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Taylor R - videos #2

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Posted

To everyone saying they hope Taylor gets a hobby to give her meaning - I'm sure this will come with some down votes but I'm okay with that - I am wondering if her becoming a mother and wanting a baby so bad is part of her desire for/lack of meaning or purpose.

I know that for a while she had been taking about/hinting at wanting a family and such, but from what I've seen, a lot of people have kids because they feel like it will give their lives meaning. They feel like they have nothing going for them but having a kid will give them "purpose" every day. For someone like Taylor who has an arguably directionless life at the moment, that aspect of motherhood may appeal to her for that reason.

I'm not a fan of kids and identify as childfree by choice so I acknowledge that I may have a bias showing, but I'm almost wondering if the kid will basically be the stand in for a hobby in terms of "fulfilment" for her.

 

I believe you are absolutely right with this one and if I don't remember it wrong this has been talked about year/years ago the first time that Taylor's lack of purpose is the reason for all her stupid viral-aiming videos, her trying too hard, her copying other people. It all comes down to her not feeling like a respectable person with a meaning. I'm very much afraid that when/if she gets pregnant and has a baby she's going to give up everything for that baby. No more social life (like she has any), youtube, instagram, Rosie, Tom... They will all get sacked from her "most important"-list once she has a baby. She's only going to be a mom and mom only and years from now she'll realize she lost her youth, never found herself and might grow into a bitter old woman.

As a rule I have given myself: first find yourself, then find a partner, then find kids

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I believe you are absolutely right with this one and if I don't remember it wrong this has been talked about year/years ago the first time that Taylor's lack of purpose is the reason for all her stupid viral-aiming videos, her trying too hard, her copying other people. It all comes down to her not feeling like a respectable person with a meaning. I'm very much afraid that when/if she gets pregnant and has a baby she's going to give up everything for that baby. No more social life (like she has any), youtube, instagram, Rosie, Tom... They will all get sacked from her "most important"-list once she has a baby. She's only going to be a mom and mom only and years from now she'll realize she lost her youth, never found herself and might grow into a bitter old woman.

As a rule I have given myself: first find yourself, then find a partner, then find kids

 

I think that your rule is a very healthy one. Many people lose their identities after having children, and I find that to be sad. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you can't enjoy going out with your friends, having fun doing your hobbies, working towards your career growth, working on personal growth, etc.

Being a parent is part of one's identity, it should not be the only aspect of that identity.

Edited by heckin_bork
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I may be wrong but somehow Taylor just don't come across to me as someone who would be keen to be a mother. I have a strange feeling that the whole "want to have a baby" thing is coming from her husband. She just got influenced and thought she should have a baby. (?)

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I may be wrong but somehow Taylor just don't come across to me as someone who would be keen to be a mother. I have a strange feeling that the whole "want to have a baby" thing is coming from her husband. She just got influenced and thought she should have a baby. (?)

 

There have been moments in the videos where she does seem subservient to him. It's a possibility. 

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I'm pretty sure she always wanted to be a mom and a wife. He's the one who took 5 whole years before marrying her. Way too long. 

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I may be wrong but somehow Taylor just don't come across to me as someone who would be keen to be a mother. I have a strange feeling that the whole "want to have a baby" thing is coming from her husband. She just got influenced and thought she should have a baby. (?)

 

^ This, in addition to the fact that she wants to remain young and beautiful for as long as possible otherwise she wouldn't have her lifestyle, love life, wealth and everything else without it.

Becoming a mother takes away from the "youth" element; you're no longer seen as a young adult and usually symbolizes for a woman that you have entered a more mature phase of your life. Plus, pregnancy and child rearing can take a huge toll on your physical appearance. Pregnancy makes you gain weight, you can stretch marks, your skin changes in all a sorts of ways and your entire stomach bulges. 

The entire process of becoming pregnant and becoming a mother goes almost entirely against Taylor's ambitions. But on the other hand, if she does not follow, she could lose her lifestyle, love life, wealth. So in order to maintain it, she complies with the expectations Ewsan upon on her.

Edited by Caeleigh
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I haven't watched a most of Taylor's December videos because I got bored after the first two. I have to admit that the recent weekly vlog was not too bad because covered a lot of ground. I did notice how full her cheeks were; she must have had some fillers in Toronto.

I do think she wants to be a mother whether that's a heavy influence from her husband an and/or her own desire to be a mother. She probably won't enjoy it but she has the money to get a nanny. In HK and China, it is very common to employ someone regularly to babysit, pick their kids from school, do housework, etc. It's not limited to rich people and as a rich family, they will definitely have someone doing most of the hard work with the baby.

Also, Taylor will work the pregnancy and the baby into her videos. 

