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Rant Thread

4145 posts in this topic

Posted

I’m irrationally scared of men getting close to me. Like, I’m panromantic demisexual (wow am I the poster girl for tumblr yet?) so I do like men and think they are physically and aesthetically attractive. Yet, whenever I have guys come onto me, I clam up sooooo bad. Right now, for instance, a friend of mine has been flirting with me. At first, I thought he was just kidding around with friendly banter (because I thought he was still with his girlfriend). This afternoon though, he made a comment about me being beautiful inside and out (which was random because all I said was that if he made YouTube videos, I would watch them). So, I double checked his FB profile and saw it said he was single (I had no idea they broke up. They were together like 5 years). Now, I don’t know how to feel. If he is flirting, I’m super flattered because he’s a really sweet and attractive guy. But also, it makes me just not want to go around him because I feel too awkward.

On the other hand, though, I’m the total opposite when it comes to girls. I freaking love most chicks, I swear. On the weekend, I got close to a new friend of mine and then met another mutual friend at a gatho we were having. The girl I’m now good friends with is baptist and 100% straight, but she’s got a stellar personality so I low key got a bit of a crush on her. Then I met the mutual friend, who is also gay, and we gelled really well and shared an Uber home and so I developed a little crush on her (she has a gf though, so no hopes and I’m no home wrecker). 

Anyway, long winded and unnecessary story, but my point is: WHY DO I SHUT OUT AND GET SCARED OF ALL GUYS BUT FALL IN LOVE WITH 50% of the girls I meet?? 

It’s so annoying. I love girls more, but I’d rather date a guy for various reasons. I’m scared of guys, but I have no reason to be. Meanwhile, I’ve been sexually assaulted by a woman and I’m not scared of women at all.

Just...like...what?...why?...why does my brain do this???? Can anything ever just be easy??? No? Cool

 

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I’m irrationally scared of men getting close to me. Like, I’m panromantic demisexual (wow am I the poster girl for tumblr yet?) so I do like men and think they are physically and aesthetically attractive. Yet, whenever I have guys come onto me, I clam up sooooo bad. Right now, for instance, a friend of mine has been flirting with me. At first, I thought he was just kidding around with friendly banter (because I thought he was still with his girlfriend). This afternoon though, he made a comment about me being beautiful inside and out (which was random because all I said was that if he made YouTube videos, I would watch them). So, I double checked his FB profile and saw it said he was single (I had no idea they broke up. They were together like 5 years). Now, I don’t know how to feel. If he is flirting, I’m super flattered because he’s a really sweet and attractive guy. But also, it makes me just not want to go around him because I feel too awkward.

On the other hand, though, I’m the total opposite when it comes to girls. I freaking love most chicks, I swear. On the weekend, I got close to a new friend of mine and then met another mutual friend at a gatho we were having. The girl I’m now good friends with is baptist and 100% straight, but she’s got a stellar personality so I low key got a bit of a crush on her. Then I met the mutual friend, who is also gay, and we gelled really well and shared an Uber home and so I developed a little crush on her (she has a gf though, so no hopes and I’m no home wrecker). 

Anyway, long winded and unnecessary story, but my point is: WHY DO I SHUT OUT AND GET SCARED OF ALL GUYS BUT FALL IN LOVE WITH 50% of the girls I meet?? 

It’s so annoying. I love girls more, but I’d rather date a guy for various reasons. I’m scared of guys, but I have no reason to be. Meanwhile, I’ve been sexually assaulted by a woman and I’m not scared of women at all.

Just...like...what?...why?...why does my brain do this???? Can anything ever just be easy??? No? Cool

 

 

Yo, I'm the same with dudes. I don't get it either. I've never been popular with guys (at least not that I'm aware of). I've always been popular with girls though. I've been getting more male attention lately and it makes me... ick. Whenever a guy shows even minor interest in me I totally shut them down. 

I kinda worry sometimes that there's something wrong with me because guys never seem interested, or at least never act on their interest towards me. I've been single for a long time now. Dating just feels like something that might never happen, although pretty sure that's a lie. My exes always made me feel like I was never good enough and always tried to change me, so I guess that's part of why I feel this way. Whenever guys have been interested, especially on dating apps, I can feel their interest in me totally drain the second they get to know me. 

