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Random Chat Thread

2191 posts in this topic

Posted

I don't know what I am feeling. I've been like this for months, but I'm feeling like I'll only get worse.

My moods are always changing and it's always out of nowhere, so if I'm happy now then I'll probably be really sad in five minutes, and I'll act rude and cold to everyone who's close to me. It changes a lot and I end up hurting my boyfriend, which makes me very sad. That's not what I want at all.

I think a lot about killing myself. I cut my arm back in December and I worried some people, I really wanted to die back then and I guess I still want - I wonder how I should do it.

I don't want to start crying out of nowhere. I don't want to get randomly happy and then get my mood fucked because of a little thing that'll sour my entire day. I don't want to feel insecure. I'm always worrying my boyfriend and I don't want it, I don't want to be always a bother to him.

I'm always scared that I'm going to be alone. I don't want my boyfriend to leave me again. Sometimes I post some self-deprecating stuff online and I don't know if it's a cry for help or if I want someone - him - to tell me that I'm important. I'm so terrified...

 

hi there, I just want to say that you are important and that if you need someone to talk to, please reach out. Not sure if you plan to or already are, but you should seek professional help so that you have someone who can get you through your emotions and figure out why you have mood swings. 

I’m similar to you, and I’m waiting for better insurance to kick in to seek professional help.

 

my random thought: why do men knock out so fast. Like within 3 seconds. It takes me eons to fall asleep, maybe it’s because I have a lot on my mind lately 😪

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i,, dont really know how much longer i cant handle this? i hate crying myself to sleep every night and im actually crying whil i write this lmao

i just wish i was important to someone or that someone at least cared about me, but i have no one to talk about how i am feeling anymore and i dont feel like getting a psychatirst (idk how to english) cuz im gonna kill myself soon anyway

no one even takes me seriously anymore

and tbh no one will miss me when im gone so idk?

i just wanted to tell someone how i am feeling

at least here i wont feel like a burden

no wonder everyone leaves me, im a unstable depressed mess lmao sdmsdjsh no wonder my boyfriend left me once lmao jsdkfsfsh fuck

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My anxiety is getting better and I ordered new skincare. I´m feeling good :alpacacrush:

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i,, dont really know how much longer i cant handle this? i hate crying myself to sleep every night and im actually crying whil i write this lmao

i just wish i was important to someone or that someone at least cared about me, but i have no one to talk about how i am feeling anymore and i dont feel like getting a psychatirst (idk how to english) cuz im gonna kill myself soon anyway

no one even takes me seriously anymore

and tbh no one will miss me when im gone so idk?

i just wanted to tell someone how i am feeling

at least here i wont feel like a burden

no wonder everyone leaves me, im a unstable depressed mess lmao sdmsdjsh no wonder my boyfriend left me once lmao jsdkfsfsh fuck

 

I'm always willing to listen. No judgment or burden. 

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I'm always willing to listen. No judgment or burden. 

 

We are always here to help, so please don't hesitate to reach out.

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The version of "Baby Shark" I learned when I was a kid was so brutal compared to the modern version. I feel like they sterilized it because parents of five year olds don't want to hear the subsequent lines after the family sharks lapse into "LOST A LEG DU DU DU LOST AN ARM DU DU DU", and so on and so forth, until the narrator? loses all their limbs. I don't know why, I know my childhood memory is bad, but that is the version I remember learning, and it's one of the few, odd things I can remember clearly. Nothing about chasing after small fish and then those fish swimming away, which is the contemporary version. 

Maybe I just learned a really dark version of the song and not the usual rendition of it? Kind of like how one of my religion teachers at episcopal school taught me a "dark" version of We Three Kings. Which is pretty weird considering she was mocking the subject she was teaching?

"we three kings of oreintar puffing on a royal cigar, it was loaded, it exploded, poof"

Which sounds… really really wrong, now. 

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tbh i am losing interest in anything rn like i just wanna do nothing. i want to read a book or watch a movie but right in the middle of doing so i start losing interest. watched aquaman awhile ago on tv and got to finished it without feeling idk i can't even explain it. i feel like sleeping all the time and sometimes when i sleep i can't even stay asleep. my mood is always down.

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tbh i am losing interest in anything rn like i just wanna do nothing. i want to read a book or watch a movie but right in the middle of doing so i start losing interest. watched aquaman awhile ago on tv and got to finished it without feeling idk i can't even explain it. i feel like sleeping all the time and sometimes when i sleep i can't even stay asleep. my mood is always down.

 

I don't want to exaggerate, but you need to get that checked out. It's a major symptom in depression.

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Posted (edited)

The version of "Baby Shark" I learned when I was a kid was so brutal compared to the modern version. I feel like they sterilized it because parents of five year olds don't want to hear the subsequent lines after the family sharks lapse into "LOST A LEG DU DU DU LOST AN ARM DU DU DU", and so on and so forth, until the narrator? loses all their limbs. I don't know why, I know my childhood memory is bad, but that is the version I remember learning, and it's one of the few, odd things I can remember clearly. Nothing about chasing after small fish and then those fish swimming away, which is the contemporary version. 

