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Does anybody reading have any advice for forming female friendships especially as you get older? I thought I’d revisit this thread to see how it’s doing, I definitely feel like female friendships are quite delicate in the beginning and as I’ve gotten older I’ve found it harder to find my peers or those with similar interests. I think being around people regularly definitely helps. some things that might help : Work environment; are there people you could probably become friends with? you could offer to get lunch together, work events are a good way of getting to know people because youre out of the office etc an letting your hair down.Friends partners - its always easier when you have a mutual friend, you could offer to hang out and have them bring over their partner more often. Meetup groups - I have wanted to try this haven't had the guts to do it yet, meetup.com and facebook local interest groups may hold regular meets in your area. ive seen a fair few cosplay, goth, Lolita, and music interest groups on meetup.com. You could always start one of your own if you cant find one in your bracket. Last one, an old aspie friends method, he moved around a lot, I tried it when I moved and it does actually help IMO: - Go to a local bar on a working night, don't take your phone or a book, anything that might make you seem closed off, sit at the bar, order a drink and just enjoy the atmosphere even if its dead, if there are some regulars usually at the bar chatting to the bar man, theres usually one that likes to show off a bit, just allow a conversation to develop and get chatting to them and their friends Mini novel because working from home is really slow today: (TW: Sensitive topics )
I’m concerned that my friend who has a good heart is going to be treated like a lap dog by his new gf. It’s early days and he wants me to like her but the more I learn about her, the more the pessimism is sinking in. She wants to be a popular IG model and it already seems like she uses people for things. This is so trivial, but if I don’t know you properly, don’t tag me in online competitions because you want free stuff. It’s like she expects everyone to like everything she puts out but she won’t even glimpse at anyone else’s stuff. I have given away a dress to her when she knows I’m trying to start my own business and my friend has talked about getting her to model for me, but it’s like after she got something she doesn’t want to know? It’s rubbed me the wrong way. My friend was talking about modelling in general and when they were on the phone together he brought up a story I mentioned to him about one of her favourite models dating an old friend of mine. Basically the girl treated him like shit and used a bunch of their mutual friends. Her response was “omg that’s horrible.. I don’t think I can support her knowing that..” The next day, she is tagging this girl in her IG story kissing her ass. She decided to call when I was hanging out with my friend and then she proceeds to keep the dude on the phone for over an hour... I don’t get to see him often and we had both been dealing with some stuff and really needed that chat to vent etc. He also ended up struggling to get back because he missed his train home and the phone call sapped his battery. I think the thing that really strikes me as weird and makes me think why would you do that? Is when she will post online about being sober from drinking. That’s fine if you don’t want to drink, whatever I don’t have a problem, do your own thing. But she is claiming that she has been alcohol free for four years. She has only just turned 18. Her mother is very protective and like a banshee. So are you telling me that at 14 you were an alcoholic? It’s something that she likes to bring up all the time in stories and it seems fake and like she’s trying to wear it like some badge of honour , when you’ve had friends and family struggle with alcohol it just seems blatant and false. Anyway, I’m worried my friend is dating a princess. He has a heart of gold and because of this, toxic people take advantage of him. I’ve seen it happen before and I’m anxious it’s happening again. I don’t want to have a problem with her and have distance put between one of my oldest friends but ffs it’s not looking good at the moment.
I think victoria has been posting to lolcow, what do you guys reckon? I think there's a lot of details she's changed to curve people, (drug change to win people's favour, naturally skinny, IG following, knowledge of how the net works) but I think it's her based on this : - known for makeup posts - victim complex - ketamine IG screenshot leads to seekingarrangement (finsta) account discovery ; nobody gets through to a private IG unless you accept them, anyone could use a throwaway to find her seekingarrangement. - looking for skincare solution, she's posted a fair few times about skincare woes. - the Internet is now accusing her of being a drug addict - the Internet is accusing her of glorifying mental illness
I think this is victoria Campbell but she's tweaked her IG numbers down a lot to try and throw people off. Also I think she's downplaying with the "I can't beat my face", the mirror thing is also generic snowflake stuff. But here's what makes me think it's her: she posted a live IG pic of a "benefits of ketamine" post on her laptop, somebody captured it and posted it on tumblr, then someone noticed she had a seekingarrangement favourite tab and then searched for it and sure enough, vic has a seeking arrangement profile. It might be on here, but screenshots are definitely somewhere on tumblr. theres a few things on there that she's said to throw people off, but the stuff it boils down to makes me think it's her, she's griped before about her skin, and pull highlights how she glamourises mental health problems. I get the feeling she's changed the drug to win over anons sympathy and get some skincare advice at the same time. If other people can confirm, I think we've found out this anon.
