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    • Clarifying How To Use the Report Feature   06/29/20

      Hello. I have noticed a great deal of confusion regarding how to use the report feature and what is expected regarding reports, so I am making a clarification announcement to users who may be unfamiliar with how the report feature works. Please note we have this rule regarding reports: 16.  Do report. Do not make frivolous reports (such as "I don't like this person"). Frivolous reports will result in a warning and possible ban. a. When reporting, please give a reason. Reports citing what rule the post is breaking and giving some information are way more valuable and will get the issue resolved faster. (Reports with no explanations sometimes require mods to go through and skim the entire thread to find out what's going on. Please save us time if you can). b. Don’t waste the mods’ time. Report people for breaking the rules, otherwise don’t report. [Rules in their entirety can be found here.] We also have a wonderful tutorial on how to use the report feature created by one of our former moderators which you can find here. In essence, we enforce the rules as they are written. In a rare occasion there may not be a direct violation but the user is still conducting themselves inappropriately and how we handle that is up to the moderators discretion. We do our best. We also encourage you to use the report feature to report posts that have been edited down to nothing or if you double posted and would like your double post hidden. Also, please note that we do not provide updates on reports. We get far too many to be able to keep up with every one. You are welcome to message a moderator to ask about your report, but please know that we cannot and will not divulge any information on whether we banned the user you are reporting. Simply that we have taken appropriate action. I hope this helps provide further clarification on how to use the report feature. Should you have any questions not clear in these instructions, please feel free to message me or Nyx. Thank you.

bestdressed/ ashley

4785 posts in this topic

Posted

Its like she's that weird kid in high school we all knew that would try so hard to be quirky, funny, and liked that she just ended up being so cringy and no one wanted to hang out with her. My god i don't want to know if your nipples are inverted that's the weirdest thing to point out. She really is that kid that doesn't know when to stop. Omg, I don't want to picture her nipples lmao, she sexualizes herself so much and she thinks that makes her a feminist or empowering. I really do think she has a problem with sex since it seems constantly talking about it makes her feel validated as a woman. Ashley, having sex doesn't make you a woman, being mature, and knowing how to respect yourself and your own body is what makes you a woman. 

IDK if this is just me but i feel like the reason she has lost perspective of what it is to be a normal person that doesn't talk about sex all the time is because she lives in LA. She started having sex once she moved there and then went on to become a youtuber. She was focused on school during high school and most likely had no time or interest in guys, so when she went to college, she became the typical case of shy girl turning promiscuous, only that she has no friends or family to guide her, only the internet, which has twisted her idea of what it means to be a young adult and successful woman. She thinks the rest of the world, or the country for that matter, want to hear about her inverted nipples and how she gives blowjobs. No one cares except inexperienced pre-teens and creeps.  I didn't even watch that video about blowjobs but aside from the obvious topic, i found it so inappropriate considering she has a really young audience. Is it really a good idea to promote blowjobs to a mostly pre-teen to teen audience? To be honest, that whole "big sister" thing she is trying to be creeps me out. I have no problem with sex and being open about it, but there is a time, place, and setting. She has a youtube channel based around fashion, why does she continue to incorporate the topic of sex around that? Makes no sense. If she really likes talking about it she should put it on her other channel. 

 

I think a lot of her being so open comes down with the brand of feminism she is buying. I, like you, have no problem with sex. My problem is the unbridled/disingenuous discussion on it. Whether she wants to admit it or not (which she does in a way by talking about the patriarchy and imposing what a male MAY think), sex is different between males and females. 

Girls and women are more emotional beings; we don't get immediately get turned on and/or stay turned on by looks alone in comparison to men. We usually have to be flirted and swooned into the state in which will make us on board with having sex. So, for us, there is an emotional attachment on a level that (potentially) a man doesn't feel at that moment. Ashley (and other influencers like her) NEVER seem to put this at the front of these discussions. I know that making a general statement is not PC these days, but I'm going to say it... there are very few women that can have emotionless sex. If you are worried about how you look in the morning next to Joe Schmoe then you are that woman who can't have emotionless sex; you actually care about what the guy thinks. 

-3

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Posted (edited)

For someone who is a fashion YouTuber, she gets the bad case of not being able to match her clothes.

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Im replying to this even though its from months ago but i just saw it. Is she sitting on the front of a stranger's car?

I think a lot of her being so open comes down with the brand of feminism she is buying. I, like you, have no problem with sex. My problem is the unbridled/disingenuous discussion on it. Whether she wants to admit it or not (which she does in a way by talking about the patriarchy and imposing what a male MAY think), sex is different between males and females. 