Edited by jaelyss
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I haven't watched a most of Taylor's December videos because I got bored after the first two. I have to admit that the recent weekly vlog was not too bad because covered a lot of ground. I did notice how full her cheeks were; she must have had some fillers in Toronto.

I do think she wants to be a mother whether that's a heavy influence from her husband an and/or her own desire to be a mother. She probably won't enjoy it but she has the money to get a nanny. In HK and China, it is very common to employ someone regularly to babysit, pick their kids from school, do housework, etc. It's not limited to rich people and as a rich family, they will definitely have someone doing most of the hard work with the baby.

Also, Taylor will work the pregnancy and the baby into her videos. 

 

I also totally think she'll find a way to make her pregnancy work in her videos as well, however in a Q+A on insta, elbow san stated that he does not want the future children's faces on youtube so they can decide for themselves if they want their life to be public or private (along with some other things, like how he's thought about leaving Taylor before...), not sure what Taylor's take is on this but considering her life is very public, it might be difficult. 

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^ This, in addition to the fact that she wants to remain young and beautiful for as long as possible otherwise she wouldn't have her lifestyle, love life, wealth and everything else without it.

Becoming a mother takes away from the "youth" element; you're no longer seen as a young adult and usually symbolizes for a woman that you have entered a more mature phase of your life. Plus, pregnancy and child rearing can take a huge toll on your physical appearance. Pregnancy makes you gain weight, you can stretch marks, your skin changes in all a sorts of ways and your entire stomach bulges. 

The entire process of becoming pregnant and becoming a mother goes almost entirely against Taylor's ambitions. But on the other hand, if she does not follow, she could lose her lifestyle, love life, wealth. So in order to maintain it, she complies with the expectations Ewsan upon on her.

 

There could also be an element of "that's what everyone else is doing and what you're 'supposed' to do" when you are in our (she's a year younger than me) age group. 

Carly got married and preggo in the first year, her friend got married (and maybe she's trying to get pregnant too) and maybe she wants them to be preggo together, her other sister had another baby, Ew-sans family had a baby recently, etc.

She is kind of a trend follower, so it's not surprising that she might feel "behind everyone else" in those "milestones" and explain why they are in such a hurry to "catch up." 

I've been married for 5 years and people constantly ask me when we're having kids, or some people just assume I've got them already and ask me stuff like "are your kids off this week?" when it's like winter break or something. Then they're shocked and aghast when I'm like "lol never!" 

I think she feels like she has to meet that milestone of where she "should be" in the grand Life Script, and as I've said before, only has the glamourized, Polaroid moments of having a baby (like Pinterest maternity photos, picking out baby clothes, decorating a nursery) in her brain instead of the reality that it's going to change and in some cases could very much damage her body, she's not going to sleep very much, what if the kid is sick or poops or projectile vomits, or how much work is it going to be to fly across the world with an infant, how much will her husband be available etc? You know, the reality of having a kid with the lifelong commitment and 24/7 responsibility that entails.

ETA: I'm also low-key worried for her after she has the baby because there's all this build up and excitement and kittens and rainbows that everyone talks about and makes an expectant mother believe while they're pregnant and then after the baby is born, it's... Over? No more excitement and anticipation? PPD is a very real thing and that kind of "loss" can really impact peoples' state of mind too. 

Edited by heckin_bork
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There could also be an element of "that's what everyone else is doing and what you're 'supposed' to do" when you are in our (she's a year younger than me) age group. 

Carly got married and preggo in the first year, her friend got married (and maybe she's trying to get pregnant too) and maybe she wants them to be preggo together, her other sister had another baby, Ew-sans family had a baby recently, etc.

She is kind of a trend follower, so it's not surprising that she might feel "behind everyone else" in those "milestones" and explain why they are in such a hurry to "catch up." 

I've been married for 5 years and people constantly ask me when we're having kids, or some people just assume I've got them already and ask me stuff like "are your kids off this week?" when it's like winter break or something. Then they're shocked and aghast when I'm like "lol never!" 

I think she feels like she has to meet that milestone of where she "should be" in the grand Life Script, and as I've said before, only has the glamourized, Polaroid moments of having a baby (like Pinterest maternity photos, picking out baby clothes, decorating a nursery) in her brain instead of the reality that it's going to change and in some cases could very much damage her body, she's not going to sleep very much, what if the kid is sick or poops or projectile vomits, or how much work is it going to be to fly across the world with an infant, how much will her husband be available etc? You know, the reality of having a kid with the lifelong commitment and 24/7 responsibility that entails.

ETA: I'm also low-key worried for her after she has the baby because there's all this build up and excitement and kittens and rainbows that everyone talks about and makes an expectant mother believe while they're pregnant and then after the baby is born, it's... Over? No more excitement and anticipation? PPD is a very real thing and that kind of "loss" can really impact peoples' state of mind too. 

