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Let it be known/clearer that Academic intelligence aka “Book Smarts” is different from Emotional Intelligence aka what some people might call “wisdom”. Venus was sheltered and therefore doesn’t have the wisdom and life experience that someone her age should/would have by now. But she has had a sheltered life and she turned to books for entertainment. She has the capacity to be intelligent but she doesn’t put it to good use. She’s not giving her brain the proper nourishment so of course she’s not going to be very emotionally intelligent.
She sounds like the life has been sucked out of her in her Q&A video. One important takeaway I got is she stated that she actually did go off her meds and stop going to therapy a little while back and just recently started it all up again. Hard to guess the timeline but maybe that’s what happened to make her spiral?
Re people saying she needs intensive care and more therapy than once a week: Here in the US it is actually standard and considered quite frequent to go to therapy once a week. Anything more is rare. As for intensive care, unless you’ve actually been committed - you don’t really understand how unhelpful mental hospitals are. I have been hospitalized a few times at different hospitals and I have never met anyone who has been hospitalized say that they felt better after being committed. They treat you like animals. It’s like being in a prison. The therapy is usually group therapy. Nothing is individualized. They just pump you full of drugs that you may or may not need. They do not exist to treat you, they exist to stabilize you. It is still always your responsibility when you are discharged to seek out help yourself. I also work in a field that deals with a lot of people dealing with chronic mental illness. Institutionalizing her won’t help her. All it ever taught me and anyone else I’ve ever know is to learn to hide our problems better and encourages suffering in silence because we don’t want to go back to that hell hole. I have SO many stories of the atrocities I witnessed and experienced in hospitals as well as those I deal with at work. And being that she lives in Japan where mental health is still stigmatized and not treated like a thing, any mental hospitals there I can almost guarantee are going to make things worse for her. Someone said she’s about to hit rock bottom and as cruel as it may sound - I honestly hope that she is. Why do I say that? Because I needed to hit rock bottom before I decided I didn’t want that life anymore. I ultimately had to make the choice on whether I wanted to be helped. And I don’t know anyone who didn’t go the same route. At the end of the day, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Only when they themselves decide can you actually contribute to their path of healing. ON ANOTHER NOTE: Someone said Mikan and Venus aren’t friends anymore and that Venus said so but no ones stated when or where. They still follow each other on Instagram so I would be interested in seeing some evidence to support this.
You can have more than one Disorder. It’s called “co-morbidity” and it’s actually rare to have just 1 disorder. That being said, you can’t “barely suffer from BPD” unless you’re on the path to recovery and nearing “the end” for lack of a better phrase. And if she’s a low-functioning BPD, she wouldn’t be self-aware enough to know how bad her episodes are. I sure didn’t in the beginning. Another term for BPD is “Emotional Dysregulation” which is pretty self explanatory. Your emotions are all over the place because you have little to no impulse control over them. Hence why you have frequent “hot and cold” episodes. Her constant posting then deleting then re-posting then deleting is classic BPD. I’m not armchair diagnosing since she clearly stated at one point she has BPD. I believe she is in denial. Another sadly common thing when starting out with such a diagnosis. Funnily enough, I also have ADHD. ADHD doesn’t cause the symptoms that she has that are destructive. ADHD is frustrating and annoying, but it doesn’t cause these massive breakdowns she has. She’s proven to be an educated person, I wish that she would educate herself on mental health better since she’s clearly capable of learning well and quickly.
So, I don't know if it's at all possible with the framework/coding and all that, but I was just wondering if it was possible to incorporate a "preview" feature before posting. Like, when people play around with formatting, it'd be nice if you could preview the post before posting to make sure your formatting is all set up right. I see a lot of edits on posts that are "edited formatting" and such so a preview option could alleviate that for users. If it's possible of course! Thanks!
I don't want to laugh... but... that made me laugh. I just wanted to say that as a 30+ year old, I don't know anyone in their 30's, including myself, who knows who the fuck they are . If anything, 30 seems to be the age where we're all FINALLY starting to figure ourselves out. But I think I agree with you. He's kind of a pushover and he got taken advantage of. Hopefully he thickens up from all of this. I do have to say that given the Japanese view on mental health and the high suicide rates, I worry since he clearly has low self-esteem and he probably now has PTSD from Venus, that it might send him in a downward spiral. I hope not though. Venus and him did a video where his mother sent her gifts and she talked to her on the phone. His mom sounded SO super sweet so I hope that he at least has a solid family life to lean on. Providing of course that he's not actually some pedo-creep and just an emotionally stunted man who needs to grow up.
