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551 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

more fights in the last few days

god every single time I just feel so awful, I briefly relapsed smoking again to try and avoid other maladaptive forms of coping

constantly getting shitted on for getting upset about anything as if im not allowed to have emotions and no matter how fast my recovery time is it's not good enough for anyone

if they can't see im trying then that sucks for them, i am trying, i can't just act like an emotionless or happy husk all the time, sorry

Edited by randou
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My ex drunkenly confessed he loved me and it scared the shit out of him and I ghosted him a few days later. He was cheating (inviting Tinder women over when I wasn't there) and I don't feel bad about it at all.

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My ex drunkenly confessed he loved me and it scared the shit out of him and I ghosted him a few days later. He was cheating (inviting Tinder women over when I wasn't there) and I don't feel bad about it at all.

 

That's wild, girl. You're better off. He deserved to be ghosted if he cheated like that! The nerve.

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i think ive made it pretty obvious that i like him. but im sure it isnt reciprocated. sad

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i just uploaded a video on yt and i feel like such a lame loser it's taking everything in me to not just delete it and pretend it never happened :'-)

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For a few weeks now, I keep imagining my death and I can't help but think that people would be better off without me. I just feel like I have no purpose in life and I might as well rot in the ground instead of taking up space.

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I met a classmate from my former college as an anime figure vendor at a convention. He started asking me if I was going to take classes next semester and what they were so we'd get the same ones (I could tell he had some feelings for me back then as he'd always stare at me no matter where I sat in class and was nervous talking to me). I told him I graduated last spring and he kind of frowned. 

Then he scammed me an extra 8$ for an anime figure for "taxes". I get that California has an insane tax percentage but I was literally paying with cash for something worth 30$ at a convention. Now my impression of him as a chill guy with similar nerd interests has soured into a shady dealer.

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So um it's been about 5 months since I've stopped talking to a friend who I considered almost as a best friend to me. I've been trying my best to be there for her ever since she had her first break up. Everytime we hung out I would drive atleast an hour to go see her and come back. Whenever she called me I would pick up and talk to her. But lately I've started to focus on myself more due to health issues and frequent doctor visits. I started to take atleast 2 or 3 days to reply to her messages because she always send me long long messages. And I feel like it's rude to just reply with a few sentences so that's why I usually wait until I'm not busy to have a clear mind to reply back. She got really bothered by my slow replies and told me that she felt like I wasnt putting in any effort into our friendship and that I made her felt unimportant. I told her my reason for not replying much was due to my health issues that I wanted to focus on taking care of first and she told me that it doesnt hurt for me to let her know when I'm busy and will reply back and I told her I've already told her many times not to take it personally when I dont reply right away. I'm usually busy or tired and catching up on sleep. But anyways I just got really turned off by her being clingy and selfish. I had always gone out of my way for her and whenever I ask her for something shes always skeptical and questioning me about it. I just started feeling very drained from her and eventually stopped reading and replying to her messages. Basically you can say I kind of ghosted her. So it's been months since we've last talk. Sometimes I kinda feel guilty for not saying anything and just ignoring her but at the same time it's been good not having to sit there and listen to her complain about the same thing over and over to me. She never asks me anything about myself tbh. Whenever we hang out it was always about her tinder dates and search for a sugar daddy. 

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I'm doing an online casting for a show I would love to be in, I'm so fucking nervous, I cant make up my mind to even plan the pics.

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I'm doing an online casting for a show I would love to be in, I'm so fucking nervous, I cant make up my mind to even plan the pics.

 

Good luck!!!!

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I want a baby because I can’t stand ppl around me no more; not even my closest friends. I feel like I’d rather put energy into a little person that needs me and thinks of me of the greatest person ever.

now I know they’ll grow up and would rather be with their friends and significant other, but in this moment I just want a little one.

I know this sounds selfish af, but that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. And even though I want a little one, I know I’m not ready yet so I’m not going to bring life into this world just yet... 

 

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Posted (edited)

.

Edited by Satanael
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Good luck!!!!

 

Thank you so much 😭♥️

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Posted (edited)

-

Edited by Kensington
Um
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.

Edited by Satanael
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