About Insecurities

44 posts in this topic

Posted

Hello girls-guys-people (¿?) who cares:)

I wanted to make a thread in the beauty  forum because I feel like we all need to  ventilate our own insecurities  off the chest.  

Do you want to share any story about acne, varicose, hair body, weight ,stretch marks  or some part of your body you never liked ?  I feel like we all need to accept ourselves but it's very hard when you scroll down to IG and you see all those flawless girls (with PS or without) -_-  In any case that cause a lot of competivity between girls to be the "most prettiest girl alive on earth" :alpacaworry:

...

I'm dealing with acne scarring right now, has been passed 2 years since I don't have acne anymore ( I'm 21 so i'm not dealing with hormones lol) and I feel very self-concious of my skin, I see the holes in my pores and I feel  ugly because my skin is very pale and it get's noticed very fast, so when I see all these girls with pretty skin I can't not feel a little jealous, I don't feel that's right but I want to make my scars less visible, so if you know any lotion that helps vanishing them, please tell me :alpacacrush:

Also I need to talk about what is perceive as beauty nowadays, I feel like we see a lot of models that use  a rare condition  (skin vitiligo, heterochromia, freckles and moles, gap teeth,curvy body) to get noticed ( I'm not saying that having  a rare condition  and showing on social media is bad), it's actually good to be diverse but I feel everyone on IG  compites nowadays to stand out more rather  than accepting themselves and their conditions.

 

Note to moderators: If this post was already made, I apologize and block it please.

2

Share this post


Link to post

Posted (edited)

Found it funny and coincidental that I have every single insecurity you listed up there, haha! 

But anyways, I can definitely relate with the acne scarring. I had light acne starting in junior high, which blew into SEVERE acne in my last year of high school. Drops hundreds, maybe even thousands, on medication and whatnot just to get it under control. I don't have it as bad anymore but man...the scars. My nose is kinda-sorta disfigured from two bumpy acne scars from sixth grade, which is probably my biggest insecurity skin-wise. Like you, my skin is also very pale; everyone called me "Snow White" growing up because my skin was so pale and so smooth, so the psychological horror of going from being told "how can such perfect skin exist!?" to "have you maybe considered Accutane" was a big blow as well. I've yet to find anything that helps much with scarring, but I really see and feel a difference in my skin when I sleep before 10:30 PM, if that means anything.

Not really relating to your "rare condition" comment about beauty, but the ABG/Instahoe/Rave Thot look/lifestyle that is so widely seen as #goals nowadays really annoys me. Maybe I'm just jealous because I'm not rich, not hot, and just the stark opposite of them in every way, but man, I really don't understand why that's "beauty" nowadays. I think it's shallow and dumb.

That, and the big-lips-big-butt trend too...and I'm saying that as someone with both.

Edited by Nakisos
0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

ouu, interesting thread.

i really hate my hair down there, it's really thick and hard to shave :alpacadone:. when i wear a bikini, hairs poke out and it's quite bothersome.

i have a huge belly, and i want to start exercising more and eating healthier but i never go through with it.. i hate myself for being so lazy. :alpacaworry2:

 

0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

I kind of hate me.

But I hate my stomach, love handles, and thighs the most. I feel disgustingly fat whenever my attention is brought to any of them.

0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

I'm honestly a confident person and on average day I feel just really good, but I have few insecurities like any person and tho I'm generally very happy with myself here are some things that get to me:

  • Moles on my face, I have a few more than I would like to and I have like a mole with no pigment and it looks a bit like a pimple. 
  • My nose. It's too tall? I guess? Like a beak. I like the shape tho and it's straight so there is that.
  • My lips. They are just thin and it's all about thick lips now so I'm a little :/ Also if you look at my side profile they are like gone. And that plus my mountain of a nose doesn't feel good.
  • The space between my nose and lips. There is just a little too much of it.

Bonus: my legs are short and I feel like I can't dress myself and I look like a boring blob, but I'm working on that

0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted (edited)

I don't have many physical insecurities, beside not having the body I want of course. But overall, I'm satisfied with what I have and I believe I have some potential. My only concern is that I don't follow trends at all and I'm kinda "out of" the society' beauty criteria.

 

But all of my insecurities goes to mental behavior and relationship. I tend to be a bit too kind, too nice. I always worry for everyone and always want to help everyone. I hate offending people and I always try to choose my word very carefully to avoid that. Im always giving myself too much and sometimes sacrificing too much things for people I thought were my friends.

Actually Im fine with that, because that is how I am and I dont really wanna change my behavior. But the problem is that now, somehow, I ended up with literally no friends.