Girls and women are more emotional beings; we don't get immediately get turned on and/or stay turned on by looks alone in comparison to men. We usually have to be flirted and swooned into the state in which will make us on board with having sex. So, for us, there is an emotional attachment on a level that (potentially) a man doesn't feel at that moment. Ashley (and other influencers like her) NEVER seem to put this at the front of these discussions. I know that making a general statement is not PC these days, but I'm going to say it... there are very few women that can have emotionless sex. If you are worried about how you look in the morning next to Joe Schmoe then you are that woman who can't have emotionless sex; you actually care about what the guy thinks. 

 

I completely agree with you. As much as so called "feminists" like Ashley insist on wanting to promote mindless sex for females and portray it as a healthy thing, its just not real. We NEED that emotional connection more than guys do. Its why men can fuck a different girl every day and feel happy and proud to brag with their friends. Its very rare that a woman feels proud of the same thing, and like you said, its not because of the patriarchy or any bull like that. its because we simply prefer to have sex with someone we have bonded with. As much as i agree with  being open about healthy sex, the way that Ashley is doing it is not healthy. Call me old fashioned but i just don't agree with her promoting sex, tinder, hooking up and blowjobs to young teenage girls as something normal. If anything, real feminism should be about encouraging young girls to get an education and/or to find a career that fulfills them and then they can find someone who they feel connected with and who is not a douchebag (cough, cough, David) in order to have a good and healthy sex life and relationship. But of course, Ashley has never had that, so the only thing she can promote under her so called "female empowered feminism" is mindless sex and blowjobs, which is sad. She should just not talk about it. 

Political correctness is pure cancer though, just wait until the triggered replies come or until a moderator comes because we are "derailing" from the topic even though we are talking about Ashley and her contradictory female empowerment bull.

Edited by DreamyCat
-19

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As a girl in her 20s with many friends my age, I can tell you it is common. I never did a full beat face in the morning, but covering some pimples and blotting my face? Hell yeah, and so did many of my friends

 

I'm 29 I guess I'm on my way out of the 20s but even when I'd watch YTrs 7/8,years ago, I felt they had unrealistic routines even for "No make up makeup'.. Tinted moisturiser with SPF and a nice lip is def my friend but like you said, people rarely do a full beat like YT girls do so there's that, it's unrealistic in the real world.. I never said simple cover ups were unrealistic, just the YT makeup lifestyle to me seems to be for people them who wake up at 10 am to meet friends at 1pm.. But also if you're in a relationship with someone it's just odd that you'd do stuff like intimate Which For me is a whole different level of vulnerability  but not be OK with showing your face as it is . I'll choke it up to differences because ik Girls who have never shown their partner their real hair because they wear wigs or they always wake up a tad early to straighten it.. 

It's more along the lines that they believe they're ugly without makeup in general, rather than what you're describing.

 

Ahhhh I see what you mean.. I guess I'm not bothered because I developed a "everyone is ugly to someone and that's ok/comparison Is the thief of joy" attitude before I hit my teens.. Saved me a world of hurt tbh.. 

1

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Posted

Call me old fashioned but i just don't agree with her promoting sex, tinder, hooking up and blowjobs to young teenage girls as something normal. If anything, real feminism should be about encouraging young girls to get an education and/or to find a career that fulfills them and then they can find someone who they feel connected with and who is not a douchebag (cough, cough, David) in order to have a good and healthy sex life and relationship. But of course, Ashley has never had that, so the only thing she can promote under her so called "female empowered feminism" is mindless sex and blowjobs, which is sad. She should just not talk about it. 

Political correctness is pure cancer though, just wait until the triggered replies come or until a moderator comes because we are "derailing" from the topic even though we are talking about Ashley and her contradictory female empowerment bull.

 

Let women do what they want with their bodies. Boo hoo. No one cares.

The reason why I don't think she should talk about it is because she's just insanely awkward and shouldn't based on the content of her channel.

Switching topics though, I also don't think she should be talking about "college advice" either. She literally completed her (extremely demanding) degree in 2.5 years and clearly had a miserable time all the way through. She gave some advice in a video saying that "you should load up on courses your freshman year" when I know advisors that specifically say that you SHOULDN'T do that lmao.

15

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Let women do what they want with their bodies. Boo hoo. No one cares.

The reason why I don't think she should talk about it is because she's just insanely awkward and shouldn't based on the content of her channel.

Switching topics though, I also don't think she should be talking about "college advice" either. She literally completed her (extremely demanding) degree in 2.5 years and clearly had a miserable time all the way through. She gave some advice in a video saying that "you should load up on courses your freshman year" when I know advisors that specifically say that you SHOULDN'T do that lmao.

