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Bubzbeauty / Lindy


3338 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Exactly, and saying how shock she was regarding some of the comments and the tone of the comments... What, is she new on the internet? She's a grown woman and yet she still doesn't know the importance of thinking before posting on social media. You can't take back your words once it left your mouth or in this case, posted on social media. "I forgot I have a huge following" is the most ridiculous reason ever. Well then maybe Tim went out so often because he forgot he has a family at home? She used to be one of my role models but this situation really opened my eyes to what sort of person she really is. I'm sorry Bubz, but if you constantly do this to your husband, shaming him in front of everyone, then blaming it on the weather, on your emotions, then I get why he doesn't love you the same. You can't demand for respect from someone you don't respect.

 

I know right! She acts so oblivious and surprised when her husband gets hate. Her forgetting her large following is just an excuse bc she has been a prominent youtuber for the past 10+ years. 

She used to be my role model as well but then I saw through her personality and I realized she's very preachy and ignorant. That being said, I still care about her and her family a whole lot. There are a lot more problematic youtubers than them, they just need to sort out their issues. 

Edited by mizuhara90
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omfg "I forgot I have a huge following" girl PLEASE

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I know right! She acts so oblivious and surprise when her husband gets hate. Her forgetting her large following is just an excuse bc she has been a prominent youtuber for the past 10+ years. 

She used to be my role model as well but then I saw through her personality and I realized she's very preachy and ignorant. That being said, I still care about her and her family a whole lot. There are a lot more problematic youtubers than them, they just need to sort out their issues. 

 

agreed I was in that same boat for many years. I thought lindy was a very positive person that was kind but recently she does seem very preachy and ignorant I personally hate it when she brings religion into the mix and I REALLY HATE IT when issac will be playing with another baby and the another baby is a girl she makes nonstop bf/gf jokes even one time with his cousin and it’s so gross stop sexualizing babies let them be babies and play for god sakes. 

Edited by Dahlia aurora
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agreed I was in that same boat for many years. I thought lindy was a very positive person that was kind but recently she does seem very preachy and ignorant I personally hate it when she brings religion into the mix and I REALLY HATE IT when issac will be playing with another baby and the another baby is a girl she makes nonstop bf/gf jokes even one time with his cousin and it’s so gross stop sexualizing babies let them be babies and play for god sakes. 

 

Oh rightt I remember that! I was also annoyed of those bf/gf jokes like why can't babies be just platonically playing w each other? 

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So I have to take Human Development classes for my majour and one of the classes I had to take is Parenting in Diverse Families. I get a bit of red flags from them because types of abuse is a chunk of the class.

Tbh, they're both being abusive to each other and it's less about who's more in the wrong here and more about the fact that they both don't own up to their problems.

Lindy is being a bit emotionally abusive and it's definitely showcased in this recent ordeal because she probably knows about how much of an influence on her audience she has and that it would have people complaining to Tim. She is taking out the victim-card and now is taking everything back and being very manipulative. Two key symptoms in gaslighting are throwing positive reinforcement after their actions and trying to align people against the other person, both things that Lindy did in this event as she "aired out the laundry" before telling her followers to send Tim good comments.  

Tim is really less emotionally abusive but more showing spousal emotional neglect. He kept going back and forth to HK while Lindy was sick/had kids to take care of and it's to the point that it's very suspicious, like people pointed out. In the article I was reading for a class, a quote about clear cases of emotional neglect fit so well, which was, "So too would a consistent pattern of refusing to spend time with one's partner, preferring instead to engage in a solitary activity". Tim keeps going out to drink and hang with friends and escaping to another country. Every two weeks, he's just gone to a place that Lindy can't reach easily and she's left alone. Along with that, I feel like the support section of the second link describes Lindy's situation right now as well.

Living in a household that is toxic is detrimental to children EVEN when they're not going through it. Even if they're not completely exposed to the toxicity, children are a lot more aware of things like this than you'd think. I have heard of stories of little children (one of them being me) keeping their negative feelings to themselves and bottling it up because they don't want to trouble their parents. Along with that (BUT LETS BE REAL, AS OF RIGHT NOW, LINDY MIGHT KEEP HER PICKET FENCE FACADE ON HER CHILDREN AS WELL, ESPECIALLY WHILE FILMING VLOGS) if the toxicity is at a higher level, the children don't feel emotionally stable and secure in their household and start to close themselves up. Along with that, they're under high levels of stress from the insecurity.

I'm not saying the children are affected AS OF RIGHT NOW (although I wouldn't be surprised if Issac picked up on some weird vibes already), but one day, they'll stop doing youtube and vlogs or not do them as frequently. They can break from the facade then and if the level of toxicity rises, it's going to affect the kids unless they fix their problems or split. My best recommendation right now is a couple/family counselor but there's only so much that they can do, so divorce shouldn't be swept off the table quite yet.

 

Here's a link about spousal emotional neglect from psychology today I cited: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201311/what-is-emotional-neglect

and

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/01/three-signs-you-are-in-an-emotionally-neglectful-relationship/

 

 

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Honestly gotta say it's good that Tim isn't responding. I stopped watching her some time after she had Isaac . I've never liked Tim besides that he's her husband..but honestly he can't say anything that will make it better.

