I already said what i had to say and admitted and explained eveything very thoughtfully, if you even saw the response I’m sure someone would have screenshotted so you wouldn’t know if there was grammar mistakes or not , there wasn’t i know because i typed it out, I’m not as stupid as you try to make me out to be. at this point it’s just hate posting, my response immediately was taken down and i replied , but apparently i didn’t and everything i do never happened, because you want to expose people without even accepting the reponse of the actual person just so you can keep talking hatefully about them. with this said, i am just going to leave everything alone, I’m done trying to fight back when i did respectfully and was shut down completely. i really don’t understand the dynamic of this website if your going to post about an actual person you can’t just assume things, i never have claimed to be a professional gamer, i don’t post on YouTube and never have , only certain gameplay that i post private to screenrecord then to post on my Instagram, you’re taking pictures that are from a couple months ago, which if my explanation wasn’t taken down explained that i admitted to editing the photos posted previously in the thread, i don’t know what you think doing this to someone is going to get you, i would understand if it was out of concern which i respect many of the people who weren’t just bashing and were being insightful, obviously I’m going to see something that someone post about me yet you make it out like it’s some secret that i would be looking, no. It affects me very harshly and makes me hate myself a lot more because of reuploads that i have since deleted previously before this thread and during the thread because of the embarrassment and realization of myself, not because other people were telling me ans “exposing” me , I’m sure this response will be deleted to, since there’s no point in even trying to find middle ground or be able to defend myself. Im not telling you you don’t have the right to post about me, but there is a line that i feel has been crossed in giving respectful Critism and downright picking out every little thing, for example the contacts, does this affect you so badly ?, the my family is “loaded”, first of all you don’t know my life. I am not loaded nor do i get any money from my parents who both have worked so hard to be able raise me and my three sisters. I have had a part time job since i was 16 and i work my ass off to make money to spend on cosplay and daily things with little hours. I’m 17, I’ve had my mistakes and i explained them. nothing more i will do or comment on anymore, i tried. i can’t look at this anymore because it affects my mental health, and i know that I’m going to be called a “snowflake” but no, everyone has feelings and emotions sorry just because i cosplay and post and have people send donations doesn’t mean i can’t have valid feelings and post and vent to my followers or my friends because really i felt comfortable doing it,. I post all donations and gifts because i want to show my appreciation for the people who go out of there way to do that, it’s just a moral thing to do but once again to push the agenda eveything i do apparently means something else. i think one persons response that was summarizing the statement, and what they said was very respectful and i 100% would have been open to talking back with them but i was given a “penalty” for posting my reponse ? Here’s a summary from me
- i admitted to photoshopping all my old photos and that they were incredibly embarrassing and make me hate myself more
- i explained that most of my followers are white knights and can be incredibly ridiculous, ( the person who went to this thread was NEVER directed by me, another instance of just saying things to make people seem like i do that)
-after i was sent this thread i would come back to look at responses and make myself become so fucking hateful of my own self for my past mistakes and seeing how completely sad and broken i must have been, since the photos in this thread were one so i have deleted because of the embarrassment before this thread ( the other one) existed. I have never been an exsisting user.
- i have bad self confidence issues and mental health issues, which i explained that i understand a lot of people do but the pressure of social media/cosplayers affected my behavior as well as the things I’ve experienced (which i won’t even get into because I’m just going to be called a snowflake) and the beginning thought of seeing likes/follows going to certain looking cosplayers, ahegao posts ( the ones from when i first started , kizuna ai pic isn’t ahegao ) and my behavior that was influenced by those things
- i built my acccount from the ground up, this is me telling you god honestly i have never ever boughten followers or likes ( using socialblade actually disproves your accusations because it’s gradual increase) but i understand why you would think that (plus I’m pretty sure someone who buys likes would be buying in my case of my account , 10,000 likes each post but as you can see my posts fluctuate depending on the content of the post , the time , the day , etc., every person knows that’s how the Instagram algorithm works and how well your posts do will depend on those factors.
also followers case also depend on the post amount of post and show “personality” and engagement with the audience , as you can see i try to respond to every who leaves comments and i respond to most if not all respectful dms. I find happiness in making friends and having people respond to my stories and ask me questions.
- i go to school, have job, and have an actual life, cosplay is becoming something i have put thousands of dollars and effort into and it’s insulting to see you say i buy my followers/likes when i have invested every dime and worked so hard to get where i am. I will not give up what i have worked so hard for .
- i am working on my self esteem , but things like this and hateful comments make it worse, as with anyone . I’m sure many of you girls would understand the pressures of social media and at my age how i perceive myself could be skewed and me feel hateful towards my natural looks
- i have cut back on editing so much but none of you seem to post the posts of videos of me ? just seems like you pick out the worst things to just put a front to hate on. how come no videos are posted here? But just pictures that are being used as “what she really looks like” that are from now months ago before i even started my cosplay account. People change, and get better as time goes on, i will explain more later. <<<<That isn’t what i look like now>>>>, at all, my makeup has drastically changed as well as my whole look, since I’ve practiced and learned as well as photos taken from Facebook on the other thread or pictures that were years old. I change my makeup differently literally every month even maybe every week. So it kinda just seems like you’re showing the worst of me. i will obviously still smooth/edit and use lightening/ pink filters and edit on pngs and such to help fit characters aesthetic and look. Also i have learned what works for my face and how to accentuate certain features and hide certain things using makeup/ tape / large diameter contacts/ glueing wigs / different makeup / accentuating my chest for certain characters or hiding my chest for certain characters. from examples of pictures from photography at ax i literally look so horrible and i look back and my makeup literally was horrible compared to the now dozens of cosplays I’ve done, before that con i had two under my belt. And you don’t get to choose angles/ lighting at cons for that’s no excuse but you can understand. Also in the dva pictures i never taped my face wore a wig or contacts and yes didn’t know how to do the right makeup/ and my fuckin brows for shit back then very much trial and error since i started wearing makeup you aren’t just good or know from the start it took a lot of ugly pics for me to realize it
but i have come more confident and happy with myself and I’m sure you could see that change from the past clearly and obviously hurt and broken girl i was , from those horribly embarrassing photos.
once again this is my last time posting and commenting on this other than responding to questions or replies that are respectful. I don’t really moral to act on someone who has explained themselves and making these threads for what doesn’t seem much like “concern” anymore but now beating a dead horse or trying to ruin a persons life/ something they worked hard for. I’m 17. I’m sorry but just doesn’t seem right. I hope you can respect my reponse and not take it as an attack on any of you because i won’t stoop that low.
Here’s the provided screenshots
thats all I’m saying on the matter now, if this isn’t posted. You are all doing something so hurtful and wasting your time hating on a 17 year old you won’t even take a response from. I don’t know what being 18 makes the Diffence either if i can’t respond but you can comment on a 17 year old hatefully but that’s just coming from me.
thank you if you respect my statement. If nothing gets posted i don’t know what do to anymore but be more mentally affected every day i just want it to stop so i can work on myself and become happy with myself.
Is it really that hard to believe that a young girl in this day and age as well as in The cosplay community would photoshop photos because of extreme insecurity, in real life situations and harmful experiences , and be affected by it? i don’t think so. i hope you can realize what i was feeling.
All this is going to do is fuck with my mental stability if i don’t put it to rest . Which I’m trying to just to move on and help myself because it’s affecting my life 😭. Please.
note for the moderator, please post this for the sake of me working on myself. i cannot go on with it any longer. Thank you.
proof of me this is pixie not a follower ugh