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Mikan.Mandarin

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Everything posted by Mikan.Mandarin

  1. Mikan.Mandarin added a post in a topic mikan.mandarin   

    Hey sorry guys I was out all day today.
    I'm soooo relieved it's down, I really wanna thank you guys for helping me & understanding my wishes about my name, coming here I was expecting the worst and now I feel kinda bad for that lol cause you guys have actually been really sweet and helpful.
    I wanna ask you guys before I continue responding to the mods about asking for my name to be taken off all the posts, is it out of line to ask for the lewd pictures to be taken down too? I want them down for obvious reasons but I also appreciate what this site is for, so I don't wanna like mess with what you guys do here and go behind your backs and ask for that, thought I'd check first. 
    Today's been one of those days where like everything makes you emotional, I was out with Max today and just started like randomly crying all the time LOL, I'm such a dramatic person honestly but after things have simmered down I realise this is not the worst thing that could have ever happened and since you guys were really nice about it all I feel anymore is relief it's down and relief I opened up about it.
    Regarding addressing this on YT etc, since it was such a minuscule, unimportant part of my life eg I didn't actually make much money doing it since I gave it up so fast I mean first of all I'd totally forgotten about it when I was making the video about how I made my money to come here (I'd literally totally forgotten about it until like today lol hence why I'd never attempted to take it down before), but it also wasn't how I made my money to come here.
    If we put the two years of working during college aside, I worked full time for a year at around £9 an hour, in England they only tax you after you've made something like £11,000, at 8 hours a day that's £360 a week, £1440 a month and around £17,000 a year (like $22,000), most of it untaxed. Let's then maybe say the two years of working at college covered my expenses for that year (I ate for CHEAP in the UK lol pro tip if you live near an ASDA is to do home delivery weekly and only order exactly the things you need to cook with, less temptations than going to the store), and it's just about the right amount to pay for tuition and go. The tuition was around £5300 (just checked the site). These numbers aren't 100% because I remember having less than £2000 on me after I'd arrived in Japan and paid for my first month's rent (hence why I started tutoring English immediately). You have to show like £16,000 in the bank (if I remember correctly) to be allowed the visa but I was able to use my mum's bank statements (these are the kinds of things I need her for so I'm really scared of being cut off lmao). I barely made it actually, but I did and it's not a totally unrealistic way of doing it it's just a year of doing nothing but work and eating cheap. I thought I'd like explain it a bit better with numbers so maybe it clears it up a bit more. 
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  2. Mikan.Mandarin added a post in a topic mikan.mandarin   

    I tried, it seems to be one of those websites where they have to approve any changes you make to your profile, so even though I tried removing the information it won't go away until like one of their mods approves it, I also tried that way of removing so at this point it's kind of a waiting game but I honestly don't have high hopes, just seems to be such a poorly managed site 
    And thank you! I'll try messaging a mod then! 
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  3. Mikan.Mandarin added a post in a topic mikan.mandarin   