If he apologizes - then he is actually that shitty, if he says she is lying - he crumbles her perfect life and 'exposes her' which will fuck up their income as she won't be seen as this perfect fairytale youtuber. If he ignores it than he doesn't care which makes it worse. Plus likely those are some teens. 

Honestly she needs a psychologist and some reality check. Why not just ask your following to stop insulting your husband, that you love? 

How good is their marriage and how have they decided to be better when they can't even communicate without a mediator (the followers)?? :S

It's not a matter of her not ''letting'' Tim go out. She should just state her opinion and feelings - she feels left out and needs him. Make him take care of the kids maybe in the morning and take them out while you take a nap and him clean the house while you have a brunch with friends, he can then go out and party. It's a matter of whether they can compromise and his priorities. If she never stated any of it it's her damn fault. When my partner always went out with his friend (who is needy) and every day I had to be with both of them and couldn't enjoy time alone I told him. Yes, in the beginning, I didn't say anything and complained to my friends. They told me to state my mind. Then I made it clear that it can't go on like this and we compromised. But it was because he wanted to do it and considered my feelings as he feels awful making me sad for something stupid like that. Some talk and later - whoa, we were happy. :alpacabored: 

Not that hard. 

 

Yup, her followers already saying she is afraid of leaving him because he may do something (posted on this thread) they making her the whole victim when she is being emotionally abusive with him. Nothing he does now will help him. 

 

I completely agree. This is what I've been saying for the last couple of days. Tim isn't the problem if Lindy won't actually communicate. Anyone blindly "taking sides" is contributing to the toxicity she's propelling in her relationship. He's not the abusive one, she is. Who sics their followers on their husband instead of just COMMUNICATING to him.

 

Ikr? It seems to be her fault to me, as I said, she just wont face her problems, instead she milks them on the book  (which she was shamelessly promoting on her stories when this happened, tf?) and then acts like nothing happened, I can't bring myself to like her, she is soooo toxic. 

 

She always does this shit. She spews out her marital problems publicly and then doesn't understand why her followers act out. Like honestly what reaction did she expect?? "Tim was really quiet today" and she doesn't know why?? Uhh maybe bc she publicly humiliated him and he had a plethora of hate comments on his instagram to the point he had to disable commenting. And the fact she had to have a follower notify her about this speaks volumes...great communication btw 9_99_9

She shared her dirty laundry to all her followers for attention, complains when they start commenting and then defends Tim after he was publicly humiliated. Plus, the majority of her followers are young girls meaning they are easily manipulated. She knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted to gain sympathy but also wanted to seem like the bigger person by telling her followers to disregard everything she has said about her marriage a few nights ago and just forget what happened. I know this because this isn't the first time she did this.

If she didn't do it for attention, she would not post this for 500K+ followers to see. "I don't want to portray a perfect marriage" girl we KNOW you don't have a perfect marriage, you have established that every time Tim goes to HK. Not only that, she have made several passive aggressive posts every time he leaves and when her followers question she says she needs her privacy even though she just posted all that for everyone to see. I know this bc this was why I unfollowed her fb. 

I'm sick and tired of her schemes. She did the same thing when a customer made an fb post complaining about her family's restaurant. Her subscribers flocked to send the woman hate (although it was the woman at fault) and afterwards Lindy told her subscribers to forgive and forget blahblahblah you know the drill. Another reason I know she does this for attention bc she has a private facebook, yet she writes all her venting/passive aggressive posts on her main fb. 

She writes posts to garner sympathy and when the targeted person is publicly shamed enough by her subscribers, she tells them to "forgive and forget" and acts like the bigger person. 

 

 

This. If I feel bad for someone its him. He obviously has a drinking problem and she didn't bother to help him, kept denying his problem then just humilliates him like that when things don't go the way she expected? Help him to get out of that maybe? Has that even crossed her damn mind? It's an addiction, hello, thats an illness, its not easy without help and she is obviously not helping by denying then making him get attacked ( I wont buy her 'oMg I dIdNt ReAlIzE mY hUgE fOlLoWiNg!1!!1' girl...

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Hahaha, tiff. Good one.

 

And boy's been on blast several times, and only now he feels bad?

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This. If I feel bad for someone its him. He obviously has a drinking problem and she didn't bother to help him, kept denying his problem then just humilliates him like that when things don't go the way she expected? Help him to get out of that maybe? Has that even crossed her damn mind? It's an addiction, hello, thats an illness, its not easy without help and she is obviously not helping by denying then making him get attacked ( I wont buy her 'oMg I dIdNt ReAlIzE mY hUgE fOlLoWiNg!1!!1' girl...

 

Addict wont accept help if he thinks he doesn't have a problem.

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Hahaha, tiff. Good one.

 

And boy's been on blast several times, and only now he feels bad?

 

He only started "feeling bad" because people went to his comments and complained. He probably just sulked because of people being "mean" and didn't actually feel depressed over his own actions.

