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  1. perfume added a post in a topic Who Do You Think Should Have A Thread On PULL That Doesn’t Already?   

    Trust me, there is. I would really second it being general jfasion, so it is focused on the collective of the real snowflakes/personalities and not the petty ones that sometimes get too much attention when they are just not that interesting enough but there just isn’t enough to keep it afloat in any one fashion style.
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  2. perfume added a post in a topic TW: Poll on suicide   

    The decision and act of committing suicide is not a brave one. It is typically the product of desperation and exhaustion. The sufferer may have struggled for a given period of time, and simply reached their point where the options are to try and carry on or accept defeat. Because most people who are suicidal do not want to die for the sake of it, but because they have one form of pain they wish to get away from because they feel there are no more options to lessen their burden. In the end it is an act of self-euthanasia carried out by the sufferering party.
    Typically there are two types of suicidal idealations. There is the acute one, which comes on suddenly in a scenario of extreme duress, typically identified as a meltdown. This person is acting in the spur of the moment, rashly, and with little thoughts outside of their extreme emotions. For more providers they are the best to respond to any aide or treatment, as most suicidal meltdowns can be brought to an end with some sort of resolution. But, mostly these individuals fail because they are unable to think clearly enough to divide a method of suicide that is reliable and effective; usually it is some stupid method. The other is chronic, which is in the back of someone’s mind for a long time. This person usually thinks on it for an extended period of time. They are the ones no one expects, and for providers they are the most worrisome because these individuals are the best at hiding their thoughts. They will look at the wider repercussions of their suffering, weighing it out with the repercussions of their successful suicide. These people clean their methods carefully, and exhibit symptoms only a trained eye can pick up when they have come to their diecision (i.e. a serene contentment, decision to suddenly start giving things away, slowly putting their affairs in order). When the later comes to their decision they are the most likely to actually be successful.
    Is it selfish? Yes, though not in the way I hear spoken about. It is a decision about themselves, their welfare, their limitations, and though most are uninformed due to a limited perspective of alternatives... for some it is a carefully craft conclusion.
    Living in the face of adversity is brave. But sometimes someone just cannot continue being brave when all intel informs them that they are up against a losing battle. There is nothing noble about suicide, but it is sometimes a person’s decision to find a resolution. Most suicides can be prevented with better care, better resources, better public education, and better support. But mostly suicide can be prevented with some form of change. Suicide is the most permanent symptom of diseases. It is simply that the person is in pain, and does not want to or cannot continue to endure it. That I can understand.
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  3. perfume added a post in a topic Random Chat Thread   

    Honestly, I am also in the middle but depending on the scenario I lean more towards your friend. 
    This is more in line where I believe.
    I believe in not shaming women’s bodies when they have agency over themselves and do not use their values to shame women within reason. We know that typically shaming a woman for being obese doesn’t get them to do anything about it. Most women just feel more hopeless as the shame piles on and lets themselves spiral.
    On that same token I support a woman’s right to have some privacy in the source of her appearance. I.e. she does not have to announce to the world if she’s had plastic surgery, especially not in a public venue such as the internet. However, I do not believe she should lie, though she should reserve the right to refuse to comment. In that same line I do not believe that simple photoshopping or wearing wigs without disclosing openly OR acknowledging public commentary warrants snowflake behavior. The truth is, many people have features they hate about themselves, and some love it with a few swipes on Meitu; the world is a critical place, and when people feel their own insecurities are being echoed by strangers then those insecurities become far more obsessive. If someone has a little issue with their nose and wants to edit their nose to feel more comfortable, then as soon as they feel like they may become the target of additional scrutinity for the simple act of photoshopping then they feel that their flaw is something that warrants shame. Because they are uncomfortable with that flaw, want to do small things to accommodate this flaw in public medic, only for the added attention on their photoshopping behavior feels like proof because if they weren’t flawed then they would be comfortable with themselves, then it becomes a more internalized vehicle of self-hatred. This may not be a reasonable logic, but it is something I’ve observed and can understand.
    As wigs was mentioned that is something I’d like to segway briefly on. Some women wear wigs for health reasons, such as alopecia, loss by medical treatments (i.e. chemo, medication), and there are instances which women have had their hair “lost” due to abusive actions by other people. What I’m saying is that sometimes women wear a wig because the situation of their natural hair has become a source of discomfort or shame for reasons outside of their control. I believe a person has the right to wear a wig, not say they are wearing a wig, refuse to answer questions, because in all it can be a liability of protecting medical privacy or some other form of privacy. Yes, they could explain their reasons for wearing a wig if asked, but that immediately becomes like tumblr’s demands that a person disclose all mental health problems to justify their inclusion.
    If someone does not lie about that behavior then I do not believe these actions alone warrant snowflake behavior. It would take more. Even though we share so much of our lives on social media it is still a good practice not to overshare or to be forced to overshare. Privacy should be rewarded in some measures, to prevent the real acts of a snowflake from... well, snowballing. Much of our world is on the internet, in the open, with opportunities to socialize outside of the internet becoming smaller and smaller. No longer can nerds go to their mall and easily find each other by hanging out in their favorite bookstores and small fashion niches are not almost exclusively involved in each other on the internet or in very specific events where a new person is not likely to just walk up to. Teenagers do not hang out in the mall or go to the park to hang out like in previous generations, and younger individuals are learning to drive later and later. The reason is because the internet is the primary venue of social interaction, almost to the point of being against someone’s will. Though there are reasons around it, it is hard, hidden, and limits of engagement may make it seem less than worthwhile. Yes these are out in the open, but it isn’t merely the act of being in the open that defines snowflake behavior. If that was the case, then anyone who wanted to spend time with like minded groups would automatically be a snowflake because they go where the people are which is primarily on the internet. It is what they do from there, on the internet.
    Obviously the actions of Momo and Kelly Eden are examples of problematic relationships with alterations. Though to most it would be obvious that they change their appearance with digital tools, their attempts to frame the product of plastic surgery as something they achieved at the gym is where the lie comes into. This is wrong, because it tries to rewrite the context of their bodily changes to create a false perception of their appearance. I do not agree with this, and the thing is this isn’t even the beginning of their snowflake material. The lies about photoshopping, plastic surgery, wig wearing, all to be correlative with greater snowflake behavior. However, since it is not the primary symptom of their snowflakeness it cannot be defined as the causative symptom, thus the actual act of lying is merely a symptom. There are some girls I’ve seen here that produce rather dry milk, and probably their biggest faux pas was getting a nose job and not saying anything. Makes for a rather boring snowflake. Then you go to the above mentioned girls and... yikes. It is just the icing on the cake that they so blatantly shop themselves or have surgery.
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  4. perfume added a post in a topic How do y'all lose weight?   