THANK you so very much! You summed up perfectly the message I was trying to convey! I really do appreciate that you could see past my "crassness" and see the intent behind what I say. Like, seriously! I know my tone is messed online (believe it or not, I actually do read what I write before I post and edit it down a lot but I still fail apparently lol) and I really am serious when I say I am trying to grow. It's just a challenge when this is the tone and way all of your family and friends talks and no one gets offended. You've shown some incredible growth and I really do want to commend you for that. You're leading by example and that's awesome! (See, I can be nice :P).
I am a Borderline in recovery (yes it is a real thing), but I didn't have as fucked up of an upbringing as Venus did so you're right it is going to be a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnng journey. That all being said, you're absolutely right. Speaking as a BPD now in recovery, hindsight is 20/20 and everyone who knew me was exhausted as fuck. It's a lot of up and down, hot and cold, back and forth, and it fucking sucks for everyone involved. It took a looooooooooong time to get where I am and my journey is never over. But I feel like trash for what I put my family and friends through. I think it's also important to know that since BPD is all about emotions being all over the fucking place, there is very little thought or pre-meditative motives for the things we do. I never intentionally did/said the bad things that I did and when I calmed the fuck down I always apologized for them. But there are also high-functioning and low-functioning BPD's and no two people handle the disorder the same. I think where people might get upset is because some people don't understand, as someone earlier put it, that you can both disapprove of someone's behavior and pity them at the same time. Her mental illness is the reason for why she is acting this way, but that doesn't mean it's an excuse nor justification. Understanding the why doesn't mean you're automatically giving them a free pass. But that being said, some people do do that and it's bullshit. Also, there are ways to say things. You can make the same point without being an asshole (I know. I know. Rich coming from me lol. I'm a work in progress god dammit!). Case in point - you wrote your opinion eloquently. Sadly, many of us are not so classy . More BPD's than not are actually good people at the core but their disorder fucks it all up for them. For me personally, she seems like at the core she's a good person but she's just really fucked up right now and I hope that she does continue treatment and that one day she comes out on top. But you hit the nail on the head - BPD's are notoriously insecure and therefore untreated BPD's being on social media trying to gain external validation is THE WORST thing she could do for herself. But she doesn't know any other way so I unfortunately don't see her leaving any time soon. Such is the world of social media we live in.
Edit: I did want to note that even in my worst BPD moments, I never lied. Pathological lying isn't part of BPD. It's a separate issue entirely. I'm a shitty liar and in rare attempts where I did try to lie, I failed miserably and admitted it right after lol. Just wanted to mention that.
Oh dear GOD. Look, I'm really not trying to insult you - I'm literally being real here - I think you need some serious work on your reading comprehension because it is excruciatingly poor. 1. - You would do well not to infer and assume someone's intentions based on a general post. My post was ambiguous but with a few specific users in mind that I refrained from calling out specifically. So instead, I made a general post for people like those persons to get a general point across. You and you alone assumed that it was about EVERYONE. Which if your reading comprehension was better you would understand the ability to read context. The way my post was written was very obviously a general post and not directed at any one person because as I stated, I avoided doing so. It may be cliche, but it is very true that to assume makes an "ASS" out of u and me. It happens because humans are flawed, but the point is to work on not letting it happen frequently. 2. - I highly doubt that you thoroughly read every post if that is what your response to all this is. Unless posts are being hidden (which they very well might be) I have literally SEEN posts as to which I am referencing. 3. - I took nothing of what was said as an attack to me. Are you serious right now? I read this thread from beginning to end, noticed a tone from some people and given what I do know and my knowledge of this forum, I jumped in because it was asinine that people jump to these ridiculous conclusions based off nothing. 4. - I'm not sensitive to criticism. I'm sensitive to completely unfounded, baseless, and straight up uneducated entitled bullshit being spewed. My tolerance for that is very low and no, I have no desire to change it because I refuse to enable such behavior. 