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Addict wont accept help if he thinks he doesn't have a problem.

 

Her denying the problem when people first sugested it didnt help him to realize he does has one tho. 

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Tim ended up disabling comments on his instagram picture of Ayla and the one of Ayla and Isaac

I guess he got sick of all of the comments about being "best dad"

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I started thinking as I had to walk away from Bubz for a moment (a couple of hours) and started thinking: what if she's really just crying for help? That she really is being honest and truthful when she complains about Tim asking for that guidance to her situation and help to leave him. But once Tim gets back he starts the "abuse" that makes her shut down again and go back to this "We are a pair, we love each other, he's so great hahaha life is yellow!" because she's afraid of him speaking out on something or doing something horrible?

I know, it's a reach, but I just can't help to imagine the worst case scenario and having "turn my back on an abuse victim". After reading back and seeing how passive-aggressive Tim can be applauding fans who tell Bubz to leave Tim and run... I don't know. I might just be reaching here.

 

No, I don't think it's that.

They come from a generation, and perhaps culture (not Chinese here, but given what I know), that on some level still expects marriage to be dysfunctional. Women are this way, men are that way, marriage will always have to balance this conflict. 

In that system, Wife can vent to her "friends" (her followers) and "friends" will give support but will turn around and play nice with Husband. That's how It Works, it's just the normal working of a normal marriage. 

Lindy doesn't get that her followers are mostly a good deal younger, and not her friends. They are way more "woke" and way more used to expressing their opinions unfiltered. They're not going to adhere to the "girl code" and not go after Tim when she's acting so distressed. 

 

And unless Tim is drinking around the house (which I don't think he is, he seems sober in all of their videos) he's a binge drinker, not a active alcoholic. Binge drinking is a physiological issue more then a physical addiction. 

If he doesn't change, I give it until Issac starts school. Once Lindy can't globe trot and has to explain Tim absence to other parents, I doubt she'll be able to take it. She said one time she lied about Issac's age to another 3 year old boy O.o I think she has a lot of cognitive dissonance between real life and internet, despite how much she broadcasts. 

And there's no gaslighting here lol That's a very specific thing, gaslighting is when someone is made to question their own perception of reality. It's not just a dysfunctional relationship or manipulation. 

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(trimmed the post)

 

Not intending for this to sound like discrediting or belittling what you just wrote, but it sadly doesn't take college classes to recognize this in them. I noticed this long ago. I think Tim goes to HK because he works in real estate in HK. At least that's what Lindy has said before. I do recall a video where they went to an apartment he purchased a bit before they moved. They said they were going to rent it out.

A lot of people are claiming he's got an addiction. I really don't think he does, I think that it might just be the culture. I've was told by some of the Chinese students I taught that this is common behavior for young men in HK culture. Since it's so hot in HK, a lot of people don't go out until the sun is down, and when they go out to drink they go hard. It stemmed from me asking why so many of them came in looking like zombies. They were continuing habits from their lifestyle, but with 8am classes in the US. Tim's behavior isn't necessarily intentional neglect, but when he does these things, then spends the next day sleeping all day, or gets home and holes himself up in his office playing games, it does show that he's not balancing his priorities. Why should he get to have time away from home for weeks on end, time with friends, and then go home and sleep and game?

However, I don't think either is to blame here. If Lindy has certain expectations of him now that they're married and parents, she needs to express it clearly. If he doesn't agree, then they need to come to a compromise or reconsider if she and Tim are actually fit partners.

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Posted (edited)

I wish she would think about how this is going to affect her children. I would hate for Isaac to grow up thinking Tim's behavior is a completely normal and valid way to treat women/his partner and follow suit. I also wouldn't want Ayla to grow up thinking this is how she's supposed to be treated and learn problematic ways of dealing with it. Is this what Lindy wants to teach her children? Because so far, she's doing just that.

Edited by idontcare
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Not intending for this to sound like discrediting or belittling what you just wrote, but it sadly doesn't take college classes to recognize this in them. I noticed this long ago. I think Tim goes to HK because he works in real estate in HK. At least that's what Lindy has said before. I do recall a video where they went to an apartment he purchased a bit before they moved. They said they were going to rent it out.

A lot of people are claiming he's got an addiction. I really don't think he does, I think that it might just be the culture. I've was told by some of the Chinese students I taught that this is common behavior for young men in HK culture. Since it's so hot in HK, a lot of people don't go out until the sun is down, and when they go out to drink they go hard. It stemmed from me asking why so many of them came in looking like zombies. They were continuing habits from their lifestyle, but with 8am classes in the US. Tim's behavior isn't necessarily intentional neglect, but when he does these things, then spends the next day sleeping all day, or gets home and holes himself up in his office playing games, it does show that he's not balancing his priorities. Why should he get to have time away from home for weeks on end, time with friends, and then go home and sleep and game?

However, I don't think either is to blame here. If Lindy has certain expectations of him now that they're married and parents, she needs to express it clearly. If he doesn't agree, then they need to come to a compromise or reconsider if she and Tim are actually fit partners.

 

Isnt it the same in Japan and SK? They have a heavy drinking culture...

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