 

I’m all for letting women do what they want for their bodies, I just don’t agree with young teenage girls being taught all these things about hooking up, tinder and blowjobs as if it’s something that will make them happy by a girl who hasn’t had a good lasting relationship and who is not exactly in a place of fulfillment at the moment. There is a difference between being open about safe sex in a healthy relationship vs encouraging young girls to have sex with strangers. My point was that her “advise” is directly going into naive teenagers who look up to her. Sue me for not wanting teenagers to get into the toxic hookup culture while they are still teenagers. But I guess that means I hate women...  That’s why I said that if she really wants to talk about sex she should do it in her other channel and not use her fashion channel to get to young inexperienced girls who think sex is all flowers and roses just like she did. I hate that we are at a place now where you either have to be in favor of hookup culture or you hate women and don’t want them to have sex. How about reaching a middle ground? 

Anyways, enough of that. While I think it’s good for young people to talk about their experiences, Ashley really has no experience in anything. She is indeed also in no place to talk about college and school. She had a miserable time during college, both because of her inability to be even a bit social and for stacking up on classes. It’s really bad advice to load up on a lot of classes in your freshman year. That is a perfect recipe for early burnout and even for potentially dropping out.  Taking a bunch of classes in one semester and barely surviving it doesn’t make you any smarter. This is more my opinion but I don’t see anything good about graduating so early. Yeah, depending on the school and your living situation you might be saving some money but then you have to torture your mind for two straight years or so trying to pass all your classes. Then if you have a part time job, as many students do, it will become almost impossible to do. But Ashley didn’t have a regular job so it’s easy for her to tell people to just take a bunch of classes. 

Edited by DreamyCat
17

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I think her gaining a huge following on youtube has kept her from gaining vital self-awareness and introspection a lot of people her age go through because of school or having their first real jobs and experiencing a lot of disappointment in some way shape or form (emotional/interpersonal or professionally.) She's still young but it just seems slightly disingenuous to me that she's kind of making these videos that are meant to be seen as advice for the young people that are following her about subjects that she's supposedly knowledgable in because she experienced those things, whether it's sex or college, but really a lot of people realize what they have gone through and what they can maybe do differently much later, when there's more distance between who they are as people and those experiences. I think if she were to hold off a bit on that big sister persona she so wants to attach herself to, she would understand that her perspective on a lot of those subjects is skewed and unrealistic for most people.

6

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Young people just want someone to follow and Ashley gives them that opportunity, basically acting like the older sister and a know-it-all. "Because of her awkward personality, she must be telling the truth" - sort of thing.

I agree with what's been said about her stepping down from playing the older sister role. The problem is she based her Youtube persona around that, so there's no steering away from it. The first video I came across of hers was her jean pants one, and the stuff she recommended was either too expensive, too fast-fashion or just not practical for all body types. It made me doubt her logic, which I still do.

No matter, I just wish her viewers would take her words with a grain of salt, that's what most of us want.

6

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Posted

Let women do what they want with their bodies. Boo hoo. No one cares.

The reason why I don't think she should talk about it is because she's just insanely awkward and shouldn't based on the content of her channel.

Switching topics though, I also don't think she should be talking about "college advice" either. She literally completed her (extremely demanding) degree in 2.5 years and clearly had a miserable time all the way through. She gave some advice in a video saying that "you should load up on courses your freshman year" when I know advisors that specifically say that you SHOULDN'T do that lmao.

 

Who in this conversation is saying that women couldn't do what they want with their bodies? Just because people think that men and women are different, and ergo, the advice should be different, doesn't mean it's policing someone's body. It's up to the individual to either take the advicem half take the advice or don't take the advice at all. Girls and women should be given the straight facts to lead them on the path to have happy and healthy careers which will make them more ready for a real relationship. Advice on sex has layers to it. We are not beasts like the rest of the animal kingdom; we are thinking, feeling beings and every action has deeper implications than we realize. Women having casual sex happens, but it doesn't mean it's healthy. Men watch porn happens, but it doesn't mean it's healthy. Both biological and social science have an overwhelming level of introductory evidence (as in they could do deeper studies) that points to the fact that how we view sex, how we feel sex, what we expect from sex, etc is based a great deal on our gender. Call it generations of social brainwashing, but I call it a reality that should be considered for everyone to have a healthy discourse for the betterment of individuals and society. If it wasn't true on some level, companies wouldn't be pumping so much money into marketing. You know what marketing is based on? Psychology, which means (at the very least) they target the lowest common denominator of their target market, which is gender. From there, it's about tailoring it to a certain sect. 