    Hey guys! I was informed of what was going on here and would like to come to clear some things up.
    I want to first of all address that account - it was mine, I had a friend who was doing findom stuff and she said it's super easy and I was like "awesome cool easy way to make money". Bear in mind where I was at the time - severely unhappy in my living situation, depressed, I don't talk about it in a lot of detail because my mum follows my social media and I'm afraid if she gets mad at me she'll cut me off eg she won't receive letters from the bank for me anymore and I needed a lot of details from her to enter college here etc etc but I had a REALLY bad relationship with my mum I mean she didn't want kids in the first place and she had me at 17 so it was kind of doomed from the start, my dad lived in Sweden (with like a whole new family like it wasn't an option anymore) and I was DESPERATE to get out. I HATED working at McDonald's so I literally would have taken any way out (I think this is around the time I changed my job). I was also in a Facebook community where doing these things was SO normalised, to give you an example Belle Delphine was also from that community (hence why we follow each other). Nothing against Belle or anyone who does things like this it was just made out to be a lot more normal than it is and since I was in that community since like 13 it kind of skewed my perception of things like that. EVERYONE around me was a sex worker, so I thought it was normal. 
    It actually turned out to be not so easy eg you have to actually make effort, what I found appealing about it is that my friend was like oh u don't even have to like send anything cause if they ask for something you just say they're beneath you and you wouldn't do anything for them blah blah blah anyway it made me feel icky and I hated talking to these men, gave it up and totally forgot about it (clearly even up until now). This was like before Instagram was a thing for me at all lol, it's not like I expected to become an Instagrammer so I didn't really care about using the name Mikan. Anyway, it was kind of just like "oh I just have to be mean to make money" and then when I realised that's not it I just stopped and forgot about it. I think around this time my IG was picking up too so I was like preoccupied with new things. But yeah, around that time I was trying all kinds of things to make money, I was really desperate to get out and I felt like the money I'd saved wouldn't be enough for Japan (it wasn't, hence why after college I worked a year full time). 
    I don't really have any proof other than I guess just like, if it WAS successful and I did like doing it then there's no reason for me now to not do things like have a lewd Patreon etc, it's a pretty well accepted thing these days but it's not for me. (no shame to those who do like it tho like you do you) I just didn't like it, it made me feel icky somehow. 
     
    To clear some things up, I did NOT meet Hiro on lang-8 lol I met him like November 2017 after moving to Japan and as my student (which in itself is pretty seedy so I feel like that's evidence that's not a lie).
    About my nose job since people are curious, I did it through a clinic called Transform, they let you pay it over two years in £200-ish segments which is a lot more manageable than £4000 up front but was one of the reasons why I was SO broke when I first moved to Japan. The nose job is like meh tho so if you want a better one you should probably just save up in the first place but I really wanted it done and healed before Japan. 
    And I lived in Old Woking which is like a 30-40 minute walk from Woking, mostly with my family cause the area was pretty dodgy so rent was cheap (and we also had like housing benefits), but my mum would kick me out so I'd go and live with other people all the time, so I kind of lived on and off at home.
    I'm trying to get the account taken down (seems like you can't??) so that's something, one thing I'm asking is if you could PLEASE take my last name down off any posts that have been made, my name is SO unique and especially since the stalking incident I'm SO paranoid of getting found/being stalked etc. I made a LOT of effort to keep my last name private, I would really really appreciate it.
    And like, honestly thanks for finding it because it's better it's found now than later and I can actually do something about it. I totally forgot it even existed, so thanks. 
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  4. Mikan.Mandarin added a post in a topic mikan.mandarin   

