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559 posts in this topic

Posted

Finally garnered up the courage to leave my dads house and move into my mom's. It's no ideal situation, and half my stuff is still at my dad's, but I did what I needed to do to get away from that toxic environment around my sister and in order to focus mending my own mental health.

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I prefer instant meals opposed to home made cooking simply because that way it is a lot easier for me to keep track of the calories I consume.

If I´d cook with fresh ingredients I would obsessively weigh every and each item and have to count the calories in every miniscule ingrediënt and after the meal is done, then AGAIN count the calories if I take from a large pan. it is so exhausting and stressing. I can cook for other people without issues but I´d rather not when its just for me. it just is not worth the effort for me. I just prefer a dinner I can put in the oven that says ´´400 calories´´ on the front and honesty, the higher quality brands taste just as good. no math. no stress. done.

 

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I nut on my hand and then clap.

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I prefer instant meals opposed to home made cooking simply because that way it is a lot easier for me to keep track of the calories I consume.

If I´d cook with fresh ingredients I would obsessively weigh every and each item and have to count the calories in every miniscule ingrediënt and after the meal is done, then AGAIN count the calories if I take from a large pan. it is so exhausting and stressing. I can cook for other people without issues but I´d rather not when its just for me. it just is not worth the effort for me. I just prefer a dinner I can put in the oven that says ´´400 calories´´ on the front and honesty, the higher quality brands taste just as good. no math. no stress. done.

 

 

Partially the same. Except I can't cook. I hate the idea of insanely counting calories so I mentally kind of sum up, albeit very badly sum up, what I think I consume in my head. Usually it's smaller lunches/larger dinners which somehow, somehow doesn't make me gain, even though it probably should be larger lunch smaller dinner. I do sprinkle snacks that are "relatively" healthy (those small cheese nut and cranberry containers, yogurt, etc) after my lunch. It's much easier just to eat premade stuff because then I know the vague amount of portion and food I'm eating and I don't have to guess. 

Im not even an obsessive calorie counter, but even with my estimates it's just a lot easier and simplistic to eat premade stuff for lunch because then I'm not wasting too much time making food

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I've got a huge missing-out syndrome which is why I can almost never be happy for my friends if they are doing something exciting. I honestly feel bad for replying so annoyed when they are just trying to tell me about this really cool thing they are doing right now. I genuinely would like to feel happy for them, but I just can't bring myself to. I guess I just love to pity myself in these situations.

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This week has made me want to rip my hair out by the roots

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Posted

Nobody:

Hero:  

I nut on my hand and then clap.

 

Sorry for derailind, I had to lmao. Don't mean any disrespect.

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Posted (edited)

I´ve been wanting to do a ancestrydna test simply for finding out what kind of diseases I´m prone to, but as I couldn´t care less about if I´m 1% czech, 1% english I feel like it would be more a waste of money. and I´m also afraid of what the results could be. there seems to be nothing major running in my family but you never know.

I like painting by the number but on the other hand I do not like it simply because I am not ACTUALLY the one painting it, and not imporving any skills.

Edited by Kiko
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i'm treated as an object by my parents. i can't have my own opinion or even have the right to correct them when they're wrong. i'm also an emotional punching bag for my mom. my feelings aren't valid and just disregarded. my parents are emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive.

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TW// Physical Abuse, Death

I feel really bad for saying this, but my grandfather is really ill and i feel like he's going to die soon. The worst part is that I won't be sad when he does... he used to be really abusive to my mom and my grandma when my mom was younger. He's stopped being abusive to them a long time ago however up until he went blind recently he had been drinking and spending all of my grandmas money on alcohol. My mom still thinks he's a good dad and claims he only hit her out of love. I think he's a douchebag and my mom needs to go to therapy. I was recently forced to talk to him over the phone (my grandparents live in another country) and my whole family talked to him before me and were crying... I don't get it, have they forgotten the years of trauma this man has put our family through, the years my grandma was stuck  basically working her ass off to provide for her family, cooking and cleaning all damn day while he was out drinking sleeping with women. My grandma is the most precious, most selfless person in the world and he took advantage of that. I can't bring myself to feel bad for him. Sorry for the tangent, I just wanted to get this off my chest. 

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Posted (edited)

i'm having a sexual orientation crisis. i don't know if i'm straight or not. i might be bi, but i have no idea. i'm scared my parents will find out i'm into girls too. my sister's supportive, but they will kill me if the find out. i'm not scared, i'm terrified.

Edited by nokjae
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Since my grammar in English sucks I am half-way obsessed with the spelling. I would never sent a text with spelling mistakes, because I would feel really bothered by it

I love characters I hate in real life lol

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i'm having a sexual orientation crisis. i don't know if i'm straight or not. i might be bi, but i have no idea. i'm scared my parents will find out i'm into girls too. my sister's supportive, but they will kill me if the find out. i'm not scared, i'm terrified.

 

they don't have a choice on that bc that's your decision and life not theirs. either they accept it or not it's not their say. i wish i can say the same for my parents but they aren't exactly the listening and understanding type plus i'm just an object for them.

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I wish I had small boobs or was flat chested cause I just really really hate bras. Hate wearing them cause I'm never comfortable in them. 

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I've been having this on and off chest ache. It's dull, but makes it harder to breathe, and I feel like I'm wheezing through my mouth and nose somewhat loudly to try and compensate for the way the pain affects my breathing. The entirety of my shift at work yesterday was affected by this, I took two aspirins. I inhaled some smelly herbal stuff. My lungs felt clearer and less inflamed when I did. I hoped it was gone. Then I woke up last night at 3am and I had trouble breathing steadily for like 30 mins to an hour before I was able to calm down, and try and sleep. Today it's back, still dull. It's ever so inhibiting enough that I'm afraid I'm going to stop breathing altogether if it worsens.

maybe Im being a hypochondriac, if I go to the doctor they're just going to say "it's anxiety/mania/mental problems causing it" and dismiss me. Any type of test that I could get to see what's wrong, including internalized xrays would cost thousands and I've already been to the hospital once this year, so it's not like I need to cost myself or anyone else more money, my dads already proclaimed I'm not receiving any birthday money or presents from him due to the amount the last hospital visit cost, so I'm fuckin' avoiding it like the plague, if I have a heart attack or seizure or something severe, either I'll die or have no choice to go back, until then I guess I'll live in pain while this keeps going on since it's only somewhat inhibiting to my functionality 

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