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bestdressed/ ashley

1940 posts in this topic

Posted

did anyone else notice around 3:50 she repeats the same line a few times but it felt off. Like more of her trying to come off as quirky and funny like she purposely did it. She is aware of the concerned she got when she uploaded the bestmess video and tried to play it off this time 

idk if im making sense 

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thank you!! especially fashion being something me and so many others are into it is so expensive and def doesn’t cater to us who can’t afford to spend so much money on it. it would be nice for ashley to use her platform that actually caters to her audience

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i found her channel about a year ago. i've been subscribed to her for most of it (i'm indecisive, okay? :(

i like her tips for styling outfits but the closet clear out video that she posted ages ago now really made me feel some kind of way. i haven't gone through 49 pages (jesus, guys) of this thread but i agree with what i've seen people say re: her making a ton of sex jokes being kind of annoying and i agree that she's pretty hypocritical

i like her enough to keep watching her tho, even if i think the sex jokes remind me of being a teenager surrounded by stupid, horny boys; i'm there for her clothing styling tips, not so much her personality anymore. i feel like i disconnected with her when she posted that cereal for 1m subscribers video lol

 

most of us are on the same page too! I still watch her because I enjoy her content (sometimes) but i’m always hopeful she goes back to her old ways. I have nothing against ashley. i’m sure many of us don’t. we just want someone who will be upfront and honest with their fans. especially having such a big platform like her. like a lot of us liked her diy and thrift but now everything is a weird sponsorship and such. also it’s not the fact that she makes sex jokes it’s just she makes them so much. and it just begins to become kinda cringe. same with the self deprecating. like we all make sex jones and self deprecate but the amount she does it is kinda alarming. especially since she does it on her videos and not in private or anything. 

 

also I feel the same about the closet clean out. how can someone have that much and constantly keep buying? there’s no way she has worn some of that even more than once or even slightly enough time to get some wear in them. if she’s getting pr and such and does it for videos, maybe she should do giveaways and such like half way through realizing her closet got out of control. and then she’s just going to buy the same urban and reformation dresses lol

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My thing with the price of the shoes is, I personally think if you wanna blow $600 on shoes because you HAVE the income/finances for it? Go for it. It's not my thing and I personally can't picture myself ever doing it, even if I had the money to do so...but I really am not gonna police people on how they spend their money. I also think people don't need to make excuses for it either--it can be a worthwhile investment (generally always a good call) or it can be a TREAT YO SELF moment (also acceptable). That in and of itself is a non issue for me personally.

My problem is, as someone posted earlier, that she complains about a dress that's like $100 (which is a fine price if it's high quality vintage with good fabric etc), but then bought $600 shoes but didn't say anything then--which is it? Is a $100 dress really too expensive, or do you just not want to admit you could comfortably afford luxury goods? It's just really stupid and hypocritical to me for the former to be suchhhh an issue to maintain relatability whereas the latter was perfectly fine? Like, okay that makes no sense. Also I just don't care to hear people complain about money/being broke/things being expensive when they have, and have always had, shit tons of money--and when the reality is that she spends a shit ton of money now buying clothes regularly and plants for her apartment that she lived in not even a whole year. It just pisses me off honestly to hear stuff like that, because it strikes me as such artificial bullshit. If you have money to spend and you spend it, just be honest about it don't whine about how $100 for a vintage dress is ughhhhh even though you can afford to fly around the world and potentially up and move to a new city on your own. 

Also I find it really interesting/weird that Ashley distinctly said that she used to mask her Asian features with makeup in the past, but I found her to look SOOOO much more Asian before. Seriously thought she was half Korean/Japanese/Chinese when I first watched her, but now she looks way more white to me. 

I also feel it's a bit hypocritical of people commenting to be like "Ashley should tell her parents/why is she so ashamed/her having this secret life from her family is so weird" and then be like "well, I mean, she's no ASTROPHYSICIST" like okay, but that stigma is why artists/creatives generally feel more insecure/lesser than those with STEM backgrounds. You can't say it's weird that she feels embarrassed about her Youtube channel (which, if I was her, I would be pretty proud of--2 million is nothing to sneeze at), while simultaneously saying it's objectively less impressive than a career in a STEM field. I think the two are just different, and I think it's kind of silly to compare jobs in that way because both can be painted in certain lights to seem more interesting/impressive/prestigious than the other. As someone with an academic background/current career who also went to an arts school, I'm just a bit over people scoffing at all artistic careers and generally shitting on them. It's just so ok, boomer to me. The important thing, as has previously been mentioned, is Ashley's character.

