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Pixiesayurii

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About Pixiesayurii

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Pixiesayurii's Activity

  1. Pixiesayurii added a post in a topic Pixiesayurii   

    that is not me my only backup is @pixiesayuri wtf 
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  2. Pixiesayurii added a post in a topic Pixiesayurii   

    I just want to be left alone. please. 
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  3. Pixiesayurii added a post in a topic Pixiesayurii   

    Sorry i don’t know how this site works too well, and i didn’t have the best internet connection 
    Thank you for response to my reply i think it was followthesheeps on the last thread, and i think lopunny on this one i respect your opinions and appreciate it much. I’ll go now.
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  4. Pixiesayurii added a post in a topic Pixiesayurii   

    i never sent any threat, i felt panicked and hurt from seeing the thread for the first time and was on the defensive for myself, i posted about it because i was trying to defend myself and yes try to at that time not admit to it. i didn’t know how this site worked so i thought it would go away if people reported it since i saw it as an attack on me, i think that is pretty obvious no one wants something bad posted on themselves, also i think you’re being rude about it to when all i am is explaining myself, what else do you want from me ? Nothing because you want to keep posting about me and hating on me when I’ve already explained everything. is it giving you something to do or ? are you trying to help? Or for no reason? Or trying to get me to delete my account ? what’s the motive here seems different than some other users. Fyi the person who came here did it on his own will i never directed him to say, dislike or threaten this website. also what about binary code ? That’s crazy and i don’t even know what he did until he told me . I will try to find the account and dm conversation.
     
    I already admitted to what’s true and what’s not, if you still don’t believe me that’s fine. Also if my reply’ can be accepted please, i was saying that i never directed people to say or do certain things other than saying that to report, i didn’t know how this site worked and i thought it would go away obvisouly i was trying to protect my image for back then i didn’t want to admit about the editing and became scared and hurt to see that people were commenting about it harshfully. for the one follower who came here i never told him to do anything. I didn’t know until he sent it to me. Here is the screenshots of the dm conversation, all i did was thank him and tell him to just stop. Sorry if the dms are our of order idk how to put them that way .










     
    Can you let me respond ?? 
     
    ? so all my responses are taken down 
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  5. Pixiesayurii added a post in a topic Pixiesayurii   

     
    I already said what i had to say and admitted and explained eveything very thoughtfully, if you even saw the response I’m sure someone would have screenshotted so you wouldn’t know if there was grammar mistakes or not , there wasn’t i know because i typed it out, I’m not as stupid as you try to make me out to be. at this point it’s just hate posting, my response immediately was taken down and i replied , but apparently i didn’t and everything i do never happened, because you want to expose people without even accepting the reponse of the actual person just so you can keep talking hatefully about them. with this said, i am just going to leave everything alone, I’m done trying to fight back when i did respectfully and was shut down completely. i really don’t understand the dynamic of this website if your going to post about an actual person you can’t just assume things, i never have claimed to be a professional gamer, i don’t post on YouTube and never have , only certain gameplay that i post private to screenrecord then to post on my Instagram, you’re taking pictures that are from a couple months ago, which if my explanation wasn’t taken down explained that i admitted to editing the photos posted previously in the thread, i don’t know what you think doing this to someone is going to get you, i would understand if it was out of concern which i respect many of the people who weren’t just bashing and were being insightful, obviously I’m going to see something that someone post about me yet you make it out like it’s some secret that i would be looking, no. It affects me very harshly and makes me hate myself a lot more because of reuploads that i have since deleted previously before this thread and during the thread because of the embarrassment and realization of myself, not because other people were telling me ans “exposing” me , I’m sure this response will be deleted to, since there’s no point in even trying to find middle ground or be able to defend myself. Im not telling you you don’t have the right to post about me, but there is a line that i feel has been crossed in giving respectful Critism and downright picking out every little thing, for example the contacts, does this affect you so badly ?, the my family is “loaded”, first of all you don’t know my life. I am not loaded nor do i get any money from my parents who both have worked so hard to be able raise me and my three sisters. I have had a part time job since i was 16 and i work my ass off to make money to spend on cosplay and daily things with little hours. I’m 17, I’ve had my mistakes and i explained them. nothing more i will do or comment on anymore, i tried. i can’t look at this anymore because it affects my mental health, and i know that I’m going to be called a “snowflake” but no, everyone has feelings and emotions sorry just because i cosplay and post and have people send donations doesn’t mean i can’t have valid feelings and post and vent to my followers or my friends because really i felt comfortable doing it,. I post all donations and gifts because i want to show my appreciation for the people who go out of there way to do that, it’s just a moral thing to do but once again to push the agenda eveything i do apparently means something else.  i think one persons response that was summarizing the statement, and what they said was very respectful and i 100% would have been open to talking back with them but i was given a “penalty” for posting my reponse ? Here’s a summary from me
     