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My best friend was abused by her husband she was forced to marry right after high school.
ten years later her divorce is finally finalized! I'm so happy that she's free from that hell hole!

that's definitely happy news. but my *ranty* brain is so mad that she feels like she's a damaged/worthless woman now because of the simple fact that she's divorced. I keep reminding her that she is so amazing and strong and beautiful! She's been in therapy a lot and is doing a lot better and moving on with her life.

but like even my mom felt that way when she got divorced from my dad.

It's a common thing to get divorced now, can our women who have suffered please stop feeling the guilt from social pressure to be a "perfect woman" and instead see how strong and beautiful you all are?! a divorce does not make you less than! period! 

Just wanted to remind everyone on PULL, you are worthy and your life is beautiful and you are cherished!
Spread the love because most of us are all hurting inside but also hiding it well.
:alpacacrush:

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Forced? Did she have no other choice but to marry him?

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Posted (edited)

Forced? Did she have no other choice but to marry him?

 

It was forced by her parents, they took her back to their home country the summer after graduation for a "family trip" 
Once there they told her to "choose" a husband from the 2 childhood friends she used to have that her parents chose. (and then came back to North America with her new husband)

She was always a good girl, i was the more rebellious one who would always try to tell her that her parents are being to harsh and if it goes too far, she can always run away with me. I was so mad when i found out she got married and i wasnt even there for her. He even seemed like the nicest guy, was handsome and liked to buy her things. but if another guy would look at her he would dig his fingers into her back and send her home. he beat her so much for things that werent her fault (of course none of that is ever her fault or deserved)

Edited by tjonblast
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if divorce was legal in my country i would have already told my mom a long time ago to divorce my dad. i've had enough with his shits, speaking of dad how i wish i can just buy a sleeping pill and give it to him whenever his drunk. it's really annoying to listen to him talk this and that, i can't ignore him cos their room is near mine and his voice is loud.

i need a therapist but nobody is willing to let me go to one. when your feelings and opinions are disregarded.

edit (i need to add something): JFC STOP SAYING “THIS IS YOUR HOUSE” ALL THE FUCKING TIME COS THIS WAS NEVER YOUR HOUSE, YOU DON'T OWN IT COS YOUR NAME ISN'T EVEN WRITTEN ON THE PAPERS. IT IS YOUR PARENTS (MY GRANDPARENTS) HOUSE YOU DUMBASS, STOP TAKING A HOUSE THAT ISN'T EVEN YOURS EVER. YOU'RE A SELFISH, EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE FATHER/HUSBAND AND IDEK WHY TF YOU BECOME MY FATHER IN THE FIRST PLACE. STOP TALKING AND LET US SLEEP DAMN IT! ps: capslock cos i'm that pissed off rn

Edited by blvck
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if divorce was legal in my country i would have already told my mom a long time ago to divorce my dad. i've had enough with his shits, speaking of dad how i wish i can just buy a sleeping pill and give it to him whenever his drunk. it's really annoying to listen to him talk this and that, i can't ignore him cos their room is near mine and his voice is loud.

i need a therapist but nobody is willing to let me go to one. when your feelings and opinions are disregarded.

 

hey that really sucks and i hear you on that! my dad was/is a useless drunk and my mom only divorced him when HE wanted it and I was already 18yo then so I was happy to get rid of his annoying bipolar alcoholic ass. honestly our lives have only improved since he left! 

Will you be able to move out on your own or with a friend/roommate soon? 

I'm here if you wanna talk, send me a PM we can be penpals <3 everyone needs an outlet

Edited by tjonblast
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Been wanting to lose some weight before my bday so I can really dig in on cake LOL.

so yeah. 4 weeks at it. Felt motivated, 1200 cal a day not binged even once which Ive had issues with since I was little. So was pretty proud.

Excersized more. Yesterday even a 3 hour bike ride and 1 hour hike, day before that 4 hour bike ride plus 2 hour hike.

Result? 2.5 kg gained. Thanks so fucking much you stupid ass body. Yesterday I decided fuck it all and ate 1900 calories. Results? Almost a kilo gained again.

I honestly want to cry now I worked so fucking hard only to gain weight.  And I am NO WHERE NEAR underweight.

Edited by Kiko
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I'm so fucking disgusted by Amber Heard, she abused J.D too but made herself appear as the only victim. This case is so fucked up.

