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Taylor R - videos #2

9191 posts in this topic

Posted

I stand by my assessment that she's never lost a relative before. 

It sucks and it's hard but...I dunno, even when my grandad, who I was incredibly close to (talked to him every day) passed several years ago, I was not a horrible depressed mess for 5+ weeks. 

Life goes on, and it goes forward. She needs to find something to distract her and help her to refocus. I would not be so "ugh girl" if she lost a sibling or spouse, but an elderly grandparent you see once a year? It's unhealthy. 

I agree she'd probably benefit from a therapist.

 

I feel you on this, but (im so sorry, im being a huge echo chamber) everyone's gonna deal with loss differently, and its amazing how it sneaks up on you.

When my elderly uncle passed away I was sad and moved on quickly- life's life. But then I heard about the passing of a childhood friend- one who had moved away ages ago and I was barely in contact with, for some reason that one really hit me badly? and I needed a lot of time to process it! For someone who, at the time of their passing, I at MOST sent a smiley via messenger. wtf. Humans and brains and feelings are strange creatures. I don't blame her having trouble processing it. 

I absolutely agree she needs a therapist. I used one myself for that time in my life. 

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She said she was brought up by her grandparents because her parents worked a lot and that she thinks of her grandad as her father so it's hardly shocking that it has affected her this much.

I know there are cultures where you leave home at 18 and your family is only legally a family to you and you put your elderly into a retirement home or they live and die on their own....  but to the rest of us, especially those of us living in multi-generational families, a loss of a grandparent IS a huge deal.

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Posted

She said she was brought up by her grandparents because her parents worked a lot and that she thinks of her grandad as her father so it's hardly shocking that it has affected her this much.

I know there are cultures where you leave home at 18 and your family is only legally a family to you and you put your elderly into a retirement home or they live and die on their own....  but to the rest of us, especially those of us living in multi-generational families, a loss of a grandparent IS a huge deal.

 

I do believe her when she says her grandpa was very close to her and she has the right to mourn. However, every other little thing that has happened to her she decides to give herself a month break. She needs to see a therapist. 

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Posted

She admits to struggling a lot and being unable to move forward. She has enough money. She has the time. So seeking a therapist only can do her good, I don't think there's much to discuss about that.

No one's saying she's not allowed to grieve and take her time with it, but if she herself feels like she's completely alone and has no one to talk to, that's where therapists come into play. And if it's only to have someone who listens and gives advice. That has nothing to do with not caring about relatives, close or not.

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She said she was brought up by her grandparents because her parents worked a lot and that she thinks of her grandad as her father so it's hardly shocking that it has affected her this much.

I know there are cultures where you leave home at 18 and your family is only legally a family to you and you put your elderly into a retirement home or they live and die on their own....  but to the rest of us, especially those of us living in multi-generational families, a loss of a grandparent IS a huge deal.

 

no offense but you are not the only one who is close to their grandparents. a lot of us were. i was brought up by mine. but when my grandpa died i had no luxury of taking a month off from literally everything in my life. i still had to help my parents and my grandma, i still had to go to work. 

i guess people just wanna point out how privileged and spoiled she is. and she really is. she does literally nothing all day, and that is kind of scary cause that's how you fall into depression deeper and deeper. this isn't us being "pft, look at this dumb girl mourning her grandpa for a month, what an idiot" 

this is, kind of concerning at least for me...she doesn't even annoy me at this point, she's kind of...i pity her at this point. i hope someone makes her go to a therapist cause otherwise she's just gonna rot the fuck away.

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I felt sad watching the video, it's obviously a devastating loss for her. I can imagine it must be very hard to go back to shooting videos where you have to be entertaining the whole time even if you feel like crap.

But yeah, as others have said, that applies to everybody that has to go back to work after just few days of mourning. People who have to actually work for living can't afford to just wail in grief at home. And I don't think it's doing her any good. If there wasn't a good time to go to a therapist before, I think it is definitely now.

I don't really like the new hair, but maybe it will make it easier to grow them out and get back to her natural colour.

 

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I really liked the second half of this video where she was talking about her grandfather and his life. You can see how much she loved him and how much she is hurting. I know most people wouldn’t post such thing on YouTube, but Taylor is a bit different and this is a normal thing for her (sharing her life online) and I think it was a very healthy thing for her to do. She got her emotions out and gave some good advice. She would greatly benefit from therapy. I hope after this she can move forward and heal. ❤️

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Posted

I stand by my assessment that she's never lost a relative before. 

It sucks and it's hard but...I dunno, even when my grandad, who I was incredibly close to (talked to him every day) passed several years ago, I was not a horrible depressed mess for 5+ weeks. 

Life goes on, and it goes forward. She needs to find something to distract her and help her to refocus. I would not be so "ugh girl" if she lost a sibling or spouse, but an elderly grandparent you see once a year? It's unhealthy. 

I agree she'd probably benefit from a therapist.

 

You are you, and she is she. Did you even watch the video? Obviously he has/had big spot in her life.

 

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Posted

I stand by my assessment that she's never lost a relative before. 

It sucks and it's hard but...I dunno, even when my grandad, who I was incredibly close to (talked to him every day) passed several years ago, I was not a horrible depressed mess for 5+ weeks. 

Life goes on, and it goes forward. She needs to find something to distract her and help her to refocus. I would not be so "ugh girl" if she lost a sibling or spouse, but an elderly grandparent you see once a year? It's unhealthy. 

I agree she'd probably benefit from a therapist.