Unfortunately, with all that has been going on recently with her Amazon sponsorship and everything else...that character is something that needs work, in my opinion. I HIGHLY doubt she'll say anything about the Amazon deal or, if she does, it'll be a pity party for her followers to gas her up and tell her how her shit is golden. 

 

I can understand this. I honestly am a "live and let live" person. I'm an art history major and very proud of it; most of my family members are too. I come from an art family, but never has my family lied to me about the reality of artistic careers - unless you're talking about architects. It is objectively a lesser career field in terms of everything that to lead just a comfortable life, which I believe most people are referring to - not that artistic careers are useless or a waste of time.

However, I think the biggest thing they were alluding to is the correlation between her family's background and her chosen career. If the rumors are true (which I haven't looked into and probably won't), then it would account her her feeling insecure about her career. Her mom is a professor in environmental science and her daughter has a career that is fueling more of the problem you're teaching about? If I were in Ashley's shoes, I'd feel the same way. It's a feat getting 2 million subscribers, no one can ever take that away from her, but the only way she is going to sustain the lifestyle she currently has is to bend the knee to the gods of materialism and fast fashion. Even if she were to start her own fashion line today, her demographic could only afford fast fashion. That has got to create some problems at holiday dinner table, maybe even more than her constant sex joke dropping.

This isn't a boomer thing, but a reality that being an artist was not seen as a career that crossed economic lines. Nobles and the Church funded the arts that we look at today in museums until the inception of modern art, which then made the "starving artist" label a real thing.

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She definitely needs to centralize her content. Maybe this is a bit presumptuous but maybe she doesn’t have many friends because she’s a little bit toxic? The fake wokeness, the false relatability, and the lack of transparency were revealed to me in her last few videos. It’s a big reach and I know she didn’t really try to put herself out there in college or high school, but I think most of us have long term friends stemming from child and teen hood to adulthood. 

 

I don't think so, I mean it depends on the person, shortly before finishing school and I can tell you that I only have communication with two people I met there, the rest I simply consider them "people I know", not friends, I know that Ashley's case is different, because she is 21 years old and graduated from college, but I still don't understand the obsession here that she has no friends, I mean, it is important to have people with whom to interact and talk about every now and then, yes, but it is not a necessity, I understand that some people here think that she should "relax" more and interact with the people around them, more because she live in a big city, but Ashley is still young, she also has a long way to live and new things to experience, things will come in due time.

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I don't think so, I mean it depends on the person, shortly before finishing school and I can tell you that I only have communication with two people I met there, the rest I simply consider them "people I know", not friends, I know that Ashley's case is different, because she is 21 years old and graduated from college, but I still don't understand the obsession here that she has no friends, I mean, it is important to have people with whom to interact and talk about every now and then, yes, but it is not a necessity, I understand that some people here think that she should "relax" more and interact with the people around them, more because she live in a big city, but Ashley is still young, she also has a long way to live and new things to experience, things will come in due time.

 

Honestly, if you're an adult and have literally no real friends, that to me is a major red flag and I don't know how it could be seen otherwise? I'm not saying it in a judgmental way, but as I've said before for one's mental health I think you need at least one good friend who you can really talk to, or at least family members that you're really close to, and Ashley doesn't really seem to have either. I've never met a single person in my life who had literally no real friends--I've met people who were "loners"/"weirdos" but they found their people eventually and were never totally isolated. Okay upon reflection, I did know one kid in elementary school like that but he was expelled after he threw a brick at a girl's head, so....

Imho if you have no true friends as it seems Ashley does (though she listed friends on the East Coast, so I could be wrong about that, it's just not something I've seen in any of her videos), then it leads to using your followers as your friends/therapist and/or latching onto men who aren't worth your time and putting WAY too much effort into them, as Ashley did. I just think, and I say this in the least judgmental way possible, that she really needs friends--it doesn't matter if they're from her college, from Youtube, from her hometown, in another country, online, whatever. But she needs deep friendships and connections for her to really grow as a person, because if the closest thing to friends she's got now is her followers then she's just gonna go downhill personality wise since it's equivalent to having thousands of yes men worship at your feet; that's not friendship and that's not what Ashley needs. I also had periods where I had a lot of trouble making friends in college, and I can tell you my mental health was a lot worse then than when I eventually found even one or two people I could really connect with (and I say that as someone who always had at least one person back home who I regularly talked with, so I was never completely isolated but even so having one person in person who I felt a connection with did wonders for my mental health). Being forcibly alone is not good for one's mental health, and even the most introverted people I know have meaningful relationships of some kind, whether that be with family, friends, or romantic. I just think Ashley needs at least one of those three when it seems she has none, and that imo from one human being to another is legitimately concerning.