Her talking about sex has nothing to do with her being awkward. There are people, who will forever be awkward, that have sex. It has everything to do with the fact that she doesn't have her life together and/or enough experience to really speak on this; and I mean her being raised in (clearly) a more hush, hush sheltered environment and only being 21, making it only about three years since she flew the coop. There are 21 year olds that have the capacity to carry on a mature conversation about sex, but she is not one of them. When you are a lonely, potential train wreck, you are not the one to giving advice or even conversing on a platform where you are assumed to have good wisdom.

Ashley has potential, but she should just stick to fashion videos until she figures out her next step. In a way, she's trying to grow up on camera; it's not going to age well, which makes me sad for a whole generation who will put their everything out there without realizing the greater implications of their actions because, let's face it, many influencers will have this be a steady career if they don't start their own thing, which then begs the question on what company will want this person to be on their team.

11

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This video on her second channel got me really anxious. She films the same thing a lot of times just to get the lines perfect and every time she says "uhm" looks like she's about to cry in frustration (someone commented that on the video and I thought it was really on point)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LosWgoSy9FI

I thought the vidcon video was kinda nice even tho she was really socially awkward and trying to fit in, but now seeing bits of the backstage, with her filming and filming the same thing repeatedly was actually kinda sad.

10

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This video on her second channel got me really anxious. She films the same thing a lot of times just to get the lines perfect and every time she says "uhm" looks like she's about to cry in frustration (someone commented that on the video and I thought it was really on point)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LosWgoSy9FI

I thought the vidcon video was kinda nice even tho she was really socially awkward and trying to fit in, but now seeing bits of the backstage, with her filming and filming the same thing repeatedly was actually kinda sad.

 

Someone also commented that she looks empty and sad which is true. That’s probably how she actually looks like when she is not trying to cover it with fake quirkiness and over sexualized comments. 

The reason why she makes such mistakes when she speaks and why she feels the need to make it sound perfect is because she wants to sound smart. I said before that she talks too quickly because she has this need of sounding smart but very few people can actually speak at that speed without stuttering every half second like her. She really needs to calm down and accept that her idea of perfection is unrealistic and skewed and is only causing her unnecessary frustration. Ashley, don’t say that you work hard on your videos just because it takes you hours to film a simple video as a result of your disturbing need to sound smart and perfect. That video was honestly a little scary to watch, she looks like the kind of person that is about to have a mental breakdown. She probably thought people would find it funny but most comments talk about how sad she looks and how unnecessary it is for her to try to sound perfect all the time. Imagine all the time she spends filming and editing if she’s like that in every video...

This comment hits the nail on the head 

 

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Edited by DreamyCat
15

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This video on her second channel got me really anxious. She films the same thing a lot of times just to get the lines perfect and every time she says "uhm" looks like she's about to cry in frustration (someone commented that on the video and I thought it was really on point)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LosWgoSy9FI

I thought the vidcon video was kinda nice even tho she was really socially awkward and trying to fit in, but now seeing bits of the backstage, with her filming and filming the same thing repeatedly was actually kinda sad.

 

damn. not to sound mean, but does ashley go to therapy? she shouldn't be so harsh on herself.

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after seeing that video, it now make sense to me why her sense of humor is the way it is.

She seems like such a extreme perfectionist, and imo she knew people were gonna feel bad for her.

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i actually love her sm i feel so bad watching the video

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honestly this makes me double down on what I said before--her recent uptick in constant smiling and jokes and positivity just seems so Stepford Wives-y, and now that I see her on the verge of a mental breakdown for trying to get basic, dumb lines to be "perfect" (like, they weren't even that great of things to say, and she was saying them as if she wrote a script beforehand?!) I see why it felt that way. And honestly it makes it more disturbing that she was forcing herself to constantly be smiling in other videos and laughing when behind the scenes she's this tightly wound and clearly miserable. Like, girl! No one is holding a gun to your head! Just take a freaking break. 

As she is now, she seems very unhappy and very artificial while trying to cover it with a veneer of "I'm so happy!!! Life isn't so bad!!!! I'm just an awkward chick like every one of you but I'm still a big sis so lemme give you advice!!!!" 

Like damn I was gonna comment again about how the main turn off for me isnt her sex talk (though that does grind my gears a bit), but how fake and just inauthentic she seems, but this video just hit the nail on the head, she literally just gave me proof of what I had been suspecting

I mean, I do feel bad for her but not in a way of like omg let me support this person cuz I feel bad for them, more like omg girl get off the freaking internet and go to a goddamn therapist like I've been saying forever. At least she's exposing what kids could become if they look up to her too much and try to emulate everything she does. 

But seriously wondering what she thought posting this would do, because I think to most people it just alarmed/disturbed them.

15

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