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Dropping out of college

11 posts in this topic

Posted

So lately I've been debating dropping out of college. I was wondering if anybody had any experience with doing that. If so, do you regret it? How has your life changed after dropping out? Etc

Background info for why I am contemplating dropping out is under the spoiler(it's a long read, beware)

When I started college last year I loved my course and it was exactly like I pictured. I was fairing well academically and I thought I was well adjusted. I found it really hard to make friends in my first year and I still do now that I'm in my second year. This year I even joined a club to try and make friends but all that did was take a toll on my mental health and it stressed me out too much.

In general, 2016 thus far has not gone well; many negative things have happened including friendship problems, abusive relationships, and overall I have not been living up to the academic standard I had in the previous year. I have been finding it extremely difficult to get the grades I want - I study my ass off and I do all of my assignments to my best ability but I still find that I'm failing certain subjects or I'm just scraping by.

So part of my college major is a year abroad to study in the country of our chosen language. I was the first person to apply for my preferred country and I got my application in early, however, a few weeks prior to the application date my lecturer informed me that I couldn't go and she was giving somebody else my place. She never stated any reasons as to why I couldn't go but I was okay with it in the beginning.  The only problem with it was, I would be the only girl going to this place and the other people going to this university were not close with me and I found it really hard to open up and talk to them. 

In general, I have found it unusually hard to make friends with my classmates, I normally have no trouble talking to people or making new friends but this class is very clique-y and some people in it have said to my face that they're glad I'm not going to be attending the same partner university as them because I'm too "awkward" and that it's really hard to have fun with me. 

The application process for my new college did not go so well either - I asked for  help from classmates(and also my lecturer) but I was continuously ignored and I ended up making a botched online application which unfortunately may not be able to be rectified. 

(tl;dr) Overall this whole year has not being going well for me and I just don't want to deal with the stress anymore, I find that I'm not longer enjoying my college course and I'd like to find something new to do. I am considering going to a language school in pursuit of another language I genuinely enjoy. My country has a limit to which languages are available to study - none of which are my REAL preferred language. I still want to experience going abroad to study but with my university, I'm just not feeling it anymore.

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So lately I've been debating dropping out of college. I was wondering if anybody had any experience with doing that. If so, do you regret it? How has your life changed after dropping out? Etc

Background info for why I am contemplating dropping out is under the spoiler(it's a long read, beware)

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(tl;dr) Overall this whole year has not being going well for me and I just don't want to deal with the stress anymore, I find that I'm not longer enjoying my college course and I'd like to find something new to do. I am considering going to a language school in pursuit of another language I genuinely enjoy. My country has a limit to which languages are available to study - none of which are my REAL preferred language. I still want to experience going abroad to study but with my university, I'm just not feeling it anymore.

 

I don't understand in full, though I've attempted early college courses and it's a pain imo. Only issue I had was owing money for credit hours, and stuff with my family. I shouldn't have taken the course because I already felt like I was drowning, but after trying these college courses just actually drowned me. I never learned anything I felt from the college course, and it was causing me to ignore my other work, which has caused huge issues now. I'd drop the classes that are causes the most issues, though it's very late in the year atm. I'm sorry about your application and not being able to completely understand, but I just dropped my courses because I lost the passion to continue, which showed in my work being half assed and poor.

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I don't understand in full, though I've attempted early college courses and it's a pain imo. Only issue I had was owing money for credit hours, and stuff with my family. I shouldn't have taken the course because I already felt like I was drowning, but after trying these college courses just actually drowned me. I never learned anything I felt from the college course, and it was causing me to ignore my other work, which has caused huge issues now. I'd drop the classes that are causes the most issues, though it's very late in the year atm. I'm sorry about your application and not being able to completely understand, but I just dropped my courses because I lost the passion to continue, which showed in my work being half assed and poor.

 

Unfortunately in my college I have to take every module/course available - my major specifically doesn't have a class-dropping system :alpacadone:

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Unfortunately in my college I have to take every module/course available - my major specifically doesn't have a class-dropping system :alpacadone:

 

Oh, that sounds horrible. I'm not sure then.:alpacaworry:  I mean, if your work and effort is ultimately effected, then maybe it would be better to drop or try to switch colleges, though switching would sound better. Do you have any family you could ask for help with your application? Because it seems like your lecturer and your peers aren't going to help. I can see how you could easily mess up and application, I've done it too a couple of times(had to stop, using laptop and shut laptop. everything was gone. accidentally submitted an incomplete application to my dream college). I wish you luck though! Or maybe finish out this semester and then start looking for other colleges. Do you have a school counselor that could help you as far as guiding you down the right path?