@rich this is some really sound advice, I wish I could pin it somewhere where people can see who aren't in @Blair Waldorf 'S position, that shits good for everyone to know as a message of caution, I agree with the job change and breakup advice, while we don't know the details of your job or relationship, it's an insidious position to be in and will pick away at you. For some people, having sex with people is fine in their heads so long as they don't kiss them, because somehow not kissing someone is a marker of their loyalty... if that's the first time he's actually kissed someone outside of his marriage, it might be a revelation to him, but not in a "I need to do the right thing and breakup with my wife" way, more of a "I've actually kissed this person and want more" way, so he might be more aggressive in pursuing you once the dust settles a little. Please keep us updated with how things go, him being your boss worries me a little
The best thing is to cut them all out, even the popcorn munchers. I'm a bit more brutal when it comes to cutting people out and as such, I get lonely from time to time now. But I will say, I still prefer it to hanging out with someone and having an inkling they're going to gossip about you. Don't be surprised if they still use you as a conversation topic in months, even years to come. That happens when you're actually doing something with your life and moving towards your goal. Some people only want to be friends with people who they can wallow with. Subtle things start holding you back when you hang around with people who don't want you doing better for yourself. From my experience, it can get dark very quickly. Try distancing yourself from them until you're not hanging out anymore.
A girl I know from school kinda fits this bill, she has an online presence but it's not as big as she'd wish for. We'll call her S. Hey S. i met her at school, she was quiet, polite and sweet, I was pally with her sister so we'd occasionally hang around the shops for an hour or so after school. Always seemed nice enough. I lost contact with her and her sister after school and about 4 years later while working a night shift, I got a drunk whatsapp voice message from them both and Her sister messaged me more because, well we were closer. She got a bit huffy that I was speaking more to her sister, I just presumed this was because she was the drunker of the two. She started pouring her heart out over messages, telling me about all the times people had screwed her over, her eating disorder and her tumblr blog. Again, presumed this was the alcohol talking. I thought the "I'm so fucking thin I deserve to be tumblr famous" line was satirical and poking fun at net personalities. after messaging more I started hanging out the odd night at hers with her sister. On my first visit, she lost her shit after and wrecked their living room, pulled out a literal clump of her sisters hair... why? Because when I was talking to her, her sister interjected. It took me and her petite mom to keep this girl from scalping her sister. At this point it was clear she still had an issue with alcohol. I took her sister for a walk to gain her composure and when we got back, S was huffily proclaiming "I'm going to the pub.(3am) I'm 18 now so you can't fucking stop me." Thankfully her boyfriend(I swear this guy has the patience of a saint) picked her up and she stayed at his for the night. When she left she yelled "oh yeah.. tikkusmeep...THANKS" sarcastically. After that, if we were hanging out, it was when S was at her boyfriends. She was needlessly sarcastic. I don't think she even knows the actual definition of sarcasm and just comes off like a bitch all the time. She would either be really pally and gush over you or talk with absolute vitriol and venom. No in between, the definition of walking on eggshells. When hanging out, her sister confided that S had gotten pregnant and was having an abortion, the first attempt (pill form) had failed and now she was having another. If her sister hadn't told me, I'd have known this anyway because she made no effort to hide the pill packets when she knew we were hanging out in her other wise pristine room. No real news on that. I fell out with her sister after a while and S would reply with snarky comments implying I was a drug addict on my statuses (I had been drugged by her sister and OD-d. Her sister is another story.) I block her and everything's quiet. A few years pass and I decide to check up on S social media, who doesn't get curious about a train wreck? Being as S craved EFame so much, her handles on pretty much everything have been the same since she was 14ish. So a bunch of stuff comes up. She was one of those mean, hangry ana girls and would start shit on proana forums, rile up members and deny it. I find a recent search result and this kinda scared me. It was another forum, but this time it's a conceiving and pregnancy forum. She talks about how she's coming off the pill, and from her other posts, it sounds like her boyfriend knows jack about this. That post links me to a more recent one, and yup. She's pregnant. Another blog I'd dismissed before is her "baby journey" blog. Motherhood can really transform some people, but I have my doubts. The baby was born and she seems to have thrown herself fully into the full time mommy thing, like it is her sole existence. Knowing this girl, she'll have a decent stab at it for a few years, but get bored when she sees other young girls out, living it up for the Internet like she used to and do a complete 180. Her boyfriend is about 8-9 years older and seems to be a grounded guy, I'm imagining she'll get bored of him and dump him for a girl (is bi), leaving him with the baby.