    Honestly, when you meet friends you can trust then do not be ashamed of asking for help. Food addiction is real, much like any other substance or behavioral abuse. I hope that in time I won’t need as much measures to keep me under control, and maybe with practice it will become easier. I know that counting calories helps and I treat each calorie like a dollar. So, I have X amount, and I cannot go over.
    My close friends are aware of the idea of body positive from tumblr, so it took me a while to break it through their head that part of body positivity is also supporting someone who wants to change their body to fit their psychological needs, whether it is to lose weight, get tattoos or piercings, or get plastic surgery. Though the best comparison I had to put into terms they understood was to compare the feeling I would get when I gained too far was dysphoria, like gender dysphoria, only mine is body (size) dysphoria. It was the price I would pay when I fell off the food addiction wagon. It was only after that which my roommates understand. It also helped one of them, who was even more overweight than I ever was and went from a size 20 to a size 8 just following along with me.
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  5. perfume added a post in a topic How do y'all lose weight?   

    Thought this would be the right thread to contribute about weight issues and try to reach out for support.
    Break down: 
        1.    Through about 14 years old never worried about weight. Always really skinny.
        2.    Puberty hit and began to form a natural hour glass figure. Hated it. Still didn’t worry about food intake. Wasn’t until end of senior year had old clothes actually gotten too small.
        3.    Left for school first time, also first experience in total control over what foods were offered. With a bank account paid by parents went a bit crazy. Gained over 30lbs. 
        4.    Over the next ten years it ballooned up to about 180lbs on 5’7” frame. Hated it but did nothing real to change. Understood nothing about calories. 
         5.    Three years ago suffered a major crisis. Struggled to eat for two months. Went from over 160lbs to 140lbs in two months.
         6.    Got first taste of not feeling fat in many, many years.
         7.    Since then it has been an yo-yo battle. Smallest 124lbs, now 134. Low weight has become important because fashion has been apart of career.
    It takes extreme and unhealthy measures to control my engagement with food. But that is because my relationship with food is extreme and unhealthy; I have the same relationship with food as an alcoholic has with alcohol. Sadly, we can get away from alcohol and live but food is not the same  
    Right now I want to get back to 125lbs to try and get more jobs again. I was hired more frequently when I was that small. Not only that, but I felt more mentally confident. I do react extremely bad when I see the weight go up, but to me that is just a cue to work harder to keep it down. Luckily I live with highly supportive friends who understand and care to do what they can to help me. When it comes to food I am disorderly, just not enough for medical professionals to get themselves involved in what they see as a non-issue.
    I wish this so-called body positivity movement was more intersectional of body issues. There is little cultural support those who want to fight against their food intake’s contribution to a body larger than they want. Everything is treated black and white: you can only be skinny if you don’t want to work for it. My binge eating was very unhealthy, for me mentally and physically. Mentally it ate at my confidence and clouded my judgment.
    Because of the measures of required to keep my addictive rating under control I’m immediately cornered as not just a candidate for anorexia, but one who immediately requires medical intervention. We watch my weight, count calories to make sure I’m eating neither too much or too little. I acknowledge that I shouldn’t have to go through such extreme measures, but I do have to because of my unhealthy compulsion to eat food. 
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