    - i admitted to photoshopping all my old photos and that they were incredibly embarrassing and make me hate myself more 
    - i explained that most of my followers are white knights and can be incredibly ridiculous, ( the person who went to this thread was NEVER directed by me, another instance of just saying things to make people seem like i do that)
    -after i was sent this thread i would come back to look at responses and make myself become so fucking hateful of my own self for my past mistakes and seeing how completely sad and broken i must have been, since the photos in this thread were one so i have deleted because of the embarrassment before this thread ( the other one) existed. I have never been an exsisting user. 
    - i have bad self confidence issues and mental health issues, which i explained that i understand a lot of people do but the pressure of social media/cosplayers affected my behavior as well as the things I’ve experienced (which i won’t even get into because I’m just going to be called a snowflake) and the beginning thought of seeing likes/follows going to certain looking cosplayers, ahegao posts ( the ones from when i first started , kizuna ai pic isn’t ahegao ) and my behavior that was influenced by those things
    - i built my acccount from the ground up, this is me telling you god honestly i have never ever boughten followers or likes ( using socialblade actually disproves your accusations because it’s gradual increase) but i understand why you would think that (plus I’m pretty sure someone who buys likes would be buying in my case of my account , 10,000 likes each post but as you can see my posts fluctuate depending on the content of the post , the time , the day , etc., every person knows that’s how the Instagram algorithm works and how well your posts do will depend on those factors.
    also followers case also depend on the post amount of post and show “personality” and engagement with the audience , as you can see i try to respond to every who leaves comments and i respond to most if not all respectful dms. I find happiness in making friends and having people respond to my stories and ask me questions.
    - i go to school, have job, and have an actual life, cosplay is becoming something i have put thousands of dollars and effort into and it’s insulting to see you say i buy my followers/likes when i have invested every dime and worked so hard to get where i am. I will not give up what i have worked so hard for .
    - i am working on my self esteem , but things like this and hateful comments make it worse, as with anyone . I’m sure many of you girls would understand the pressures of social media and at my age how i perceive myself could be skewed and me feel hateful towards my natural looks 
    - i have cut back on editing so much but none of you seem to post the posts of videos of me ? just seems like you pick out the worst things to just put a front to hate on. how come no videos are posted here? But just pictures that are being used as “what she really looks like” that are from now months ago before i even started my cosplay account. People change, and get better as time goes on, i will explain more later. <<<<That isn’t what i look like now>>>>, at all, my makeup has drastically changed as well as my whole look, since I’ve  practiced and learned  as well as photos taken from Facebook on the other thread or pictures that were years old. I change my makeup differently literally every month even maybe every week. So it kinda just seems like you’re showing the worst of me.  i will obviously still smooth/edit and use lightening/ pink filters and edit on pngs and such to help fit characters aesthetic and look. Also i have learned what works for my face and how to accentuate certain features and hide certain things using makeup/ tape / large diameter contacts/ glueing wigs / different makeup / accentuating my chest for certain characters or hiding my chest for certain characters. from examples of pictures from photography at ax i literally look so horrible and i look back and my makeup literally was horrible compared to the now dozens of cosplays I’ve done, before that con i had two under my belt. And you don’t get to choose angles/ lighting at cons for that’s no excuse but you can understand. Also in the dva pictures i never taped my face wore a wig or contacts and yes didn’t know how to do the right makeup/ and my fuckin brows for shit back then very much trial and error since i started wearing makeup you aren’t just good or know from the start it took a lot of ugly pics for me to realize it
    but i have come more confident and happy with myself and I’m sure you could see that change from the past clearly and obviously hurt and broken girl i was , from those horribly embarrassing photos.
    once again this is my last time posting and commenting on this other than responding to questions or replies that are respectful. I don’t really moral to act on someone who has explained themselves and making these threads for what doesn’t seem much like “concern” anymore but now beating a dead horse or trying to ruin a persons life/ something they worked hard for. I’m 17. I’m sorry but just doesn’t seem right.  I hope you can respect my reponse and not take it as an attack on any of you because i won’t stoop that low.  
    Here’s the provided screenshots 
    thats all I’m saying on the matter now, if this isn’t posted. You are all doing something so hurtful and wasting your time hating on a 17 year old you won’t even take a response from. I don’t know what being 18 makes the Diffence either if i can’t respond but you can comment on a 17 year old hatefully but that’s just coming from me.
     
    thank you if you respect my statement. If nothing gets posted i don’t know what do to anymore but be more mentally affected every day i just want it to stop so i can work on myself and become happy with myself.
     