I honestly can't take Trisha's meltdowns seriously. Don't get me wrong, I think there's something in them. But it just seems like she's role playing the part of a broken Hollywood starlet like Anna Nicole or Britney during her breakdown. Her instagram is full of her recreating photos of starlets, and this doesn't seem any different in my mind when she's rolling around in bed like Britney in Everytime
The one thing that I always pay attention to about onion, is just how much he hates being seconded to someone else. I don't think he could survive in a relationship where someone excels past his (admittedly low, scum bag) level. i mean look at his exes. He uses them to elevate himself or stand over them, despite his claims of being a feminist, he can't stand the idea of having a strong, successful partner who leads the relationship. with Skye, she was the one who really grew the channel in the early days, a lot of fans were there for Skye, not onision. She put him on the path to YouTube fame/infamy. With shiloh, she already had fame prior to meeting onision in her own right. He used her as a spring board to more attention and fame, but I honestly believe he was threatened by her independent success and tried to undermine her confidence and success by humiliating her online and exposing their relationship. when it comes to lainey, I feel like he uses her as a puppet to parrot whatever he's saying. She's almost like s proxy to use to manipulate others. He's too narcissistic to infer that someone could actually hurt him, so instead of saying "I feel hurt that you..." he uses lainey; "you've broken laineys heart/ broken he trust". he mentioned in older videos that Lainey doesn't really like being on camera, so baring that in mind, I think he pushed her to start her own channel to stroke his own ego.(kind of like a "look how I took an absolute nobody and because she's married to me, she's an automatic star"). With the recent billie video, I get the feeling onision has gave her a guideline of what to say. Some people who take onision with a pinch of salt are more empathetic to lainey, so I wholeheartedly think there's times where he uses her as a sock puppet to valid his "facts". Personally, I don't have any respect for lainey, she's a doormat and plays the role of a victim, which while harder to spot, is just as bad, if not more insidious in my mind. to me, billie kind of represents a new age of social media, she had her own small following on IG and Twitter, has links with other youtubers and is much more dialled in with "the young people of today". She mentioned that he claimed he stayed with her because she is attractive. I don't doubt he'd use someone for looks, the drama he gained was a big boost. I think he underestimated how many people would support her though. lainey has some hardcore fans who you might call blind sheep, they're pretty easy to manipulate. The interesting thing about billie is that even people who don't necessarily like her are siding with her because they see onision behaviour as problematic, therefore, I think that's more threatening to him. Instead of humiliating her and walking away a big strong man, it's not working as well as he hoped. He crossed a line revealing her secret, someone who is secure doesn't use that as ammo let alone their first weapon. Because of that, I think he's most threatened by billie. His actions really shit all over the calm, intelligent,"bigger person" demeanour he tries so hard to project. Tldr : if he can't use exes to elevate himself, he's not interested. The moment they get a backbone or aren't useful, bye bye you traitor.
Didn't she run an elite beauty group on vampirefreaks too? I remember if you wanted to join you had to submit a photo with a sign saying "I <3 (whatever the group was called)" and they'd judge whether you were beautiful enough to be accepted. If she ran one on MySpace too it kinda paints her as pretty egotistical to put herself in a position where she gets to judge who's pretty enough to sit at her table. i think it was called "The Beautiful People" in hindsight.
@twizllers exactly, I think at heart, the majority of PULL members just want to see snowflakes sort their shit out. That's exactly the case with victoria. I don't like how there's some sub forums where people will call snowflakes "ugly, looks forty" etc, and it just seems petty, spiteful and venomous. I'm not blind, she is a pretty girl and has a lot going for her, it's like you said it's her need to hide behind disorders and having to be the edgiest person around I can't stomach. I think if she was honest and took responsibility like an adult, she'd have a supporter in me. Her choice in approaching situations is just backwards to me though, and whilst she isn't as bad as someone like wylona, she certainly doesn't help herself and makes her life harder for no reason other than edge points. if that's the extent of what people will do for no other reason other to get attention from people they don't know online, I don't see the point of social media.
Not at all, she isn't soliciting or doing anything shameful, the part I have a problem with is "I'm not a unfair or dishonest person. I am caring and kind and I do my best to keep those around me happy" and that's simply because it's very easy to find cases of her lying, sending people hate and toying with people. With sugaring things can get very messy quickly, and i don't think victoria handles messy situations very well. It could either work well for her or just further unravel her. Point being, i don't think she's secure in herself to deal with it. I don't have any problems with sugaring, if somebody wants a partner who actually has ambition and the will to succeed in work/life/passions and wants to help them flourish, fair play because it cuts a lot of bullshit out.