My family is tearing appart, and the only friends I cared the most about dumped me because I was feeling a bit sad in my life and seeked help. 

Now I struggle making new friends, I dont really feel at ease with many people, and I always feel like I need to do "too much", to change myself too much to please them and befriend them - which I dont want. I sometimes find no opportunities, despite all my efforts.

 

I admitted suffering from depression 3 or 4 months ago. I try to tell myself that its not entirely my fault, since I did everything I can, but in the other hand I cant help thinking im the only one responsable and that there is things that remains that I could do to improve the situation.

 

I try not to be an attention seeker like a lot of people are. I sometimes believe that lot of people on IG or elsewhere are looking for so much attention and they have it by unfair meaning that people are now used to it. If you need attention but you dont have a perfecr body like on insta or some other things, you will remain unnoticed. You will be told that its your fault, life is unfair and you will have to live with it. But if you are a cute girl with a nice body and you like to show it to people, everyone will follow you and tell you how perfect you are and that people are stupid not liking you.

Edited by Kasanui
3

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

i'm a generally insecure person so i guess i hate everything about myself ?? lol :alpacasad:

but there are some aspects about myself i hate more than others. physically, i despise everything about my appearance (face, body, what have you) and i constantly compare myself to others, while on the personality side i hate how i'm overly sensitive and cry over such trivial things 

0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

I'm okay with what I have (face and body) tbh. I'm not the kind of people to fish for compliments "I'm soooo ugly !!" when I know I'm average/above average look wise. However, like everyone, I have insecurities.

  • My stomach. I have a small belly pouch and when I'm sitting, it does these three ugly fat rolls. It even leaves me red marks (my skin easily marks). I'm really envious towards girls with flat stomach. Y'all have been blessed.
  • My butt. It looks good under clothes but I'm still insecure about it. Since I don't do sport and have literally 0% muscle mass, my body's untoned as hell and I think it looks bad.
  • My nose. It's too big, fuckin yikes.
  • The acne on both of my cheeks. I started having it last summer-- at freakin 20 years old. Before that I only had one or two pimples here and there. I tried a treatment for months which didn't work so my doctor suggested me to swtich for the BP. We'll see how it goes. I really hope it works.
  • Finally.. Like @maetamong mentionned, I'm hairy too. It graced me with beautiful hair and eyebrows but also cursed me with very unpleasant hair.. specifically down there, on my chin, arms and boobs. It suuuucks and I personally despise it. My goal is to do laser when I'll have the money.
3

Share this post


Link to post

Posted (edited)

I have body dysmorphic disorder which means that I see flaws that are perceived or not there at all. It sucks because I’m fully aware of it and I know what I see isn’t reality but emotionally the awareness doesn’t make a difference. The worst part is that it stops me from following my dreams and doing the things I want to do because I don’t want people to see my face.

When I look in the mirror I despise the reflection. I see really chubby cheeks, bad skin, an unattractive nose, small eyes, a lanky body, etc etc etc. 

Tbh I had my first plastic surgery a year ago and I’m pretty sure I’m susceptible to getting a plastic surgery addiction :/ 

Edited by username
0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

But all of my insecurities goes to mental behavior and relationship. I tend to be a bit too kind, too nice. I always worry for everyone and always want to help everyone. I hate offending people and I always try to choose my word very carefully to avoid that. Im always giving myself too much and sometimes sacrificing too much things for people I thought were my friends.

Actually Im fine with that, because that is how I am and I dont really wanna change my behavior. But the problem is that now, somehow, I ended up with literally no friends.

My family is tearing appart, and the only friends I cared the most about dumped me because I was feeling a bit sad in my life and seeked help. 

Now I struggle making new friends, I dont really feel at ease with many people, and I always feel like I need to do "too much", to change myself too much to please them and befriend them - which I dont want. I sometimes find no opportunities, despite all my efforts.

 

I admitted suffering from depression 3 or 4 months ago. I try to tell myself that its not entirely my fault, since I did everything I can, but in the other hand I cant help thinking im the only one responsable and that there is things that remains that I could do to improve the situation.

 

I try not to be an attention seeker like a lot of people are. I sometimes believe that lot of people on IG or elsewhere are looking for so much attention and they have it by unfair meaning that people are now used to it. If you need attention but you dont have a perfecr body like on insta or some other things, you will remain unnoticed. You will be told that its your fault, life is unfair and you will have to live with it. But if you are a cute girl with a nice body and you like to show it to people, everyone will follow you and tell you how perfect you are and that people are stupid not liking you.

