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    • PULL Archiving   07/22/20

      Hi all, I paid the server bill for the month so the site can be archived, sorry for the mess, didn't realize there'd be such an uproar. The site's in read-only mode. Happy archiving. Here's a link to a user-made PULL discord server: https://discord.gg/vZFEm75

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18 posts in this topic

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Edited by mislaid
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I don't have any tips to give, but I hope you will manage to get free from the oppression. :(

 

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I don't have any tips to give, but I hope you will manage to get free from the oppression. :(

 

 

Thank you! 

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I don't have any real tips either the only thing i can suggest is trying to really go slow when talking to your dad about it, sucks your mom is so negative about it

hope you'll be able to take it off in the near future 

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Sadly, I don't really have much advice to give either... I was lucky enough to grow up in a completely atheistic family so I don't even have any "ex Christian" experience to rely on. However, I did a quick google search (I'm tired so I didn't bother looking for more of them) and I found some stories that you might find helpful or at least will inspire you, even if all of them are slightly different in nature from yours to varying extents:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/3jecq9/i_removed_my_hijab_today/
http://exhijabifashion.tumblr.com
http://womensenews.org/2014/06/ex-hijabis-reflect-decision-remove-veil/
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/3esnlg/i_want_to_tell_my_parents_that_im_taking_my_hijab/
http://www.latimes.com/la-op-hussain8-2008jun08-story.html

I'm sure you've already stumbled upon some of these but like I said, I don't have any personal experience to speak from so it's a bit hard for me to give you good pieces of advice. Also, if you know French or Swedish (though I believe you live in the U.S.?) I could try looking for advice in one of those languages.

I wish you good luck

Edited by JunkFood
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God, I feel so bad for you! I knew some girls being forced to wear hijab by parents who don't even understand the meaning of it themselves, usually making their kids to do so because of cultural reasons and other bullshit about being accepted into society and God knows what. It's also bad because when you're forced to wear the hijab, you see it as something negative and don't see its true meaning. 

If you really don't want to wear it, then don't. Because at the end of the day intention matters massively when it comes to things like this in Islam. The hijab won't benefit you if you're not wearing it for the right reasons and because you don't want to in the first place. It's more personal than that. If you do decide to not wear it then remember it's okay. Your parents at the end of the day are your parents and will hopefully learn to get used to your decision as time goes by. But if they start threatening you/getting violent, etc., then please do get help. They're not being "good parents looking out for the best" or "fulfilling their roles as Muslims" by forcing and being aggressive with their daughter to wear hijab.

Here are links to some videos by Dina Tokio and her husband (muslim youtubers), she's touched on the topic before and mentions good points/advice.

 

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I'll never understand parents who force the hijab onto their daughters, like your parents sound way out of control and completely lost, they obviously want you to become religious but just don't know how to teach you.

My parents were the opposite of yours, they didn't like me wearing it because they feared I'd get harassed (which i physically did and is the reason why I don't wear it anymore), but I would suggest having a mature conversation with your father and be like I'm not ready to wear the hijab like it would honestly be even more haram to be wearing it while not being committed to it in your heart (hopefully that made sense?), and bring a few more points up and you should tell them that you'd be praying and reading the Quran so they won't think you'll be detached from Islam which might be the reason for why they're forcing you to wear the hijab. Of course, when you get older you can make your own decisions with your beliefs, but just for now, you should do the basic Muslim things to cool things down with your mother.

And if absolutely nothing works out, you might not like this tip, but for your own safety, you should follow their rules because let's be fair, you do live under their roof and are expected to follow their rules. Once you can move out, then you have the freedom of living your life the way you want to live whether it's to be religious or not, you'll hopefully get through this so good luck.

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Small story time that might help you... or might not.

Back in high school, I had these three friends who were Muslim. Two who were twins weren't forced to wear a hijab, but they were forced to keep everything else covered. Needless to say, it was pretty torturous in the summer with long sleeves and long pants. They ended up going to guidance to get some advice and guidance agreed to help them talk to their parents. They ended up having a meeting and the twins managed to tell their parents that they were suffering and didn't want to cover up everything. The mom got kind of pissed, but the dad was understanding because he didn't want them to suffer or overheat or anything. It took a while, but eventually, the mom the mom finally decided that she loved her children more than her religion and eventually agreed that they didn't have to cover up everything when it got too hot out.

