• Announcements

    • PULL Archiving   07/22/20

      Hi all, I paid the server bill for the month so the site can be archived, sorry for the mess, didn't realize there'd be such an uproar. The site's in read-only mode. Happy archiving. Here's a link to a user-made PULL discord server: https://discord.gg/vZFEm75

Coping with strict parents

6 posts in this topic

Posted

Anyone else feel like they live a double life because of their strict parents? Or constantly fantasizing about moving out? How different would your life be if you weren't living with them?

I have a list of stuff I want to do when I finally leave, including a "glo up", since my mom's really strict about hair/makeup/clothes/etc.

0

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

My parents was really strict growing up and I thought about moving out on my own quite often. Yes they do try to dictate a lot of what I do, what I wear, and who I am friends with (but only because my older brother’s history of friends weren’t that that great.) 

When I got a job of my own and got my own car was when I became a bit less dependent on them. Sure they still provided me with shelter and food and love and sometimes they’re a bit overbearing because they constantly want to know what I am up to. But now that I don’t live with my mother and my father passed away, I come to realize that the way they show their care of me can come off as suffocating. But I don’t see it as they’re trying to control me anymore. 

I think that a lot of parents can be too overprotective and controlling of us because they want us to BE a certain way. Ultimately, yes, it is up to us to become who we want to be and how we want to behave. The thing about the whole experiences to me is that make sure you got a good grip on what life is expected of you first before imagining the great possibilities that are out there. 

Because life is hard outside of our parents comfort. -I miss not having to worry about housing, job security and making sure I have enough money to pay for bills, not having to worry about what to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I miss it when I get sick that there’s someone there to look after me, miss them reminding me things that I often overlook or forget (like umbrella or a jacket or my wallet and phone). I dunno, just the little stuff that shows me that they are looking out for me.

I’m not sure how old you are now, but I am in my thirties now and life is great now that I have a better handle of life outside of my parents rooftop, but trust me, it was not easy. I had to move in with my parents and family member many times and still depend on them a lot despite moving out on my own.

It’s great to imagine a life in your own and the life you will want to have, but don’t forget the struggle that will come with it. At the least, remember what your skills your parents have taught you while growing up and use it to the best of your ability while you’re on your own. I hope that you have a good enough relationship with them to at least know they will be there for you if you do need them at times.

best of luck to you if you do eventually move out!

2

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

Thanks for sharing your story and for your encouraging words. You're right, it is essentially up to us to be who we want to be. Making the best of what we have until we can quietly leave is the smartest way to get through it. Looking at it from a point of understanding, like you mentioned, makes me grateful for my parents instead of resentful.

Did you have an escape? Something your parents didn't know about that? For me it's the internet, since that's the only thing they don't monitor. 

 

1

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

my escape was also the Internet. 😆 Since Internet was a new thing, they didn’t understand much about what it could entail. I used AIM a lot back in the day to talk to my classmates and friends instead of phone. I guess it was harder to monitor any type of conversations that way. Playing MMORPG was a big escape for me I guess since I was able to interact with people online and do things like “date” in a game when I wouldn’t have been able to do that in real life. Lol I even went to meet people online even though it was not very common.

another way they were strict was not letting me stay at friend’s house for sleep over and what not. (They let my brother but not me because I was a girl which I thought was unfair 😆)

1

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

Double standards suck and was something I experienced as well. At first, it was about whoever got the best grades, but when we all approached our teens, it became about how they were boys and I was a girl. It's only gotten worse now that we're all in our 20s and my (younger) brothers are now considered "men".

That being said, I'm glad the internet existed to help us get through those times, especially when arguing/speaking up can lead to more problems.  

1

Share this post


Link to post

Posted

Yeah. I appreciate the internet for being able to connect people with similar likes and dislikes as well. 
I hope others can give their insight on strict parents as well.

2

Share this post


Link to post