Edited by Ghuleh
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i feel so fucking mad, my phone and other 4 family member's phones were robbed two days ago, i may have to wait a long time ( i am talking about probably a year) to get a new one because the economic crisis of my country, i feel lucky because when they robbed the phones my parents were not hurt or anything, but it's pointsless going to the police because they NEVER do anything about it, they steal almost everything that was in the car we calculate about 2000$ in lost, this country it's getting shittier and shittier, all you guys have so much privilege (im not mad about that but people should recognize that they take so many things for granted) these days were a total caos, there was a national blackout for around 3 days, no water, horrible situation, hospitals were affected and people died, every time you go to the street there were very long lines to buy food and candles, the people were desesperate, i wish my life was easier, but i have to suck it up, i don't have a phone now but  at least i  didn't lose a family member because when they were getting surgery the ligthts went off and they lost their lives, it's sad and now the only luxury item i had that bring me a little bit of joy and comodity is gone. sorry for my grammar i'm not a native english speaker. 

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i feel so fucking mad, my phone and other 4 family member's phones were robbed two days ago, i may have to wait a long time ( i am talking about probably a year) to get a new one because the economic crisis of my country, i feel lucky because when they robbed the phones my parents were not hurt or anything, but it's pointsless going to the police because they NEVER do anything about it, they steal almost everything that was in the car we calculate about 2000$ in lost, this country it's getting shittier and shittier, all you guys have so much privilege (im not mad about that but people should recognize that they take so many things for granted) these days were a total caos, there was a national blackout for around 3 days, no water, horrible situation, hospitals were affected and people died, every time you go to the street there were very long lines to buy food and candles, the people were desesperate, i wish my life was easier, but i have to suck it up, i don't have a phone now but  at least i  didn't lose a family member because when they were getting surgery the ligthts went off and they lost their lives, it's sad and now the only luxury item i had that bring me a little bit of joy and comodity is gone. sorry for my grammar i'm not a native english speaker. 

 

What country do you live in?

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What country do you live in?

 

Venezuela 

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i feel so fucking mad, my phone and other 4 family member's phones were robbed two days ago, i may have to wait a long time ( i am talking about probably a year) to get a new one because the economic crisis of my country, i feel lucky because when they robbed the phones my parents were not hurt or anything, but it's pointsless going to the police because they NEVER do anything about it, they steal almost everything that was in the car we calculate about 2000$ in lost, this country it's getting shittier and shittier, all you guys have so much privilege (im not mad about that but people should recognize that they take so many things for granted) these days were a total caos, there was a national blackout for around 3 days, no water, horrible situation, hospitals were affected and people died, every time you go to the street there were very long lines to buy food and candles, the people were desesperate, i wish my life was easier, but i have to suck it up, i don't have a phone now but  at least i  didn't lose a family member because when they were getting surgery the ligthts went off and they lost their lives, it's sad and now the only luxury item i had that bring me a little bit of joy and comodity is gone. sorry for my grammar i'm not a native english speaker. 

 

i assume you live in venezuela? i hope you and your family stay safe and that the situation starts getting better soon.

i agree, you really don't know what you have until it gets taken away from you :alpacadone: wishing you all the best

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Posted (edited)

What country do you live in?

 

She's talking about a national blackout that lasted three days, so it's most likely Venezuela.

@Jane I'm sorry for what happened to you and your family. I hope the situation in Venezuela will eventually improve (although it's not looking too great right now – your country's government is clearly bonkers) or that you will at least manage to get out of Venezuela if you have the possibility to

Edited by JunkFood
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i assume you live in venezuela? i hope you and your family stay safe and that the situation starts getting better soon.

i agree, you really don't know what you have until it gets taken away from you :alpacadone: wishing you all the best

 

thanks for your kind words wishing all the best too :alpacacrush:, i am waiting to get my college degree to leave in the meanwhile i hope that at least the dictator that's now governing dies in pain (i know it sounds extreme but when you live this hell your perspective changes)  for all the damage he has done to all venezuelans.

She's talking about a national blackout that lasted three days, so it's most likely Venezuela.

@Jane I'm sorry for what happened to you and your family. I hope the situation in Venezuela will eventually improve (although it's not looking too great right now – your country's government is clearly bonkers) or that you will at least manage to get out of Venezuela if you have the possibility to

 

thank you for your words, i will definitely leave when i graduate, but i wish that the country recovers because its just sad when the place where you grow up it's just so broken and you can't do anything to save it. 

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