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I feel so hopeless for not making virtually any IRL friendships. Every time I even try to, they either turn heel, or I refuse to keep proper contact. I feel like there's something insanely wrong with me. I haven't been able to keep most friendships I've had in the past for over a year, let alone longer than that. It makes me so discouraged to know that I'm already beaten down by my trust issues to begin with, and even more so knowing that it's affected me on a social level. Everyone has at least one tangible friend, I can't think of one. Not even a longtime one. The lack of a longtime one is what kills me.
If Kyla is happier working a job and living like a normal teen does, and away from the insults of netizens, good for her. Even if pristin won't be the same without her I hope the group will continue to promote. I don't want the girls trapped in the Pledis dungeon forever.
what I don't understand is why she insists on dressing in hoe clothes repeatedly after everyone has told her off for it. I guess it's just to continually fuel the hate train? I don't know, it doesn't look or seem comfortable to walk around with your nips and chest hanging out like that, she could literally wear a t-shirt or anything else decently comfortable and she would not have strangers balking at her. even by US and western standards what she's worn would get her stared at. It'd be considered borderline public indecency in many places. that stringy lace thing she wears would only be considered socially acceptable at a club, and even then it's climbing up the "thot" scale. baggier clothes would look better on her kid looking body anyway. she would be more comfortable not cramming herself into tight clothes. probably she's just trying to compensate for her terrible personality by dressing provocatively but damn is it not working.
it's all part of her tumblr shtick i mean she seems pretty comfortably female to me lmao
seeing as how i was only ever on seroquel (seroquil? spelling isn't my forte) temporarily, i can agree that it is not effective for much besides sleep. quite the contrary. i found it even more endangering than xanax or my current standby emergency tranquilizer (klonopin), it would dope me up so badly that it fucked with my sense of reality. i don't understand how someone could take it on the daily and function. it's a very risky drug that I wouldn't recommend to anyone, including under the PD/bipolar umbrella, there are effective, safer medications to treat mood disorders without adverse side effects. i wouldn't put it past her to self medicate if she doesn't want to go to a psychiatrist in order to get a proper prescription/diagnosis, medication takes time to sink in that's of a lesser strength, and she's an impatient type who would probably want immediate results... if she's truly "suffering" as much as she keeps claiming mentally, and doesn't want to expend money, time or effort towards fixing her mental health the proper way, medicating herself seems like the easier way out. the thing is if she is indeed doing that it only seems to be making her more messy. mixing recreational street drugs / alcohol with medications is also a huuuuge no no but i'm not going to put it past her to do that either with her lapses of judgment.... then again, i wonder whether she's taking the pills at all given their typical side effects and how they contradict with her behavior. she could be taking another drug entirely under a false label, especially if its something she scooped off the street, it's easy for someone to outright lie about it.
yeah I an old group of weed loving friends who told me about their experiences with acid, and one of them described his trip as "visions of hell". they all adamantly refused to let me touch psychedelics because they knew my mental health issues would interact with them poorly. i really don't think it's a good idea for her to do drugs at all, except for taking her prescribed drugs (although I don't know why of all things they've put her on seroquil, that's a nasty pill).
after she was elmiminted I decided to look more into her her current instagram is here after watching some of her instagram live videos she seems pretty nice, way more so than the initial "shes cringey from stan twitter and cant speak korean yet" reactions implied, and I really wish her the best, she wasn't ever going to win pd48 but I do want her to debut eventually, she's talented and she seems like she works hard, especially considering she's learning korean, but seems like she's gotten better she talks about her friendships on pd48 with the other trainees quite a bit, and ex YG Entertainment trainees park jinny & park seoyoung/roya show up in her stream comments
how has her account not been yanked from instagram again when she keeps uploading borderline porn? i thought it got yanked before if my memory serves me right but she always manages to get it back or remake.... i guess it's "acceptable" to showcase half your tits in a teeny bikini as long as you're not slipping an areola? i mean, if you're goin to be tasteless, at least show some subtlety to your perverted followers so theyll pay for your paid pornographic content, tease them. giving them excessive fap material on your free accounts is exactly why you're losing subscribers natasha. if you're going to transition from cosplay hoe to fullblown sex worker, at least follow what most sex workers do and don't sell yourself cheap or free. not that i want to enable her, but if she in fact lurks here that she really need to have it hammered into her head that she's not making intelligent business decisions. given that this is her only source of income she should be mindful that her downfall is supplying too much free content and not being able to properly promote herself and sell to her fanbase. even momokun/moo, much as i despise her, is better at selling herself to her neckbeard followers.