 

Taylor is a family person. She doesn’t have many friends, and seems to spend most of her socialization time talking to her family. She doesn’t have wonderful communication with Tom, so her family is her everything ...IMO. It makes sense she is devastated. But she’ll get through it. 

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Posted (edited)

She said she was brought up by her grandparents because her parents worked a lot and that she thinks of her grandad as her father so it's hardly shocking that it has affected her this much.

I know there are cultures where you leave home at 18 and your family is only legally a family to you and you put your elderly into a retirement home or they live and die on their own....  but to the rest of us, especially those of us living in multi-generational families, a loss of a grandparent IS a huge deal.

 

I admittedly didn't watch the video so my bad there. It makes more sense then.

You are you, and she is she. Did you even watch the video? Obviously he has/had big spot in her life.

 

 

Nope, I haven't watched anything she has done since Vlogmas. I understand what you're saying, but what I (incorrectly?) was trying to say was that she would have a better time coping by either talking to someone or having something to distract her (like a job where you have stuff to do every day) or both. Staying home and wallowing in grief is so unhealthy, and most people have things in their life to distract them day to day and keep them going. Taylor doesn't have that, and I think it made her grief worse because of it.

I went ahead and watched it, at least she learned about Elizabeth Kubler Ross and the stages of grief, and as I was saying above, the distraction of her friend visiting helped her. That's the kind of thing she needs. Hopefully she gets better from here. And I still think she would benefit from talking to somebody. 

Edited by heckin_bork
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I feel like she should have done a separate video about dealing with loss if that was what she wanted to share with her viewers. Doing it as part of a weekly vlog felt very very uncomfortable and off, like "dealing with grief, oh and I got my hair dyed again!". 

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Being physically away from a family member that has passed...I don’t know but for me it hits way harder than you’d think. I admittedly don’t follow her often but she needs to be with family and not Tom and her wannabe BFF assistant. 

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i think (some) of you guys are being kind of harsh. and i'm sure this goes beyond just her grandfather dying. when you live abroad and someone passes, it can make you rethink everything. am i doing the right thing being so far away from my family? did i make a mistake leaving my home country? should i have visited more often? i can't speak for her, but when it happened to me, i was dealing with feelings of guilt and regret as well as grief. it can make it harder to move on, because you're suddenly thinking about everyone in your family - i'm sure she's thinking of her grandmother a lot right now - and wondering if you want to go through this (grief, guilt, regret) again. 

also, and i hope i don't come off as a wk, but i don't really get giving her flak for not needing a job/being able to take a month off. if you had the same resources as her, maybe /you/ would work, but the majority of people wouldn't. a lot of upper-class/upper-middle class married women (especially those who live in asia) don't work. even if they have kids, they just hire a nanny. they have cooks. they have maids. they literally don't even drive. it's not that unusual when you're in that income bracket. taylor may not do much to you, but she does much more than a lot of them. 

i do think she'd feel better doing something with more purpose though. she wants kids a lot, and i'm sure hong kong is full of children in need. volunteering to work with orphaned or low-income kids would be great for her imo. she would feel like she's making a difference and being around children would help her get ready for parenthood. 

again, not to wk but you guys are kinda mean. taylor has a lot of issues - the photoshopping, misleading people about her career, etc - but you can tell she's actually a kind and caring person who struggles with certain insecurities. she's not kenna. personally i don't think the nitpicking is justified 

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Posted (edited)

i think (some) of you guys are being kind of harsh. and i'm sure this goes beyond just her grandfather dying. when you live abroad and someone passes, it can make you rethink everything. am i doing the right thing being so far away from my family? did i make a mistake leaving my home country? should i have visited more often? i can't speak for her, but when it happened to me, i was dealing with feelings of guilt and regret as well as grief. it can make it harder to move on, because you're suddenly thinking about everyone in your family - i'm sure she's thinking of her grandmother a lot right now - and wondering if you want to go through this (grief, guilt, regret) again. 

also, and i hope i don't come off as a wk, but i don't really get giving her flak for not needing a job/being able to take a month off. if you had the same resources as her, maybe /you/ would work, but the majority of people wouldn't. a lot of upper-class/upper-middle class married women (especially those who live in asia) don't work. even if they have kids, they just hire a nanny. they have cooks. they have maids. they literally don't even drive. it's not that unusual when you're in that income bracket. taylor may not do much to you, but she does much more than a lot of them. 

i do think she'd feel better doing something with more purpose though. she wants kids a lot, and i'm sure hong kong is full of children in need. volunteering to work with orphaned or low-income kids would be great for her imo. she would feel like she's making a difference and being around children would help her get ready for parenthood. 

again, not to wk but you guys are kinda mean. taylor has a lot of issues - the photoshopping, misleading people about her career, etc - but you can tell she's actually a kind and caring person who struggles with certain insecurities. she's not kenna. personally i don't think the nitpicking is justified 

 

She has resources and doesn't use them to her benefit. All we are saying is that her doing nothing is making it worse and using youtube as a thearpy session isn't helpful. Look at venus when she tried to use youtube for her personal problems and it messed her up even more. If Taylor has issues, she shouldn't use personal problems to sell on YouTube. She want to be like the Kardashians, this is the price it comes with. 

Minus her grandfather passing. Take that out for a moment., She really hasn't done much and she is still western even if she lives in hong kong. Then she brags on Instagram giving boss girl advice when all she did was marry a rich guy. Three years ago she was on her game but now her goal is be a wife and have a baby. Let us tell girls who are low income to follow their dreams when their dreams might but them into debt. Taylor is naive and lives in a bubble. Her business is a joke and a side gig. 

Edited by saber932
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