 

I've been there. When I was 13, that whole year was a mess. Issues in my family hit hard, and I was in and out of depression. The only difference was that I didn't say anything, and they dumped me anyways because I was too quiet for them. I also got heavily into a debate when they were talking smack about a girl who was obviously depressed and cut herself in class. They said depression was infectious, which totally was not the right word to use, and how much of an attention seeker she was but in retrospect, I see their point. That's not me agreeing to the term "attention-seeking" but it was her way of crying for help. When someone's at their lowest, you cannot help but to feel low too because there's little you can do to help. The things they said rubbed me the wrong way but many adults do not know what to say or what to do... so why should I even expect young teens to know what to say?

I'll admit, the only thing that got me out of it was getting new friends and gaining new interests. I was lucky that I had people approach me and invited me to sit with them. I initially refused but my friends-to-be wouldn't take 'no' for an answer and literally pulled me to sit with them. I didn't want to make too much of a scene so I relented. I'd say their best trait was patience. They didn't force me to say anything in their conversations and whenever I was reading a book, they'd ask me what it was about. They showed interest in whatever I was doing. I picked up reading manga because it was a way of me to talk about it with my new friends, since many of them were interested in it. 

I'm still friends with some of them today... or rather we're still on good terms. I know that some people would rather forget high school (high school was from 7th grade to 12th) and burn all the bridges. I've forgiven my old friends, because they realised that what they had done collectively was not right. A few years down the line, I was told that it was one particular girl who came up with the idea and they just went along. Soon after I was dumped, the group fell apart. By then, this girl was no longer attending our school anyways.

I've been told that I'm too nice because I don't bear any ill feelings towards these people who have done me wrong... but I think it's also one of my better traits too. It's wasted energy to keep holding onto them. I was able to forgive the people who have done shitty things (including my bullies but that's another story) because I still have faith in humankind, that people can learn and change. For some of them, I was lucky enough to see them mature, so it was easy to forgive them. However, forgiveness doesn't mean I forget, because even I have something to learn from these situations.

-----------------

I don't think too much of my physical insecurities until I see my full body shot and I'm standing next to someone who I think has a better body. Comparing myself to others is something I still need to learn to be aware of. I know it's something I can change if I really wanted to. My stomach, my broken capillaries on my face, my thighs, my nose, my size... my height. I don't know why but I just feel like if I were just a bit taller, I would be in better proportion. 

 

0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted (edited)

  • I don't really have acne anymore, but I have tiny bumps on my forehead that look like acne and look so weird when I try on foundation/concealer.
  • I'm skinny fat and I hate it and am trying to get rid of it.
  • Along with maetamong and Mewd, I also got a hairy problem and have it almost everywhere and having pale skin and dark hair doesn't help. Although, I also don't mind my lashes and eyebrows lol.
  • I have a lip biting problem and my lips get dry really really fast so they look so gross sometimes in public whenever I forget/lose my chapsticks and I have big lips so it makes it look even grosser and I can feel people staring.
  • This one might sound weird, but I feel kind of insecure with my resting bitch face because I hate it whenever people tell me "oh I thought you'd be a bitch or mean" and I feel like I spook and intimidate some people away since I already have a rolling eye tic and am a shy quiet person.
  • I have a love and hate relationship with my pale ski n cause' I burn really easily and think I'd look better with a little tan.
  • My voice sometimes. I feel like it's really high and it gets really obnoxious when I'm pissed and I can't help it and I always cringe afterward :-)  

I'm pretty sure i've got more, but these are the only ones I can remember for now. My insecurities are pretty similar to everyone's here, so I'm sorry for the repeats. But yeah, we've all got things that we are insecure about, but also things we love and are proud of so I hope everyone here, along with myself, learn to grow and accept these flaws.

Edited by two-of-hearts
1

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

For someone who is relatively content with her looks and not to brag, is even above average in it, I still have a lot of insecurities xD

  • Keratosis pillaris is the reason why I can never have a smooth skin. I'm just too lazy to put a lot of work to rid of it as much as possible :P
  • Like many Asian women, I wish I was paler. I'm not dark in particular and pretty much average in skin color, but there is just this ethereal beauty that can only be found in pale skin. It was an almost universal beauty standard before the West started to prefer tanned skin, even now paleness is still valued here to some degree. To make it worse my legs are a shade darker compared to the rest of my body. Getting a sun burn isn't a concern to me as I rarely go out in the first place. Right now, I'm using Kikumasamune Sake Skin Lotion to even out and brighten my skin color and especially moisturize my awfully dry skin.
  • I don't feel pretty wearing a bikini because my stomach isn't completely flat even if mine is 59 cm or 23 inches :alpacaworry2:
  • I envy how my mom has even less body hair than me, she doesn't even have any on her armpits! If only it was passed on to me through her genes :( Speaking of my mom, she also has a thinner nose, larger eyes and rounder face and I hate how I ended up getting these features from my dad instead ¬¬
  • I hate my side profile, it looks like a crescent moon tbh with my pointy jaw even if other people don't think so.
  • Somehow I feel like I would look cuter with a shorter body and rounder face. To me, 161 cm or 5'3 is just not petite enough as it's just around average in China and Japan (I'm Chinese born in Indonesia).
  • The moles on my face need to be gone asap.