    Hey guys! Mikan here! I got a lot of messages letting me know I got posted on a thread so I decided to come here to clear things up!!
    First of all, yes! I have had a nose job (and that's totally the scar for it lol), I'd been severely insecure about my nose my whole life (and you're correct in saying I'm Kurdish, not from Kazakhstan - so I'm Middle Eastern and had a typical Middle Eastern nose), the reason I didn't post about it was sort of because I wanted that to just be ME, I didn't want that to be "new" me or want it to become a huge part of my identity. I actually post about it a lot on my personal Facebook where I have a bunch of other Instagram girls added, but I didn't want to be so open about it on my Instagram.
    That's why @Jupiters I was very defensive about my nose, I do again apologise and I can understand how a defensive reaction like that can make you not like someone.
    Second of all, you're right in saying a lot of my posts are sponsored. Actually, almost all of them are, that's why I have so many new clothes. It might indeed seem insincere and I apologise for that, but it keeps things fun for me to have new things and I can't afford to buy myself new things all the time so I feel really lucky that I have this opportunity. 
    You're right in saying I'm not very unique or anything like that, I actually just post whatever I feel like and often that's because I saw something I thought was really cool. I think you have to try reaaalllly hard to be unique now, maybe I'm not very creative but I think most things have been done at this point lol. I also never said I wasn't a weeb, I totally am have u seen what I wear, and I definitely am a try hard but this is my main hobby so I like to put a lot of work into it, but I don't watch a lot of anime (I used to and I'm trying to get back into it) and I don't listen to a lot of kpop. If you watch the video you'll see how it was meant, taking it out context like that makes it sound like I'm trying to say I'm better for not doing it, but I was just being honest. That wasn't me trying to say I'm not a weeaboo, that's just the truth. Meanwhile, I listen to a lot of Vocaloid and (again) have you SEEN how I dress? I totally am a weeb and wouldn't deny that.
    My next point is that I do indeed go outside! Actually, I have a full time job - I work 9.30-6 5 days a week. I've had jobs to support myself since I was 16, admittedly I don't have the world's closest relationship to my mum (and my dad lives in Sweden), so if I wanted something I had to either beg for it or get a job, so as soon as I turned 16 (literally!) I started working. When I was 16 I used to go to college/sixth form until around 5pm and then I'd work in McDonald's (totally glamorous right) until 10 and then a weekend day. I do appreciate how independent it's made me though. I now pay rent which is around the average for a bedroom in London (my momma dont play lmao) and I do my own grocery shopping and cook my own dinner every night. The reason really why I'm giving you my life work story is because I want to make a point that I'm actually not rich at all, neither is my mum (who's a hairdresser). Most of my clothes are just clothes I saved up over the years or sponsored (again why I accept every sponsorship, sorry). I'd also like to mention that I've been saving up for a few years now to study in Japan (again yes total weeb) which I'll be doing in October, since a lot of people ask me where I got the money to do that from.
    On to editing! I do edit my chin, but not always! For example, snow already edits enough, so I never edit my snow selfies, and if there's enough light then my chin doesn't look so bad anyway. I never fully delete the crease, I just lighten it - it's just a shadow, like bags under eyes. If you shine a light on it, it's not as visible. In the picture of me in the trees you can notice ALL my shadows, including the chin. I actually think the picture you posted with the pink wig was quite biased, because it was originally posted attached to another picture right next to it where you can indeed see my chin dimple. The reason it's totally gone in that one is because I'm pushing up my bottom lip (which like creases the chin up, if that makes sense?). I tend to edit all the shadows of my face, so my chin falls into that. I also never edit my skin - my skin is olive, sort of a light tan, and depending on things like light/filters/flash it increases or decreases in tan-ness. I also don't edit my nose, but it does look different in different angles, and (again) I had a nose job and swelling goes down a lot over the first year, so that might be the difference. I would also like to note that I never edit the pictures photographers send me, whatever they edit is up to them. My Youtube videos are not edited at all (I don't think you can edit how you look in videos? I might be wrong) so they're a good indication at the very least.
    The pictures where I look considerably worse are pictures I did while freelance modelling. For a while I was working in a taxi company and I wasn't paid a lot and then I left that job so I didn't have a job at all for a few weeks, so I did freelance modelling. I worked with a lot of amateur photographers and photographers who didn't understand my style, and I was also an amateur and quite experimental with things like posing and my outfits, so that was a messy period for me but I learnt a lot from it. I'd also like to note that I actually don't make money at all on Instagram except when I posted those ads for Schwartz and Nickelodeon. Just free stuff, which I appreciate anyway. Usually I'm given affiliate codes which send 10% of how much people spend using my codes to my Paypal, but that's so little I don't even think about it, it's usually nothing at all but sometimes I get $2 here and there. 
    I'd also like to apologise for the annoying hashtags, I attribute them entirely to my following growth and I'm sorry if they're a bit too much. 
    I may well just have made things a lot worse, but I'd at least prefer for you guys to dislike me for things that are true rather than make up things about me. I'm more than happy to answer any more questions if needed.
    Thanks!
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