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501 posts in this topic

Posted

i'm sorry you both went through a lot of crap..there's not much you can do about your past since it's the past buuut since you've realized your mistakes it's never too late to apologize. From what you've mentioned she sounds like an understanding friend so just try to talk to her about it. It may not be easy at first but I think you'll feel a lot better afterwards :alpacacrush:

Thank you :) I'm chill about my past because I feel like it must have been karma for how I was. I have apologized, she insists it's fine. But I think it's just something I've got to prove with my actions from now and pay her back as best I can. Talking to people is always difficult for me and I want to not be so distant to those who care for me. Thanks again for the advice! ^_^

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I'm a terrible person for think of doing this.. but two semesters ago i did so badly that my GPA dropped to .33 and FASFA is now refusing to pay for my classes(of course why would they right).. and now i want to go back and go towards my career goal but i have to pay out of pocket now and thats 147$ per month which i cannot in any fucking way afford. So theres an appeal i can fill out that will excuse the shitty semester if i can prove i was going through 'something' that caused me to not do so good. My grandpa's mother died during that semester(although i did cry about this for a while) i was going to play up how bad it made me feel so that they can excuse that semester... so im literally using someones death just so i can benefit myself. And i cant believe im actually going to do this, i did a silent prayer to her so that shell some how forgive me for being so disgusting. But i want to go back to school.

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Thank you :) I'm chill about my past because I feel like it must have been karma for how I was. I have apologized, she insists it's fine. But I think it's just something I've got to prove with my actions from now and pay her back as best I can. Talking to people is always difficult for me and I want to not be so distant to those who care for me. Thanks again for the advice! ^_^

 

That's great!! I know it's hard to talk to people but it sounds like you've already overcame the hardest part in acknowledging your mistakes and apologizing/trying to make up for them :)

I met this awesome dude at the rock concert last year. I was having the time of my life so I invited him to join and dance with me. 

I wasn't into him but he probably thought I was flirting with him. At the end of a concert we started holding hands and whatnot, atmosphere got somewhat romantic lmao. I felt NOTHING but continued hugging him probably just because I really needed someone to hold me(my family is very emotionally cold and I've always felt touch deprived).

We exchanged numers, I promised to meet him again but when I got home I realised I don't want to give him false hope so I just didn't answer his texts. He kept texting me for like 4 days. I felt like an absolute dick.

I just have super low self esteem and could not possibly have a healthy relationship. I've also ignored a couple of guys in the past and I feel so bad about it, they probably think I'm an arrogant bitch but tbh I hate myself and don't want to drag them down with me. I'm good at pretending to be happy and chill but at the end of the day I want to come home and enjoy being a lonely miserable fuck bc I don't think I deserve to be happy bc I'm a self destructive dumbass.

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oouch. This hit home for me all too well! I also have the same problem 99.9% of the time with guys. Anytime someone likes me I NEVER have any romantic feelings back so I usually try to cut things off/end it before it can even begin. I'm sure a lot of them think I'm heartless but in reality I don't want to lead them on or burden them. I'm not really sure what to tell you other than good luck and as silly/lame as it sounds..be true to yourself. :alpacaworry:

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When I was younger, I was hardcore into the cosplay community and I wanted to be cos-famous. I looked up to such amazing cosplayers as Jessica Nigri, Momosweetcosplay, Venus Angelic, ect. I actually wanted to be like them, particularly Momo.

 

 

I seriously thought this was a troll for a sec :hurrplz:

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I didn't hand in most of my Australian history assignments in year 10

I didn't hand in a geography assignment in year 7 (Granted my dad's computer crashed and wiped the hard drive, I just never did it again)

I didn't hand in a geography (or was it history?) assignment in year 8 

I didn't hand in an english assignment in year 11. Hell I don't think I started that one.

Also I said I had a mirgane every cross country carnival in High school because I hate running.

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when i first got into kpop i went through that koreaboo phase, i would lie and say that i was 14% korean and i would non stop write in korea it was cringy and sad

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Posted (edited)

This isn't really an embarrassing or shocking story, but it's something I never told to anyone. Because of all the photoshopped, semi-perfect snowflakes we see in this website, as well beauty standards that do not correspond to our looks, I've noticed that some girls feel their appearance is inferior to the snowflakes, so here's a story that perhaps might help you feel better about yourself:

When I was a kid, I was going through an outstandingly bad time. I do not feel comfortable to give details but I was a really traumatized child, so that made vulnerable to bullying from my classmates. Basically, my only friend was this girl who was also bullied (however, she was bullied because of her health issues & mental conditions) and we both envied the most popular girl in our class. She was tall, blonde and had blue eyes, every girl wanted to be her friend and treated her really nicely... As for us, we are really short, skinny, dark hair and dark eyes, pale, etc. When others wouldn't make fun of us, we were simply ignored.

I assumed that if I were blonde and had blue eyes too, I would be popular as well. I had very low self-esteem, so I begged my mother to let me dye my hair, and then perhaps get some blue contacts. Of course, she didn't allow me to do those things (I was only 7 y.o). I told my issues to my aunt and cousin and they went with me to the supermarket so we could buy one of those non-permanent hair dyes. I kid you not, the moment my cousin was dyeing my hair I was crying because I felt that my life was about to change for the better. Unfortunately, my father showed up, he yelled at me and my cousin+aunt and I had to spend a long time washing my hair until most of it would come off. I returned to my old self-esteem issues and they would only disappear many years after.