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I've never met a single person in my life who had literally no real friends--I've met people who were "loners"/"weirdos" but they found their people eventually and were never totally isolated. Okay upon reflection, I did know one kid in elementary school like that but he was expelled after he threw a brick at a girl's head, so....

“never met a single person in my life who had no real friends” *raises hand* glad that’s out of the way

 

i think people don’t understand how social anxiety can damage a persons life, and I’m just really tired of all the assumptions of her and her not having friends bcus it really does seem like y’all don’t know anything about that disorder at all. it’s a disorder that makes you self sabotage a lot regarding any relationship bcus you judge yourself too much. it can ruin a person’s life. y’all sayin stuff like “oh she has no friends she must be toxic” or equating people with no friends to just being straight up people who need to be locked away (that guy who threw a brick or smth) is concerning. like I said, I literally didn’t have friends bcus I distanced myself from a friends group bcus I thought they didn’t like me. It can be simple things like that that can lead to a person, especially a person with social anxiety disorder, to not establish friendships.

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“never met a single person in my life who had no real friends” *raises hand* glad that’s out of the way

 

i think people don’t understand how social anxiety can damage a persons life, and I’m just really tired of all the assumptions of her and her not having friends bcus it really does seem like y’all don’t know anything about that disorder at all. it’s a disorder that makes you self sabotage a lot regarding any relationship bcus you judge yourself too much. it can ruin a person’s life. y’all sayin stuff like “oh she has no friends she must be toxic” or equating people with no friends to just being straight up people who need to be locked away (that guy who threw a brick or smth) is concerning. like I said, I literally didn’t have friends bcus I distanced myself from a friends group bcus I thought they didn’t like me. It can be simple things like that that can lead to a person, especially a person with social anxiety disorder, to not establish friendships.

 

I understand where you’re coming from. (Let’s just note that we don’t know if Ashley has any social anxiety. Like I mentioned in a previous comment, you can be socially inept and it doesn’t mean you have anxiety, it’s just not the same). I think the reason some of us seem to be really frustrated with Ashley is because we see parts of us in her and it becomes so difficult to watch someone having all the resources to get help and to find social bonds and still not doing it for whatever reasons. Furthermore, it bothers me when she acts like it’s quirky to have no friends and to be anxious. It’s not.  I have anxiety, and it took me a while to put myself out there and make friends and I also engaged in behaviors that only isolated me. However, there were also circumstances out of my control that prevented me from putting myself out there (having no money to go out and eat with friends, having no car, living with uncooperative parents, etc). Ashley has everything and more. Anxiety is not a cute personality trait that she can use to seem relatable. Sure, it could be a coping mechanism for her but she has an audience, she is not “coping” on her own, she is influencing others. Even in my anxiety, I can admit that there were other things I could have done better, I am responsible over myself and my own behaviors regardless of my mental conditions. I am not a slave to my anxiety, and believing that you are a slave to your mental illness is a perfect way to never take responsibility for your own actions and to remain a stunted child who no one wants to be around with. 

 We say she is possibly toxic in real life because of things we have seen her do or say. She bashes “basic” women as if there is something wrong with being a normal woman. The only time we saw her interacting with other females she had to make a snarky comment about how influencer events are not worthwhile after she dropped off a friend to one of those events she wasn’t invited too. I don’t think it’s just speculation, she clearly has some issues with seeing other women as competition. 

Edited by DreamyCat
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She talked about pressure to monetize all hobbies and I understand where she is coming from. I feel like this is arts and crafts related pressure. People who do them and get good are told "you are so talented you should make this into a career" and those types of hobbies tend to cost a lot of time and money and take space, so eventually there will be pressure to make money out of it.

Little ot maybe but: I wanted to make my art hobby my job at one point and then it was not a hobby anymore and this just ruined it for me. It almost felt like losing my identity after being the art kid since four years old and now there is nothing. Because of this I feel like turning your hobby into profession and "do what you love and you wont work a day in your life" is just some romanticized bullshit. To me it just killed it.

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