Interestingly enough I went to a panel at my school presented by some out of state high school students regarding social media and how it is impactful on the conventions of self perception and other phenomenons. While they said that social media started off as an innocous tool and is still used for good, people aren't necessarily aware of the harms it may pose psychologically. And everyone is pretty much guilty of using it, at least in the under 30 crowd (though I've seen plenty of people my parents age addicted to facebook). So these students delved into recent scientific research in order to build their projects, and primarily surveyed over 500 students in schools in and around their area for a survey asking various questions about how social media affected them personally. They spent a year doing research pertaining to SNS and their findings pinpointed a particular study in which it was shown that notifications on SNS trigger dopamine receptors in the brain, which induces a pleasureful feeling. Another study they examined found that there was a substantial difference in the ratio of gray to white matter in the brain of people who excessively used social media (gray matter being the matter in the brain that controls perception and sensory functions), with white matter increasing, and gray matter decreasing. Another study they talked about also cited a significantly shortened attention span, which allowed for a complex ability to multitask, but further difficulty in focusing on as singular task. There are apparently actual documented mental repercussions to excessive usage of SNS, which you could say is symptomatic of overusing anything and allowing it to become addictive, so it's not strict to SNS but something that people consider to be less applicable to SNS and its usage.... The second portion of the project, specifically presented by one out of the three students, specifically talked about the perception of body image and how it is often skewed by social media. Their surveys interestingly enough had a massive inconsistency between people who felt that celebrities influenced their bodily image (few), but many said that they felt that their body image was negatively affected by social media in general. The girl who was presenting, along with the audience, sort of discussed how they felt that it was less "celebrity" geared, and more geared towards "girls next door" who photoshop, and already skinny women on social media who accentuate their thinness (interestingly enough, Rocksy-chan, who I believe has a PULL thread, was featured in their presentation) and further photoshop themselves. And they're not big budget celebrities, they're instagram girls who either get surgery or photoshop themselves into oblivion. Another thing she noted was the fact that the reason there has been an uptake in young girls getting PS (lip fillers, ass implants, nosejobs, boobjobs, botox, other surgeries) when they're under 18s, no less has to do with the fact that we live in a fast paced society. People expect so much with either little effort or expect results of their work to come instantaneously. And the fact that rich parents tend to enable or toss money at the often privileged girls who end up getting PS young. This impatience that has been brought about due to binge culture, in other words. Binge culture / trend hopping has a lot to do with it. it really comes with negative repercussions. I mean, not to say that this conference wasn't what I expected, and that I wasn't horrified either. Why am I still on social media? I mean, it's just a part of daily life for me. I don't think it's driving me crazy, I'm already crazy, right? Is it making me crazier? It it making us all crazier? Maybe? It all feels so mindless lol. Anyway, I guess you could call this some "insight"?
You know they say twentysomethings today are the teenagers of the previous generation. In other words, there's a substantial rise in immaturity and arrested development. The fact that she's so vain and conceited, focusing on and banking off her appearance for as long as she possibly can until her appeal runs dry, and I can promise you that there's tens of female models out there who look androgynous as she does, or even more so, and don't pull the "genderless fakeboi" card. Again, armchairing aside, the gender trending really seems like an attention grab on both a PR level for her "job" and a personal level to keep her senseless and equally childish fans thirsting for her. She's desperately trying to cling to relevancy anyway she can, because when it comes to modelling she knows that there are prettier, taller, and thinner girls than her (what is she, like 5'8"?) who'll undoubtedly surpass her. I think that's part of the fekboi shtick and why she keeps it up, she has to have some kind of tokenistic measure to keep her from coming to terms with the fact that she's not the skinniest or the prettiest, especially when it comes to modeling. You know what she is when she's not pretty or skinny? She's a smoldering heap with a garbage personality who's a bitch to her friends and her family. When you strip away the physical beauty, she's a hideous human being. Does she even have an education beyond high school level that would otherwise give her a job that wouldn't require flipping burgers? Is she even university or even community college educated whatsoever? What's she gonna do when the instahoe and fakeboi well runs dry? After estranging herself from her main family it's not like she can really return to them and expect them to accept her forgiveness after being a fucking cunt who tries to break them apart with her snowflake entitlement. It's sad to see someone whos literally so self absorbed and stranded. and who's going to fail at life and come crying wolf every chance she gets. As if she doesn't already live enough off her so called "friends" handouts. Cuz I know she can't milk this out forever. If anything it just makes me sad watching it unfold. Edit: damn Sarah fangirls y’all remind me that she really should be moved to little snowflakes lol