5. - My god you just love to assume don't you? I worked WITH Nyx. FOR A LONG TIME when I was a mod. I know full well what her visions for the site are. But what she considers a community may very well be and probably is very different from what YOU consider a community. Literal definitions of community: "1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common."the scientific community"synonyms: group, section, body, company, set, circle, clique, coterie, ring, band, faction; More 2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals."the sense of community that organized religion can provide" " The second definition is especially important. "Common attitudes, interests, and goals". Guess who determines those things? So, yeah. Furthermore, Nyx is an incredible diplomat and mediator. But its her site and if she doesn't find a problem with how her mods are, then like I said - deal with it or leave. And believe me, she is not afraid to give mods a stern talking to when needed. She's not a pushover. She just knows how to be diplomatic. I've clearly seen that the people you claim are "bothered", are new and people who haven't been here long enough to understand how this place is/was and like I said - you don't get to go into someone else's yard and tell them how to do things. Seriously, grow up. 6. - I am incredibly disturbed at how incredibly presumptuous you are about practically everything. Let's look at this like a scale. Kiwi/Lol is at a level 10 of "ass-hattery". PULL, for the sake of argument, is around a level 4 or 5 maybe depending. That is STILL better than them but it is still NOT a tumblresque place. For the love of god we refer to the people we talk about as "snowflakes". Always have. That should be your first indicator that this isn't a place full of rainbows and butterflies. I was around when the site rules were developed, lady. We all had input on the finalized version. But if you're thin-skinned and sensitive, what you consider "civil" may not actually be what reality considers civil and that's what so many people nowadays don't seem to understand. What you consider "fair" may not actually be fair in reality. And until you learn to differentiate what YOU feel and what how society functions, you're going to have a seriously hard time living in this world. Especially on the internet which tends to be colder than the outside world. What most of you people (and I mean people like you in this forum which are in-fact in the minority) keep touting is unrealistic, perfect world rules. As I said, this place has always had an edge to it and Nyx has said she doesn't want to lose what PULL was, just clean it up a bit. But it's going to be cleaned up to HER standards. And she IS thick skinned so guess what? Her standards are going to be very different from yours. I don't mean to speak FOR her, but since you presume that it "seems like she's on board" with your opinion, then by your logic she seems to be on board with mine. But the reality is, SHE'S A DIPLOMAT. Just because she's nice to you or hasn't bitched you out doesn't mean she agrees with you. I've actually mellowed out a lot, believe it or not lol. I give tough love and not everyone likes it, but it's necessary. It may not wake you up right now, but when you get older and look back on this behavior you're going to laugh at yourself. It's textbook. This is how humans are. And I have yet to meet someone who the same thing hasn't happened to at one point or another. If you want something tamer, then go to Reddit. Simple as that. I'll [attempt] to refrain from responding further because I have a sneaky suspicion this is going to turn in to a loop of redundant commentary just based on how you're reading my posts and I don't want to contribute to derailment. So, have fun.
SIGH. I don’t think you fully comprehended what I said. You may want to try reading it again. 1. - You clearly missed the part where I said “You can make suggestions and vent actually valid criticisms” clearly illustrating that you CAN make suggestions and VALID criticisms. You know what’s not a valid criticism? “uWu your tone that’s really actually mild by comparison to the rest of the world hurt my feelings!”. Yeah, no. 2. - No one is arguing being an asshat for the sake of being an asshat. Just because PULL is better than kiwi/lol doesn’t mean they’re a soft fluffy cloud of hand holding. Again, if you weren’t here before Nyx took over, then you really have no IDEA how much “meaner” it used to be here. 3. - The fact that you say no one is questioning how hard the mods work behind the scenes goes to show how you clearly haven’t done any actual thorough reading of the complaints on here stating that they don’t work hard enough. Furthermore, as a former mod, you as a regular user have no idea the kind of ridiculously angry and entitled messages the mods gets practically on the daily behind the scenes of what a shit job they’re doing that’s completely unfounded and unwarranted. The point is just because YOU don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening as you are not privy to anything that is actually happening behind the scenes. Learn to see outside your own bubble and learn to critically think. Real advice here.