Ok, this one is a little controversial, but important enough that I put it outside the list. Growing up with manga and Asian beauty standards, I've always yearned for a very specific form of physical beauty. Personally, I'm not too far away from it, yet it's not quite there.

Ever since I registered myself to PULL, I've been looking at Yumi King's subforum a lot. My point is, is it wrong for me to wish for a youthful, almost child-like body? Small skeletal frame, short length (like below 5'2), baby face and limbs of a ball-jointed doll. I never go to bars or parties, so not being allowed to enter isn't a problem at all. If anything, I enjoy having discounted price at museums whenever I don't need to show my id. I also like it whenever someone thought I look younger than my actual age. It still happens, depends on who I ask. Most people think I look 16, the middle schoolers who were with me in a youth language camp didn't know I was older than 14, my aunt and stepmom also thinks the same and many people are shocked that I'm above 18.

Idk, perhaps in my mind, I'm not a woman yet despite turning 20 last year and those anime girls that I feed my brain with since young age have made me delusional. I just hope these irrational thoughts won't damage my self-esteem in a long term. I'd like to know what some people in this forum think of this, just be gentle about it ^_^

1

Share this post


Link to post

Posted (edited)

In terms of grappling with my insecurities, I'm definitely in a better place than I was in my teenage years. For starters, I try to not be so hard on myself for not getting something perfect the first time.I've always been told that I have an odd or "unique" voice. Many girls tell me I sound kind of like a man and it throws them off. I think my (sometimes stubbornly shiny) forehead looks too big, and combined with my round face, I look like a beautiful egg or the moon emoji. 🌝 However, I'm afraid to get bangs to cover it because I like low-maintenance hair and I'm worried bangs will make me break out on my forehead, which is somewhat of a problem area for me. And I have a cow-lick so it's hard to style it, probably. Forever a five-head like Kiki. I also have what's called a Pigeon's chest, except not a severe form of it. My chest looks really ugly and unnatural to me because my sternum protrudes (it's obvious when I lie down) along with my ribs, and since my boobs are small, they don't hide the issue well. Kids in elementary school used to notice my chest and ask me wtf was wrong with it, so I've been insecure about it for awhile. Still hate wearing swimsuits and low-cut tops so I avoid those. When I got a physical and the doctor was checking me, I had to hold back tears when she kept prodding my chest and went "oh, you have a Pigeon's chest." I just hate it when someone notices and never want to get naked in front of anyone. So far, partners don't seem to care or notice and don't understand the issue when I explain my insecurity, so I guess it's not that bad. Lol

Edited by praxpatch
format was off/wall of text
0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

 

I'm dealing with acne scarring right now, has been passed 2 years since I don't have acne anymore ( I'm 21 so i'm not dealing with hormones lol) and I feel very self-concious of my skin, I see the holes in my pores and I feel  ugly because my skin is very pale and it get's noticed very fast, so when I see all these girls with pretty skin I can't not feel a little jealous, I don't feel that's right but I want to make my scars less visible, so if you know any lotion that helps vanishing them, please tell me :alpacacrush:

 

Hey, I basically have the same problem :)

but recently I have gotten this thing called 'micro needling' which my dermatoligist recommended me. Its a procedure with many small micro needles pocking your skin, which activates the produce of collagen and forces your skin to heal. The needles go a little deeper for the scars. My dermatoligist said to let scars vanish you should do it 2~4 time, depending how bad the scarring is. I have done it only once by now a week ago, but to be honest I can already see and feel a difference :) the first 3 days though your skin will be really dry and red though!

I will definitly do it again with hope that this one of many insecurities will at least be gone lol

0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

South East Asian here, i have few insecurities too.

My eyes. My eyes is not symmetrical at all like my left eye is smaller and goes down while the other one not-so-down. My nose alar is too big for my face, and my nose is round and flat and both of them made me don't feel good but what can i do about it since i can't change it without surgery.

On my face i have some visible pores on my nose but i used faceblur thing(?). I also have dark undereye and working on getting rid of it.

My upper arm is like thicc, and i want to tone it down but i just couldn't find great method. Any tips on this? :alpacadone:

0

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now