The third girl was forced to wear a head covering. I don't remember what specifically it was called, but it was the one that looks more like a bag than a scarf. She didn't particularly mind it, but she wanted to have a choice. Instead of talking to her parents about it, she decided to slowly wear it less and less. First she stopped wearing it on fridays to school. Her parents worked nights, so they weren't home when she left for school, but they were when she came back, so they couldn't really force her to wear it. They were kind of upset at first, but they got used to it.

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Edited by bok joo
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If your parents will use violence on you then you definitely have to call the police. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents, maybe you will be able to talk. Wearing a hijab indeed has nothing to do with being muslim my friend is muslim and doesn't like to wear a hijab her parents were very accepting about that. They let their children choose if they wanted to wear a hijab every parent should let their kid have the choice to let them choose. 

 

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Hey guys, haven't been here for around 2 weeks. Been to morocco and my laptop broke (bye to all my files, was working on a cringe comp of the anime man and aki, kek).

I truly appreciate all of your tips and talk in general! I feel very understood (the Reddit sub forum r/exmuslim is extremely helpful too, Thank you!!!!!!)
When I was in Morocco I made up my mind and decided to keep on wearing it and leave the drama away for a long while. I'll count my blessings for now, basically being able to do everything but only the headscarf gotta stay on. Still don't get it (i am very "homosexual" (with some limits in front of them) in the open without coming out to them and my room too (yuri/lesbianic posters etc) my parents don't complain, pierce my nose, wear whatever style and it's fine etcetcetc) 

No matter how much I don't understand it and how fucked this situation is, once again, I'll count my blessings for now and move on. I always have said it's cultural and i'll say that for now too when someone asks why I still wear it. when I was in morocco I realized I should be very happy with living in the west, over there I was closeted and stared at for looking the way I do. I was close to being depressed.

Once again, thank you guys! I feel very fuzzy now, thank you thank you thank you! :alpacacrush:

Edited by M.I.A
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SMALL UPDATE AND VICTORY !!!!!!!! 

I downgraded from the HIJAB TO A TURBAN!!!!! THIS IS HUGE TO ME AND IM SO HAPPY 

I was getting ready for school and put one on, I went downstairs and everyone went with the flow, my dad even said it looked very good. My mum was kinda nagging me before dad said its fine to wear that but now its fine AND I AM GLAD. now it is harder for people to pin point that I am "Muslim" by appearance. Happy atheist right here, wearing a turban is neat and now 

I CAN FINALLY WEAR CHOKERS!!! I will buy ones with spikes on them!!!!!

EDIT: I was scared tho, before I went downstairs, I was thinking for 10 minutes and just went. When I stepped out of the door and felt the fresh air on my neck I had to stand for a minute to realize that I actually did it

Edited by M.I.A
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IM SO SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING BUT THIS IS HUGE huuUUUUGE: I FINALLY AM ALLOWED NOT TO WEAR ANYTHING ON MY HEAD NO HIJAB NO TURBAN NO NOTHING AND I CRIED LIKE A BITCH IM SO HAPPY IM SO HAPPY MY MUM ACTED LIKE A BITCH BUT MY DAD WAS FINE WITH IT I NEVER HAVE TO WEAR ANYTHING ANYMORE IM SO HAPPY I NEVER FELT THIS FREE I NEVER FELT THE HAIR ON MY HEAD I FELT SO BEAUTIFUL MY BUZZCUT LOOKS AMAZING ON ME I NEVER EVER DREAMED THAT I WOULD HAVE THE BALLS TO JUST DO IT AND BE ME BE FREE BE HAPPY RISK EVERYTHING IM SO SO HAPPY THANK ALL OF YOU SO MUCH 

What happened: I was so done, I went out of the door and yelled that I won't be wearing it anymore to my mum but I still wore my turban out of fear of my dad seeing me, my mum already thought I removed it.

So when I arrived in the city of  my school I removed it and called dad and he reassured me that I will be just fine and that he wont hate me but that he will want to talk to me after I come back. He sounded so sweet I never expected his reaction to be so caring. 

For any hijabi out there forced into it, I wish you the best of luck and so much power in the future,your day will come too and never lose hope! :alpacacrush:

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Congrats for that! 

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