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Oh, that sounds horrible. I'm not sure then.:alpacaworry:  I mean, if your work and effort is ultimately effected, then maybe it would be better to drop or try to switch colleges, though switching would sound better. Do you have any family you could ask for help with your application? Because it seems like your lecturer and your peers aren't going to help. I can see how you could easily mess up and application, I've done it too a couple of times(had to stop, using laptop and shut laptop. everything was gone. accidentally submitted an incomplete application to my dream college). I wish you luck though! Or maybe finish out this semester and then start looking for other colleges. Do you have a school counselor that could help you as far as guiding you down the right path?

 

Thank you for your help and advice anyway! We have a counsellor that is almost always booked out. I've decided that I'm going to keep going and finish my exams this year and depending on my results and how I feel I'm going to transfer or take a year out and maybe study something else :lamaheadshake:

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I dropped out of college about 2 years ago - and while I also regret that decision it was also a really good decision regarding my mental health. 

My story underneath spoiler :

My first year of college was great. I graduated high school early and ended up going to the state college at age 17. I was on a full ride academic merit scholarship so I had to take 15+ credits and pass them to keep my money. I was really scared I wasn't going to fit in because I was so young but I quickly made some really great friends. I was in the Honors Program and I did well in all my classes. I dyed my hair crazy colors and spent weekends playing video games with my roommate. At the end of the year, I signed up for a study abroad in Japan. Japan had nothing to do with my major (Media Arts), but I figure... why not? I was taking Japanese as my language requirements and my father's mother was from Japan and she would be so proud if I went (my father has been in jail my whole life so I never really spent time with any of my father's family). 

I get accepted and I get all my stuff ready to go. I go to Japan and make friends and get a little too crazy with drinking (just pretend you speak no Japanese and they won't card you at the grocery store). Despite me going butt wild, I was doing well in my classes... extremely well. EXCEPT... my Japanese language class.

I'm not going into great detail about my incident with my Sensei because, truth be told, I've blocked out most of it. 
Near the end of the semester, I was doing a speaking exercise with my partner in front of the class. We ended up talking into a corner - basically even if we were talking in English, I wouldn't know what to say. I told Sensei that I didn't know what to say (meaning the conversation had come to an end) and he went BALLISTIC on me. 

I had to stand in front of the class and the TAs (one of which was my RA) while Sensei verbally punished me... for almost an entire hour (our classes were 3 hours). The door was open as well so students on break started watching from the hallway. I tried not to cry so hard that I thought I was going to explode.
He told me that I was wasting my potential and that I should stop acting stupid. He went over ever little fault I had in the previous test IN FRONT OF THE CLASS and basically just embarrassed me in front of at least 45 people. After that hour, it was break time and I went to the bathroom and washed my face - still not trying to cry and several of the TAs and my classmates came into the bathroom and hugged me. 
I thought I was overreacting because I have really bad social anxiety but apparently he was completely out of line.
I went back to class and he continued his lecture towards me for another 20 minutes before dismissing us. I went straight home and didn't come out until my RA (who was a TA that day) came to me and told me that a good 20 people reported him for me. 

I ended up having to go into the Dean's office with Sensei and talk it out. Sensei apologized and said that he only yelled at me because he thought I could handle it, and he wanted to set an example for the other students. But the damage was already done and myself (and 3 of my classmates) dropped out of the class resulting in us getting Fs. 

This F... made me loose my scholarship. I petitioned it - considering that was my first F ever and I had a legitimate reason for leaving the class. I had the international coordinator of the Japanese university petition for me as well as my psychiatrist from home (I told her about what happened and for a few months after I was self-harming) but my home university basically said FUCK YOU and took away my 40k scholarship.