Maybe I just learned a really dark version of the song and not the usual rendition of it? Kind of like how one of my religion teachers at episcopal school taught me a "dark" version of We Three Kings. Which is pretty weird considering she was mocking the subject she was teaching?

"we three kings of oreintar puffing on a royal cigar, it was loaded, it exploded, poof"

Which sounds… really really wrong, now. 

 

I think it was just really fun to jump up and down on one leg, and flail one arm around like you lost it. Also the increasing speed of your CPR as it's not working, and then its all over. Like that song was so fun and intense for 5yo me to sing/dance along to.

what dances do they do in the new version when they find a fish? Im picturing either a hand "goggles" or maybe a hand "fin" on top of your head like a shark searching? Lolz  the new version definitely lost the intensity I found so fun as a kid. We had the better version. 

Edited by Notsurewhattonamemyself
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I think it was just really fun to jump up and down on one leg, and flail one arm around like you lost it. Also the increasing speed of your CPR as it's not working, and then its all over. Like that song was so fun and intense for 5yo me to sing/dance along to.

what dances do they do in the new version when they find a fish? Im picturing either a hand "goggles" or maybe a hand "fin" on top of your head like a shark searching? Lolz  the new version definitely lost the intensity I found so fun as a kid. We had the better version. 

 

yay, i'm glad someone else learned the version i remember

mostly a spastic flailing of arms or something and hunting/swimming motions in order to illustrate running away? at least that's what it seems to be in the official video

it seems like they "cleaned up" the last verse because parents... and i don't want to critique parenting today too harshly, but someone's parents probably would get more easily offended now then they would 10-20 years ago, which is why i imagine they changed the name. everything seems so much softer, squishier, and innocent compared to what i saw and learned from media and by mouth when i was a kid, and that was, what, the 2000s?

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Hidden Content

 

yes i will, thank you for your concern.

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I wish i had the feet to wear combat boots but i can't bc i have big feet and if i wear those shoes my feet looks massive :(

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Posted (edited)

1553976334189.jpegwhy is kiwifarms freaking the fuck out after the NZ shooting? haven't read the linked letter but does that mean that the Christchurch shooter was an active member of their site? I head they got DDoS'd after the attack occurred so I'm thinking he was and a hacking vigilante group caught wind of it, then the NZ police.

with the amount of far right extremists congregating there it's pretty much inevitable that a shooter was going to emerge eventually. It's happened on other sites with extremist communities and it was going to happen to them.... they're like one step up from 4chan at this point, which is why I do nothing but lurk now. 

And their solution to this is to "go underground and use a VPN hurrr durrr", like maybe they should reconsider just how populated the site is by neonazis but that's too much to ask when null is a fucking neonazi himself who condones spreading alt right filth, doxing and cowtipping. Can't say I feel one bit sorry for ya kiwifarms, you're digging your own grave. 

Knew an active kiwifarms lurker who served as a minor informant to me as to how bad the site really is and it goes far deeper than just people being hateful online.

Many kf users admitted to being in actual irl extremist groups such as Antomwaffan, a US based neonazi group, one of their members killed a Jewish-American college student, (I think that's how the name is spelled?), Aryan Nations, and other white supremacist circles. And many of them purposely go to other sites and post propaganda in order to recruit and shy kids and young men into neonazi ideologies that start online, add them to their discords, which can escalate to them joining local hate group chapters irl via those discords. Some terrifying and disgusting stuff, but I'm not at all surprised it's happening.

id just be surprised that kf is fucking sperging about their site being threatened by the NZ gov, usually they'd be ignoring it like it's a joke but I guess they actually feel fucking threatened now? That's hilarious. 

The site feels like it's been more about having a space for political screeching and less about the drama for a long time now. They mock PULL and lolcow but at least we have actual snowflake milk and discourse by comparison and less alt right BS. if null really wants to hide the more extremists members of his site he should ban them and stop being a nazi himself but since that's never going to happen, pls remain scared kf, pls stay salty

Edited by lowblow
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Posted

So I tried to put in circle lenses for the first time today with no success, but that's probably because my eyes are dry as heck from not sleeping much this past week (damn you college) and won't accept anything foreign coming in contact. But I realized that if I were able to get them in, how do take them out when I have such long nails? 

95FBD71C-A380-4A18-95A8-2A3F2CA88326.thu

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So I tried to put in circle lenses for the first time today with no success, but that's probably because my eyes are dry as heck from not sleeping much this past week (damn you college) and won't accept anything foreign coming in contact. But I realized that if I were able to get them in, how do take them out when I have such long nails? 

95FBD71C-A380-4A18-95A8-2A3F2CA88326.thu

 

use pad of your fingers

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