 

You couldn't describe it better - I have the same feeling. She mentions how she wants to be a mother, but my impression is she only sees the instagrammable version of motherhood. Even though her siblings have kids she's not there all the time to see what it really is. She plays with the boys, she does all the nice stuff aunts do, but she's not there through sickness, sleepless nights. I'm worried she will be disappointed (? maybe it's not the right word) with what is really is to be a parent. I'm sure she will love her child, but I'm not sure if she really is ready for this.

I know they have all the (dirty) money in the world to hire a nanny, travel the world with a baby etc., but it's just simply not the same, even with help. 

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You couldn't describe it better - I have the same feeling. She mentions how she wants to be a mother, but my impression is she only sees the instagrammable version of motherhood. Even though her siblings have kids she's not there all the time to see what it really is. She plays with the boys, she does all the nice stuff aunts do, but she's not there through sickness, sleepless nights. I'm worried she will be disappointed (? maybe it's not the right word) with what is really is to be a parent. I'm sure she will love her child, but I'm not sure if she really is ready for this.

I know they have all the (dirty) money in the world to hire a nanny, travel the world with a baby etc., but it's just simply not the same, even with help. 

 

I think that disappointed is a good word, I know what you mean. One of my friends told me that everyone told her that you won't care when it's your kid (in regards to getting peed on or spit up on or whatever) and was like "they are all full of shit because it's still nasty!" 

A lot of people tell expecting mothers that it's so magical to have a kid and it's the greatest thing ever, that you don't know true love until you have a kid, etc....

But they don't talk about things like ... To date, my friends that have had kids:

- One, her son separated her tailbone and she couldn't walk for the last third of her pregnancy and was in pain even laying down

- My co-workers SIL got a rare form of lukemia from having her baby, his wife just donated bone marrow to her over Christmas and now they are waiting to see if she will live or if her body will reject it

- Another friend, her daughter seriously damaged her body during pregnancy and disfigured her during childbirth and even if she wanted another kid it would be extremely dangerous for her

- The same one who was grossed out by being spit up on also had pretty awful PPD, thankfully she has a great support network, but she went in thinking she'd have 3-5 kids and now she's done with 1.

I know my sample size is small, but I feel like no one talks about the negative impacts of pregnancy and child rearing and anecdotally I have found that a lot of people I know are very... disillusioned? that parenthood is not everything everyone told them it would be. And if I know this many people among my very limited friends group who feel this way, how many others are out there? 

I'm sure parenthood is totally worth it and can be very gratifying to people who truly want it and don't mind the bad with the good. Is Taylor one of those people? She has not really shown us she is, but she hasn't ever really shown us "True Tay" either so who knows? 

Edited by heckin_bork
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I'm mostly just shocked that Taylor is willing to sacrifice her body for pregnancy. If I didn't know any better I would've thought she's too vain and concerned about her youth for it.

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I also totally think she'll find a way to make her pregnancy work in her videos as well, however in a Q+A on insta, elbow san stated that he does not want the future children's faces on youtube so they can decide for themselves if they want their life to be public or private (along with some other things, like how he's thought about leaving Taylor before...), not sure what Taylor's take is on this but considering her life is very public, it might be difficult. 

I think other Youtubers and influencers have tried it as well by not showing the baby's face, but I think elbowsan will probably allow Taylor to vlog the baby only from the back of their head or whatever. He's become a lot more lenient with his own social media presence lately and a big part of Taylor's brand is the vlogging. She doesn't need to put makeup on the baby or have them front and centre, but she will likely shop a lot for the kid. We'll see her mother activities without the whole of the child. 

I think Taylor is a family oriented person so she sees having the baby as important to their life. She is vain but she isn't working as a model anymore so she doesn't have to worry as much as being model fit. However, after she has a baby, she will be very obsessed with getting fit though.

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Wait, why do we think Taylor doesn't want to have kids? She's very slim, so she probably won't gain too much weight while pregnant (that's more of a North American thing) 

The recommended weight gain in Japan for a pregnant woman is much lower and she'll probably try to follow that standard because she is weeby and borderline ED sufferer

She (consciously or not) subscribes to the kind of patriarchal mainstream messaging that includes biological clock myths and probably wants to get pregnant sooner rather than later

 

Her career as a "model" (or lack thereof) is definitely over. She's 30. Her career as a YouTuber would be fine, she'd have to reorient the channel, but there are plenty of mommy vloggers and it could be a good niche (international/multicultural parenting). Making videos is hard with a toddler running around but I agree they will likely have au pairs or other "help". 

 

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