I was so angry and jaded and fought for the scholarship back for about 5 months. I even signed up for the same class again with Sensei just to prove that I would make it up. Do they realize how absolutely heartbreaking and destructive that was to do to myself? Gladly, for the next 5 months Sensei did not talk to me anymore and just graded my papers. I think he really did feel sorry. In the end it didn't matter and I had to drop out because I had no money. I legit thought that my life was ruined at this point and ended up having to go under suicide watch for a year or so. 

In hindsight, I really feel like I should have made a bigger scene with the school. It still doesn't feel right what they did to me... especially since my Japanese university (Japan is terrible with mental illnesses) tried to work with me more than my home university.  


Dropping out of college is a good time to find yourself and dedicate a little more time to hobbies. I am starting college again actually... next week! For once, I'm actually excited to go to school! I'm taking the rest of my general ed classes and then kinda doing some more searching to decide what I want to do. I'm debating between going as an indie game developer (actually, almost completely done with my game design document for a project), vet tech, mortuary science, or criminal law (i'm always the first to figure out mysteries so my mom always said i'd be a good detective lel). 

And despite my terrible experience with my teacher, I loved studying abroad. It was so fun and I learned so much about myself. I had experiences that I'll never take back. I highly recommend studying abroad. 

tl;dr If you need to drop out, do it. It's NOT the end of the world, no matter how much it feels like it. You can always go back if you want. 

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Posted (edited)

I left college because I want to attend a trade school. I spent years in college trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life. Honestly, I really didn't feel passion for what I was studying and I was mostly doing it to please my parents. I was even struggling so hard in my classes. I tried switching majors multiple times, still nothing. Finally I realized what I wanted to do in life, and it was nothing that getting a college degree would train me for. For me just staying in college would mean more debt building up and more miserable days.The reason why I stayed so long was because I wanted to please my parents and be like my sister, who is now a doctor. But that just isn't me. I don't regret going to college because I got to try it out and realize how it isn't for me. College is a great experience and is really good, but it just isn't for everyone. We all have passions in life and sometimes it's not found there.

Edited by virgo
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If you really want to do it., go for it. If you have the resources and stuff... I finished university and now a licensed *************** however now that i'm working I realized it's not really my passion. my parents chose my degree and I went with it because they think it's a "bankable" job and with us being not wealthy I decided I should just do as they want me to do. but now I'm earning money (not huge but yeah...) I want to change my career but I don't think I can afford to do it, if you know what I mean... 

 

what i'm saying even if you really want to drop out be smart about it and don't just "jump into a cliff"

Edited by trixchia
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Be smart about it, and make sure it doesn't affect others. Other than that, choose what makes you feel happy.

My sister dropped out... she doesn't want to pay back the loans, and moved far away with her boyfriend. My parents are now dealing with her college loans.  Not a pretty picture... it's very weird, and the fam is mucho sad.

I graduated though. It was a long four years, and I hated school.  I actually started doubting my major, had a bad break up, got kicked out of my home from rebelliousness, and even got an academic probation warning [lots of shit].  However, what I learned was school curriculum is different from real-life job. I started to do something within my major that wasn't even taught at school, and now I got a job from that (even though, my grade is so much lower than everyone else's). What kept me going was the risk factors of dropping out -- loans, family disappointment, and letting myself down.

But yeah, do what makes you happy, but at the same time, think about consequences and if you have follow-up plans that will help prevent them.

You can do it! :)

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Be smart about it, and make sure it doesn't affect others. Other than that, choose what makes you feel happy.

I cannot agree with this more. I think it's important to do what you need to for your mental health but don't leave others to pick up your slack. Stay classy. Also, I dropped out, but I made sure to end my semester with the highest grades possible so as to not screw future-hushhush - which I was super grateful for years later when I was in a happy place and went back to school. Plus, it became super important when I went to grad school. I never would be where I am now if I tried to push through undergrad the first time even though I was super unhappy, but I also wouldn't be in my current happy spot if I had just runaway from my life.  

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Posted (edited)

Better take care of your health and psyche, but at the same time, think about others. How much is your decision to quit college mapping to others? Or maybe you should take a short break? I decided to end the semester when I was in a similar situation. But in the end, I managed only thanks to Edusson Australia; otherwise, I would not be able to complete the assignment. Someone, and most likely, your family in the first place, will discourage you, so once again consider all possible options and analyze the situation.

Edited by Ybrveerisl
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