    Is it really that hard to believe that a young girl in this day and age as well as in The  cosplay community would photoshop photos because of extreme insecurity, in real life situations and harmful experiences , and be affected by it? i don’t think so. i hope you can realize what i was feeling. 
     
    All this is going to do is fuck with my mental stability if i don’t put it to rest . Which I’m trying to just to move on and help myself because it’s affecting my life 😭. Please.
    note for the moderator, please post this for the sake of me working on myself. i cannot go on with it any longer. Thank you.
    - pixie 
     
    proof of me this is pixie not a follower ugh 
     



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  6. Pixiesayurii added a post in a topic Cosplay personalities   

    I’m sorry but i explained myself very thourghly and my side of everything, if you want to make a thread on me it’s you’re choice i wouldn’t tell you yes or no but of course I’m sure you know my feelings. i have already said what i needed to say and will just continue on with living and working on myself. this kind of thing really messes with me and no doubt i guess i put it on myself but hopefully you can see how it would affect me mentally. no need to beat a dead horse. thanks for the people who respected my opinion, I’ll leave, since apparently it’s just “bullshit”. Thanks -pixie 
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  7. Pixiesayurii added a post in a topic Cosplay personalities   

    hello, it’s pixiesayurii. I’ve been sent this thread countless times and i want to clear things up, if you respect my statements thank you, if you don’t that is okay too. 
     
    to start off ive seen everything of course some of my followers are a little bit over the top and do act like white knights, i totally agree with that.
    I want to say that definitely you all have the right to comment on my appearance and everything, i have everything public and i can’t be the one to just stop the conversation.
    many of your thoughts yes totally hit home for me, i definitely very much at the beginning of creating my cosplay account was very naive and saw that the photos i weren’t posting weren’t up to the “standard” of cosplay girls, e girls, people who have many followers
    this is no pity party and of course everyone deals with forms of insecurity. but i think it’s understandable to realize that at the beginning i had a very misconstrued view of beauty in my eyes.
    i would see many girls who were beautiful and i wanted to look like them but there was nothing i could really do, i was shit at makeup and i thought i had the ugliest face ever being 16, with no job i couldn’t afford many cosplays  or nice makeup either.
    so i did very very very much see that shopping could help, other people could do it so hey why couldnt i?
    Yes, 10000% i used to photoshop my pictures heavily and I’ll admit that with all honesty because there’s no avoiding it now, i look back and literally fucking hate myself for it and am completely and utterly embarrassed
    from photos shown in this thread yes completely 
    i feel like though everything’s kind of just looking at the bad parts of me and my mistakes and choices, saying things like i am stupid and other degrading things i don’t believe are necessary but the points made with facts and with concern are very much alright.
    i can say now that i have gradually gotten more and more confident with myself, since after i left a “bad” relationship, that i will not go into because i don’t want this to be a pity party once again.
    even though those situations reflect my behavior it doesn’t make it an excuse to deny it.
    i appreciate you all , and i did want to delete my whole entire account but i hope you can realize the hard work and money and time i put into my cosplay.
    i became much more happier and felt much more accepted by the people who would comment and like I’m sure anyone can agree with that!
    i made this account from zero to here. 100% i have never ever boughten followers or likes, i understand why some of you would assume that but really truly i have not, i have worked so hard and been through much trial and error with posting times, what kind of content, hashtags and the audience that I’m aiming towards 
    with all that said i have grown to where i am not solely based off of my looks but my dedication, responding and creating relationships with my fans and making it feel like a comfortable and happy place we can all talk and relate. I’ve created many friends and i don’t think that i should delete my account solely for my past mistakes.
    its much more than just a look for me, and I’m sure many other cosplayers it’s a whole lifestyle now, and I’m happy to say I’m proud of where i am even with the mistakes it took to get here.
    the photos i deleted was cause of the embarrassment, really it’s not cute.
    I can tell you all now who have been following me to hope to see my change and say that completely i have started posting and being more comfortable with my more natural self, videos, Snapchats, etc.,
    i still wear makeup, i still learned what works for my face over the years and of course using face tape, contacts with large diameters help to achieve the more character look, i do and will smooth my skin and color retouch if i need to.
    with more recent photos I’m sure you can tell much the difference, i have learned how embarrassing it was, 
    this is all I’m going to say for now i hope this can be a respectful conversation, and i hope you can see where I’m coming from, i needed to address this,
    feel free to ask any questions. 
     
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