Today, I am proud of my looks and in no way do I intend to dye my hair blonde or use blue contacts. I love my looks because they make me stand out from everybody else, especially when you live in a country that is obsessed with tanning, blonde hair, voluptuous bodies, etc. I know I still don't correspond to the beauty ideals here in my country but they do somewhere else. You know the old saying, the grass is always greener on the other side. So yeah, not wishing to bring those over-used 'love yourself' mantras, but I do think you must appreciate your real identity, highlight your best features if you will, but don't pretend to be someone you're not :)

Edited by Nusha
wrong pronouns haha
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Posted (edited)

I was constantly bullied or simply ignored at school, so I, unconsciously, retaliated on other people. There was this kid, for example, who was my neighbor and he was 4 years younger than me, and I was so mean to him! He was scared of everything so me and my friends told him there were ghosts in our building and that we could see them. Sometimes we even dressed up in a creepy way, putting scary make up on to get him unprepared. He cried every time we did that... :(Now, he's almost an adult and we are still in touch, and he admitted he was kind of traumatized with all those things we used to do with him, which made me feel so guilty. But I'm glad he doesn't hold grudges. haha 

Edited by SquidWardComplex
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Edited by who
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when i first got into kpop i went through that koreaboo phase, i would lie and say that i was 14% korean and i would non stop write in korea it was cringy and sad

 

oh god, can I relate! I never lied about being part Korean (despite it being true, although it's a small part on my mom's side) but I was a major koreaboo. I'm glad that I'm not extroverted and mostly kept it to my tumblr during that phase. I still cringe whenever I think about it.

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I've sabotaged people plenty of times before, I'm not proud of it. I knew this girl when i was a young teenager and we were never close and she became a HUGE sjw to the point of insanity. Anyway so we played games together occasionally because her bf was lonely and needed people to play with so we let him in, i let him make friends with everyone I knew on the game and then a year or so after, this disgusting sjw joins and of course the two get on like a house on fire, the boyfriend was always a pathetic little sponge who would never stand up for himself. This girl walked all over him and he wasn't a bad guy, he even admitted to dreaming about me (yeah lol) every week which was interesting but anyway. The group of friends were 99% guys, all fairly normal guys you know, stupid casual racism, name calilng etc, now the sjw twins didnt like that so everyone tried to be nice to them and tone it all down but nope, anything was offensive to them, they even reported a guy for a poor taste character name he made when he was 13 and didnt want to pay real money to change but no, they would bitch about them constantly. Anyway one day we're all chatting fine and *new* sjw makes a bad joke, someone says its not funny so they immediately insult the shit out of him, and sjw #2 joins in berating him. I tell them to all shut the fuck up and log off. The next day I ask what the fuck is wrong with them, the boyfriend just doesnt reply because he's a massive fucking pussy. The girl tries the victim complex and then later that day they both delete me even though THEY were in the wrong so I went off my nut at them calling her an evil control freak and him a fucking pussy minion with no soul. I honestly wish I could punch them both in their miserable faces, I'm glad they're struggling with life cause thats all they fucking deserve. I confess to bad mouthing them around the game constantly so they server change and name change just to avoid us :) 

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.

Edited by glitter
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I used to be a terrible person. Violent, unpredictable, prone to outbursts, and crassly ignorant of anyone else. One could say I ventured beyond the valley of sheer bitchiness and straight down the beaten pathway of snowflakehood, or worse.

When I was sixteen and seventeen, I underwent worse abuse than what I could've fathomed, by someone who was supposed to love me, and it brought me to a state of such embittering pain that I began to lash out at others. I myself became the monster whom I'd condemned for brash and cruel actions. It was partially influenced by a mental issue that at the time, I had no idea what it was, but I'd been regularly shifting around since I was fifteen or so. If I ever met my younger self, even her traumatized state couldn't deter me from slapping her. She not only seemed like a different person entirely: constantly attempting absolution of blame, pettily self victimizing for the sake of attention, pretending to portray a character to deter from reality, she resembled a goddamn possessive spirit I would've fucking loved to exorcize from my form.

and I am so relieved that I managed to seek proper help, medication, further counseling, and regained insight as to my situation at the time, in order to move towards progressive self improvement. Can't say there aren't still times where I don't feel like being a vindicative little twat (hell that's what this account is for) or a backstabbing bitch, but the fact that I'm not actively hurting people has brought me so much betterment, and I hope to never revert to my younger state. My doctors diagnosed me as bpd and possibly bipolar, but drugs and therapy do wonders as well as environmental change. Lately I do feel some of that furiousity creeping beneath my skin but I'll do my damndest to stop it from ever coming to fuckin fruition.

Edited by saburoro
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Posted (edited)

nope

 

 

Edited by Lopunny
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So...

 

I have a ton of self-hate for myself. Like, maybe if you saw me, you'd think I'm just a regular joe, but I actually really don't like myself. I find it really hard to convince myself, so I don't. I just go through life, kinda goalless or aimlessly. I don't wanna be the person who blames their circumstance, but I am. I hate that I don't have a dad, a good childhood, or how I'm not from a well-off family. My home life isn't shit, but it's not ideal. I have flirted with the idea of moving out because I feel better by my lonesome and I can wallow better that way since most of my grief did come from home. 

Like, I hate that I hate myself because people can tell (I feel). I hate telling people what I really like or what I really want to do because I feel they doubt I can actually have a good life that way. I would love to be a Youtuber/Dancer/Graphic Designer or Artist. I have loved the idea of working for myself and film. I want to tell stories and I LOVE dance. But I feel if I told anyone about it, they'd judge me and all that. So I keep all my shit inside... and it's honestly killing me.

Edited by pullster
eh
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